To rejoice or grieve at funerals (hell, church, atheist, Baptist)
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Not to cause any trouble here, but at a funeral, there should not be any grieving. Not to say that there isn't sadness for OUR loss (I'm not trying to open a can of worms, please!). But we should rejoice that they have gone to live with our Heavenly Father!
Weather...
(sound of can full of worms being opened...)
Then why do we rarely see this? And why do christians fight so hard for silly things, like keeping people alive on life support, like Terry Schiavo (more worms).
Logically, when a christian dies, family and friends should be jumping for joy. People should be smoking, drinking, eating cholesterol laden foods and driving without their seatbelts in an effort to cut their lives short. After all, the sooner you die, the sooner you get to heaven.
Yet at every funeral that I have attended, people with strong christian beliefs are just as saddened as non-believers.
It's an interesting point stretch and perhaps one that theists could enlighten us on.
Scenario:
You are seriously injured or become seriously ill. Why do you not refuse all medical treatment and say....it's god's will and I'm happy to die if that's what is going to happen....because that is what god want's.
The added bonus in doing this of course, is that it would mean that there is more medical treatment and hospital beds available for us atheists.
Then why do we rarely see this? And why do christians fight so hard for silly things, like keeping people alive on life support, like Terry Schiavo (more worms).
Logically, when a christian dies, family and friends should be jumping for joy. People should be smoking, drinking, eating cholesterol laden foods and driving without their seatbelts in an effort to cut their lives short. After all, the sooner you die, the sooner you get to heaven.
Yet at every funeral that I have attended, people with strong christian beliefs are just as saddened as non-believers.
I like this one. Hopefully, you will get some great responses.
Let me start like this, for those who don't know who I am.
Weather, Christian, Catholic
My first experience with funerals was when I was 12. My Grandfather had passed away unexpectedly. I will never forget the sight of my Grandmother clinging to his dead body and crying. They had to drag her away. I will also never forget the way he looked. This is not the way a child should remember their Grandfather. After that, I would never approach an open casket.
I think people grieve for their own personal loss. I certainly understand this. But I also believe that if we are believers and we truly believe that this person has gone to live with our Heavenly Father, then we should also be rejoicing. It was not until I married my husband and attended funerals with him and his family that I actually got to experience the JOY to be found in a funeral. The person has not died, but entered into eternal life.
It's an interesting point stretch and perhaps one that theists could enlighten us on.
Scenario:
You are seriously injured or become seriously ill. Why do you not refuse all medical treatment and say....it's god's will and I'm happy to die if that's what is going to happen....because that is what god want's.
The added bonus in doing this of course, is that it would mean that there is more medical treatment and hospital beds available for us atheists.
de calvo, I agree with you completely. I, personally, never want to be hooked to life support for just the sake of prolonging my death. (But that is another subject intirely.)
To stay on thread here, Im gonna say it should be a joyous occasion when a believer goes to be with the Lord, or should I just say passes away. However, no matter how great that is and we believe we will see them again, it is still with great sadness, because we have no idea how long it will be before we see them again. I think the grieving process is different for each person, not matter what your beliefs are for the afterlife.
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All, some good points being made on this topic of death and the believer. Yes, we Christians should rejoice when a loved one or friend goes home. However, we are still humans and have a mode of grief built in. In other words, our feelings are our feelings. It's not so much that we cry and grieve because we think the loved one is gone forever, but that we will not see them until we rejoin them.
Jesus did not rebuke Martha and Mary for weeping over Lazarus. The Bible says Jesus even wept. It's a human emotion if you become detached from your emotions what do you have?
All, some good points being made on this topic of death and the believer. Yes, we Christians should rejoice when a loved one or friend goes home. However, we are still humans and have a mode of grief built in. In other words, our feelings are our feelings. It's not so much that we cry and grieve because we think the loved one is gone forever, but that we will not see them until we rejoin them.
Indeed we grieve, but not as those without faith (if I may paraphrase Paul).
