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God stayed faithful to His covenant with us although we were unfaithful to Him, rejected Him and hurt Him by our sins. Furthermore, He sacrificed His own life so that we may find healing. If we believe in Jesus, and love him, we too must stay faithful to our covenant with of spouse even when there is hurt, rejection and unfaithfulness (Hosea 3:1); and love our spouse as Christ loves His Church (Ephesians 5:25). We must therefore find healing for our spouse through our expressions of sacrificial love towards our spouse.Furthermore, since God unites husband and wife in marriage a marriage covenant cannot be broken (Matthew 19:6 &8). Therefore, when people divorce, they do not break the bond; they merely reject God who is the binding force. Furthermore, since the bond is never broken by divorce, anyone who divorces his spouse and remarries commits adultery. Similarly, anyone who marries a divorced person commits adultery (Luke 16:18).
The reality is, not all marriages are "made in heaven".
In other words, there are plenty of marriages where God was not even a part of the equation, much less part of the marriage.
Mark 10:9 says "Therefore what GOD has joined together, let no one separate."
Well, God doesn't bring every married couple together!
Plenty of people, even Christian people, don't give God a chance to lead them to the mate He selects for them. They just forge ahead and make their own choices, sometimes choosing very unwisely.
Bottom line is, when God has truly joined two people together, they are in a covenant with him and they need to take that very seriously. Otherwise, I don't think He's surprised when things end in divorce.
Covenantal marriages should not be broken, but where there was no covenant to begin with, there is not much to be faithful to from a religious point of view.
Because it points up precisely the sort of double standards, special pleading and rehearsing of prejudices I have seen recently. Specifically this one 'Well of course...their vows weren't sacred...why bother to get married at all?'
Last edited by TRANSPONDER; 05-31-2013 at 08:00 AM..
Therefore, when people divorce, they do not break the bond; they merely reject God who is the binding force. Furthermore, since the bond is never broken by divorce, anyone who divorces his spouse and remarries commits adultery. Similarly, anyone who marries a divorced person commits adultery (Luke 16:18).
You'll sing a different tune if your marriage doesn't last. But don't worry, you'll find a well worked out theology to justify that, too. The Bible can be made to say whatever you need it to say.
I prefer the bare-metal approach to life:
1) Most of us choose our first spouse when we are too arrogant, inexperienced, and hormone-crazed to make an even remotely intelligent choice.
2) It should surprise no one that such relationships tend not to last. Statistically, the odds are not in favor of you being married to the same person 50 years later, and even if you are, that says nothing about whether either of you enjoyed the experience.
3) In middle age, hope still triumphs over experience.
4) In old age, it's all over but the shouting and you cease to care, knowing both intellectually and experientially that special relationships do not solve all your personal problems and Make You Happy. You have long since gone within to sort that out.
It's not pretty, though it can be intermittently enjoyable and even transcendant. But it's the Real World (tm) and it's all we've got.
Because it points up precisely the sort of double standards, special pleading and rehearsing of prejudices I have seen recently. Specifically this one 'Well of course...their vows weren't sacred...why bother to get married at all?'
I could only watch about a minute because it's so silly.
I get your point, but truly only ignorant people would buy into any of that.
The word "sacred" usually implies a relationship with God or religion.
So I'm not sure why an atheist would be offended to be told their marriage is not "sacred"
Not to mention, I didn't see the word sacred used in this thread at all.
Plenty of atheists and non-Christians have very valid, committed marriages.
Again, they just don't have God in the midst of them so none of what our OP wrote about divorce means anything to them.
But as I pointed out, even some supposedly "Christian" marriages never involved God either. So if God didn't bring people to a marriage, it just seems unlikely to me that He is offended when such marriages break up. If he is offended at all, I would think it would be in the being left out of the process of deciding to marry
The reality is, not all marriages are "made in heaven".
In other words, there are plenty of marriages where God was not even a part of the equation, much less part of the marriage.
Mark 10:9 says "Therefore what GOD has joined together, let no one separate."
Well, God doesn't bring every married couple together!
Says who?
