Are you aging at the same pace as others your age? (community, anniversary)
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This isn't the first thread about this very subject.
I do think there are a lot of people who resent the aging process and want/need assurance that they still look 'good'.
If it takes up too much of your mental time or negatively affects your disposition and attitude for longer than a few seconds, it's probably not a positive thing.
Those few seconds exist for me and for longer than a few seconds sometimes.
I have considered surgery many times (always end up thinking it's too much money for such a thing)but it's not so much the wrinkles, lines, saggy spots.
It does bother me that I no longer look like me!
Many people you haven't seen in many, many years are still recognizable ...just an older version of themselves.
Not only others, but I can't see the me I knew for...oh...over 60 years when I see a photo or catch that unintentional view in a mirror or window.
I can ignore this most of the time but I can't say I've yet been able to accept it and certainly am not happy about it.
Maybe it's not just pride or ego but the sense of having lost...or losing...."yourself" ....and the urge to want to hold on to it.
I relate to what you wrote - 100%. Only I am afraid of the pain of surgery enough so that I can't imagine being brave enough to do it (even if I felt I had the discretionary funds for it).
Like you, it is not a matter of being critical of how others do or don't look . . . it is this whole thing of feeling I am losing something - my outward identity with the world. I have thought the same thing - that for 60 years I was never surprised when I looked in the mirror. The person looking back was ME, lol. Now I look in the mirror and think - I am no longer the "me" I always have known. I don't dwell on it, but I would be insincere if I didn't admit that I truly have those moments of "surprise" at the mirror - or when I see a candid shot of myself across the room. I often do a doubletake . . . that is how I look to others? Where the heck did that beginning of a double chin come from? OMG!!!!
I think my smile is still as warm and hopefully, that is what others recognized me by in years past.
As a young woman in my twenties, I worked in a clinic that gave executive physicals. At that time, most executives were male. I noticed not many men in their 40's were physically attractive, a few but they were rare. As far as the 50's and older, they were all unattractive and old looking.
Back in the day, those middle aged men were biologically older than many at a similar age are today. All the smoking the drinking (including the classic 3 Martini lunch) did 'em in.
A HS reunion is not such a good place to measure how you're doing aging. A HS reunion excludes those who have died, are disabled and don't travel etc, and those who probably look horrible and don't want to mix with the "bold and the beautiful". If you are still kicking up your heels, living working, active you're doing pretty good. Other than that, you're being a little obsesive. Its not a competition. There is a down side to living a long time. My FIL lived to 96 and was very active till 90. But it got kind of sad because all his friends were dead.
That's true to a point, however, at HS reunions I've been to, there have been plenty in attendance for whom time has been cruel. I know when my thought is "who are all these old people" that there is not all that much self exclusion going on.
Bingo! About seven years ago, two years before I retired, I was getting a haircut and at the end of it the barber brought out the hand mirror so I could see the back. But I also saw the top and realized that I'd soon either need a comb-over or less hair. I opted for the latter on the spot, thanked him for his work then told him to buzz me all over. He did and I've kept it up myself ever since. It may make me look older but such is life. At least I don't look like a fool. Besides, I save on barber bills!
I started out with the #3 then downward from there. The next step will be ... total removal.
In the last days of my father's life, we family members sat with him 24/7, even though he was unconscious. Once when I was there, a group of nurses were surrounding his bed, doing their tasks. One said to me, "It says on your father's chart that he's 80. He looks a LOT younger." The other nurses agreed, commenting on his nice hair, his good muscle tone, and his lack of wrinkles. For the first time in days, I laughed out loud. I told them, "If my father were awake I know EXACTLY what he would say to you: "Helluva lot of good it's doin' me!"
I had a close relative who was at the end of the hospice stage. Other than being in a coma he looked very young for his age and handsome. He was a life long health food nut and exercised a lot until the final year.
Self-absorbed? I don't think so. We're not our parent's generation of sun-worshipping, cocktail party circuit, high cholesterol diet seniors. We're more educated about our bodies and ways to keep them alive longer and more mobile. I don't see that as narcissistic (with some exceptions of course) or a bad thing. I can't begin to imagine why you do.
