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I do not mean, are you a bad person or, are you always in a hate mode or, is hate all you're capable of or, have you acted upon hate.
I'm asking if you've ever been in a circumstance where you reacted by feeling hate, and experienced feeling the emotion of hate toward another person.
What are the qualities of the normal human emotion of hate....hot, confused, disorienting, painful, fearful? What is hate like? And, can knowing hate's qualities make you more able to recognize compassion for others, and love?
I do not mean, are you a bad person or, are you always in a hate mode or, is hate all you're capable of or, have you acted upon hate.
I'm asking if you've ever been in a circumstance where you reacted by feeling hate, and experienced feeling the emotion of hate toward another person.
What are the qualities of the normal human emotion of hate....hot, confused, disorienting, painful, fearful? What is hate like? And, can knowing hate's qualities make you more able to recognize compassion for others, and love?
I've hated, conciously and viciously. It's a sickening feeling; I never enjoy feeling hateful.
The first time was after someone I thought was a close friend turned out to be a major, big-time creep -- that friendship ended when he insulted my hospitality, in my own home. He has not been back to my home since that day.
Hardest thing I've ever had to do, actually....
The second moment of 'hate' was when a female acquaintance (who wanted to start a physical relationship) almost caused a --huge-- rift between me and my ex-girlfriend.
When I declined her advances, she told my roommate that I tried to rape her (I'm a pacifist and find the idea abhorrent and disgusting).
I didn't find out about it until my roomie told me the next evening, at which point I unleashed every rude epithet that I was capable of pronouncing (which, in point of fact, is quite a large number).
Other than those moments, I have never been 'hateful', to the best of my awareness.
Hi Willdufauve, I think you acted out of normal human emotions of strong dislike. Your feelings were in reaction of what was done to you. I think everyone has had those feelings even if we did not openly expressed them. We can always grow to the point of forgivness, but to hate someone for no reason is sick and dummm.
I, liike FrednotBob mentioned in his post, hate it when people accuse of things that I have NOT done. Especially if the person who is telling those lies about me is someone I have truly trusted in the past. It is the worst form of betrayal and could twist love into a deeply distrusting feeling.
Hi Willdufauve, I think you acted out of normal human emotions of strong dislike. Your feelings were in reaction of what was done to you. I think everyone has had those feelings even if we did not openly expressed them. We can always grow to the point of forgivness, but to hate someone for no reason is sick and dummm.
Well, thanks for your reply, but no one did anything to me. It's been snowing pretty steady since mid-December and I'm killing time till spring (my only hate right now is winter).
It's a hypothetical question. I could have asked "Have you ever feared?" What are the qualities of fear?
I don't think I've ever HATED someone to the level that some people are talking about. Certainly there are people I strongly dislike but I can't say that I've ever acted out in HATRED against someone....
I take that back... I think when 9/11 happened I absolutely hated Osama Bin Laden... In fact, I still do... The question is: Would I act on that hatred given an opportunity to? Really, I don't think there'd be a jury on this planet that would convict me for doing something to him. I'd probably be a hero... but would I act on that hatred and do something to him??? As much as I feel that there is a possibility, I think that I'd only be giving him what he wants... Nah.... I'd love to... but I'd have to restrain myself... The inner turmoil is that in which you really want to do something but know you mustn't. Interesting thoughts....
I have truly hated only two people in my life and never acted on it. I almost wished I had as hatred slowly eats you up, and swallows you. It made me bitter and I felt issues were unresolved for a long time. It made me feel totally powerless. I hated the feeling.
Maybe getting revenge would have been sweet and I would have felt a sense of closure.
All I know is how overwhelming and powerful an emotion it is and how destructive. I learnt to let go and it was the best thing I ever did for myself possibly.
I still feel twinges of extremely strong dislike on many occasions towards certain people but I just try to ignore those and move on.
I know acting on those emotions would bring out the very worst in me and in fact just having that pure hate takes you to your darkest inner recesses.
I try to remember that I don't want to stoop to the levels of those people but it can very hard.
So far my conscience has won out.
However I am very conscious that my finer feelings might disintegrate should someone hurt a loved one. If someone killed or tortured my other half for example, I suspect my more savage and brutal side might re-surface.
All of us are capable of the most terrible crimes IMO and we should be aware that our veneer of civilised behaviour is very thin indeed.
At the end of the day the animal instinct is still within us.
Have I ever hated, yes. Have I forgiven, yes- as much as is possible. I still do not talk to or associate with those who I 'hated' but I harbor no ill will toward them. Simply choose not to be around them.
Hate can consume, control and destroy. Hate can make you miserable, vengeful and nasty.
My 9 year old recently told me she 'hated' someone in her class. I told her that hating anyone is not productive or healthy. That if she dislikes someone- because they are not nice, or rude, or whatever reason a 9 year old can hate someone- that she should simply avoid them, and not play with them or interact with them unless her teacher instructed her to. And then, she should be polite and do 'whatever' shes supposed to be doing, but that she does not have to be friends with that person.
Had to explain to her that we all have people we don't like- I have clients I don't care for, hubby has co workers he doesnt care for...its how you deal with the person and situation that sets you apart.
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Especially if the person who is telling those lies about me is someone I have truly trusted in the past. It is the worst form of betrayal and could twist love into a deeply distrusting feeling.