Quote:
Plenty of people, even Christian people, don't give God a chance to lead them to the mate He selects for them. They just forge ahead and make their own choices, sometimes choosing very unwisely.
Bottom line is, when God has truly joined two people together, they are in a covenant with him and they need to take that very seriously. Otherwise, I don't think He's surprised when things end in divorce.
Covenantal marriages should not be broken, but where there was no covenant to begin with, there is not much to be faithful to from a religious point of view.
So you think there is some sort of "pretend marriage" that isn't covenental?
There's nothing inherently wrong with divorce. Sometimes marriages go bad.
It only takes one person to decide that a marriage will end in divorce. The other pperson does not deserve to feel bad about the divorce.
People change throughout their lives. If they grow apart, they may be happier if they go their separate ways than if they stick it out because some outside influence think they should.
Af a matter of fact, in re: what Vizio said, I have heard some people refer to their first marriage as their "practice" or "trial" marriage.
It's not my business to decide if anybody's marriage is good or bad, so I don't judge other people's choices. If they want to have a "pretend marriage," that is none of my concern.
There's nothing inherently wrong with divorce. Sometimes marriages go bad.
Except that God hates it. Marriage is an illustration of God's relationship with his people. It's a big deal when we get divoreced.
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It only takes one person to decide that a marriage will end in divorce. The other pperson does not deserve to feel bad about the divorce.
If your spouse abandons you or cheats on you, it's not your fault--it's his/her fault.
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People change throughout their lives. If they grow apart, they may be happier if they go their separate ways than if they stick it out because some outside influence think they should.
So what?
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Af a matter of fact, in re: what Vizio said, I have heard some people refer to their first marriage as their "practice" or "trial" marriage.
It's not my business to decide if anybody's marriage is good or bad, so I don't judge other people's choices. If they want to have a "pretend marriage," that is none of my concern.
You seem to be suggesting that if they're not happy they can dissolve it. Who are you to say that?
You seem to be suggesting that if they're not happy they can dissolve it. Who are you to say that?
I am the first to admit that people can have a tendency to misdiagnose the sources of their unhappiness as emanating from their marriage -- and that loyalty and devotion and constancy are something we could use more of. And if I were in the position of counseling a couple with marital difficulties, my first impulse, as I'm sure your is, would be to try to help them work their issues out, as well as to help them understand that divorce brings its own pain, including its impact on children.
On the other hand, whatever claims you may want to make about god being a silent 3rd party in the relationship, or of some supernatural covenantal aspect, the facts on the ground are that two people get married by choice and the relationship by definition endures because of mutual consent. If one or both partners withdraws their consent, and is willing to go through the mechanisms society provides for dissolving the union, then the other party has little choice but to be divorced. And even if both decide to maintain the relationship, say, because of a religious taboo against divorce rather than because of an actual commitment, then believe me when I say that few things make life more of a vortex of futility than a dysfunctional relationship where one or both parties are closed off emotionally to the other and frittering away what's left of their short life. Beyond a certain point even children are more messed up by having a dysfunctional marriage modeled for them than by a divorce.
People like to decry divorce as a source of human misery but marriage can also be such a source, and like everything else in life, it ends up sometimes being a matter of the lesser of two evils.
My first wife was mentally ill and refused all treatment. Her diagnosis was dual: paranoid schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder. When she deteriorated to a certain point, my thinking was clarified one night when I woke up to find her standing over me with a butcher knife. I would hate to think that everyone would have to get to that point before you would advise them to get the heck out of Dodge.
The most direct impact of my divorce was twofold: my 14 year old daughter and 9 year old son felt safe again (I had sole custody) and my ex wife was given enough rope to hang herself, so to speak, rather than me enabling her. After a few months on her own, she was judged a danger to herself and others and taken into the bosom of the county mental health system. And given her attitude towards getting well, it was the best thing I ever did for her. Someone forced her meds on her and now she is at least gainfully employed. My children went on to grow into well adjusted young adults.
I stayed in a marriage that was unhealthy for all concerned in spite of the fact it was between two Christians and under the auspices of the church, for about 15 years, which was roughly 14.5 years too long. And I did it because of reasoning such as yours.
In life, as in all things, you gotta know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.
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