Grief over the loss of loved ones is usually tremendous, no matter what your belief. The realization that this person, whom you knew and/or loved, is not here anymore is extremely painful. That, IMO, is where the sadness and tears come from. And there could be non-believers at any funeral who just don't have the hope we do and are extremely upset. But I have been to funerals for believers who have gone home to be with the Lord and non-believers who have gone on to judgement and Hell (according to my beliefs). They are two different experiences.
At a believer's funeral, yes there are tears and sadness, but there's also the knowledge that they have gone to be with God; that they're no longer suffering, struggling in this cursed world where we remain. There's more laughter at memories and stories of how the person touched our lives or how they lived theirs before dying. It is generally more up-beat.
At a non-believer's funeral, I am usually very upset and sad and full of grief. I know their fate (according to my beliefs) and it pains me to think about where they have ended their journey. This on top of missing them not being around anymore. I am remorseful that I didn't reach them for God or try harder or something. These funerals are generally more depressing and emotionally draining.
As to why you've observed strong Christians distraught at funerals could be due to combinations listed above or they're focusing on themselves -- not in a bad way, but could be feeling "the person won't be here for me" or "this hurts me" because of whatever or something along those lines. I say allow them to get it out of their system, let them grieve their way. Once the initial shock of losing someone passes, they come back to their senses to realize they have much to rejoice about (if the person was a beliver, again, according to my beliefs).
I've been to funerals as a child where the wailing and weeping scared me to death! As I grew older, I was one who was also scared to go up to a casket and/or touch a dead person. I think the episodw with my grandmother weeping and wailing and falling out in church during my grandfathers funeral had a deep impact on me, I was 3 or 4 years old.
It was not until I was older and went to 2 of my cousins funerals that changed me. Yes, there was a lot of crying, one was 11 yearsold, the other in his 20's. But I understood the sadness was for the lack of these two actually getting the chance to have a life, they died too early.
When my father died, there were so many people that filed thru the funeral home during the 2 day visitation it was unreal, Yes, people were sad, but there was so much laughter, telling stories of things remembered. This was the tone of his funeral, two of his best friends, preachers conducted his funeral, and it was a celebration of life lived, and they spoke of sadness we feel being tempered by the knowledge of his love for God--which we rejoiced in knowing that we would see him again. It was a different kind of funeral, not like our usual Baptist ones, and I appreciated it.
My mothers mom (grandmom but we called her myrt-go figure) we grandchildren had a large role in helping with funeral arrangements, now she had a large family with 6 kids. We set up a slide show showing the kids and grandkids in pictures with her and her funeral was also a celebration not only of life but with the knowledge she was at home with God. Tears? yes there were tears, but not that horrid weeping and wailing from years past.
On a side note...When my father died, my oldest was 4, and I did notlet him attend the wake or funeral. I wanted his memories of my dad to be happy ones with them doing things together. I did not want him tramatized as I was. I know this is a personal decision for each to make, and that was my choice. I don't regret doing this.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I've seen a change in how funerals are done around here. From the deepest saddest ones as a child to acknowledgment of hope and faith with celebration not only for life lived, but for the journey home to be with God.
My belief is that we are sad in the selfish way that we are going to miss that person greatly, and this is normal and perfectly fine as it gives closure to family and friends. (Which is what I believe a funeral is for) Don't go out and nit-pick the word closure here, it means being able to grieve and then start building a life without that person, moving on so to speak. I believe the living need this in order to live their lives without that special person by their side and also, with the celebration, they can remember the funeral with memories that are bittersweet instead of such sadness.
Just because we are Christians does not mean it's party time when a loved one dies. We still feel pain, loss, hurt and even anger sometimes, but knowing that our loved one is a Christian and is with the Lord helps to ease that sadness as be go through the grieving process. It broke my mothers heart when my daddy died, I've never seen her that sad but it was the strength she got from God that carried her through and knowing he is more alive today than when he was here on earth. God gives us the comfort and strength we need as we grieve.
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