Quote:
Originally Posted by staywarm2
You make a VERY good point about not being able to easily replace your "old friends" from back home. But that's what we want--good friends who actually care about us, not just having a fun time. I wonder how to do that...
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That's how I feel. I have a good number of "fracquaintances"--somewhere between acquaintances and friends--to have lunch or dinner with, to go to an event once in a while, etc. And I have adult students to have coffee with but because of the formal relationship I don't talk about my personal life. I have found that I seem to come in and out of close friendships without any control over it. One "close friend" recently has taken to becoming distant. Perhaps it's because I presented an alternate viewpoint (gently) when she made some pointed stereotypical and rude comments about certain kinds of people as well as some other offensive comments. After all the personal talks we've had over the years, I had no idea she was so prejudiced or deeply opinionated about race, etc. So although I have considered her a close friend, I find myself backing off from the friendship--sadly, because I know too well how hard it is to develop really meaningful, true and close friendships. I'm trying to figure out how to replace this loss. Close friends, in contrast to fracquaintances, are there for you and you for them when any kind of special need arises, apart from having good times. "Fair weather" friends are much easier to come by.
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