Have you looked a photos of this advanced society compared to past photos. I have and I saw very few obese people and certain rarely a fat kid in class photos. The fact is they eat better and certainly exercised more just living their lifes. If not for the miracles of modern medicine a lot fewer of us would be around now. Who knows the true long lasting effects of drugs and other chemicals we put into our systems .Reality
Nice photo, Robynn! it's interesting to see what other posters look like, and a great idea for something fun to do at a party. I like your smile.
Smile courtesy of dentist . Will probably need some renovation next year (after we finish our minor house renovations/redecorating - that was this year's job!).
I agree that it *was* a great party idea. Done in a professional studio with the photographer doing 15-20 shots of anyone who wanted to pose - shoot was like a "fashion shoot" - click-click-click-click. We got great pictures not only of us - but of family members too. I've realized that all the best pictures I have of me and my husband were taken by professional photographers at family weddings. If the photographer seemed good - we just asked him/her to take some shots of us alone. And said that if we liked them - we'd buy prints. We've gotten some good ones - but never one as good as that one (we liked it so much we had it blown up really big - framed it - and hung it on the wall). It's too bad the photographer at our family wedding in June seemed totally disorganized - I'm not sure she even managed to get all the obligatory wedding party shots.
BTW - the guy who took the picture is Don Chambers - Studio Chambers in Atlanta:
He's a well known photographer in the Atlanta area and I recommend him highly.
I've had a long time fantasy of being photographed by a truly famous photographer (the kind who can take a picture that captures your essence and your soul). Don't think it will ever come to pass - but who knows....
Well, my dear, you are not quite as adept at hiding your hostility as you seem to imagine.
Amusing. You've read hostility into a post, which only speaks of your suspicious view and/or assumptions of others, calling out someone who has accused posters in this thread silly for caring about appearance, provided links & commentary on celebs (if one doesn't care about appearance, why post pics & follow the gossip of celebs?), then posted a pic of she & her spouse, after stating not caring about her appearance or that none of us should, then bragging about them looking good for their age, looking natural & unairbrushed (I've missed something... does the average civilian have airbrushed pics ) & further stating her husband had gorgeous hair. Okay, we're all entitled to our opinions, but, I find the contradictions amusing & disingenuous. I asked if she were implying, as evident by her previous posts, that anyone she felt looked above average was less than the average looking people she seemed to appreciate, had lots of work done and/or spent $$$ & far too much time on appearance? What are people not understanding about my asking her to explain her critique of others, her own words in her previous posts & her assertions on her own appearance?
I'm being chastised for words I didn't say & being accused of being mean for asking why someone would enter a thread, calling posters silly (which is mean), then posting a pic of herself to prove what... that she doesn't care about how she looks? Post your pic, who cares... but, no one posts their pic because they think it's awful. I'm not understanding why people are upset... I only asked her why post a pic, if she felt appearance were so shallow, then comment on how good she looks in the pic, at her unairbrushed age. This is too funny. Do people not see the oddness & contradiction? Further, I asked why she'd enter into a thread, which she found silly, to post negative comments about posters' opinions, as a few other older women have done here, as well. Why? Leave it alone then & head over to another forum if you so strongly disagree with those talking about how they like to look youthful. Some people aren't comprehending what's being said here, but fair enough.
Quote:
Other posters can read our posts and make up their own minds.
We do have the ability to post pictures here. Here are me and my husband in a picture taken about 3 years ago. One of my nieces had a brilliant idea for a night before wedding event. She's a catalog photographer - and had a party where a photographer friend took professional pictures of wedding guests. Here's one of ours. Like I said - a professional took it - but we were not airbrushed . I think we're average looking people who look ok at our age (my husband's wonderful hair is courtesy of his genes - his father had similar hair until it all fell out after radiation therapy when he was about 83). Robyn
Great pic You both have a devilish twinkle in your eyes
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it's interesting to see what other posters look like, and a great idea for something fun to do at a party. I like your smile.
) & further stating her husband had gorgeous hair. Okay, we're all entitled to our opinions, but, I find the contradictions amusing & disingenuous. I asked if she were implying, as evident by her previous posts, that anyone she felt looked above average was less than the average looking people she seemed to appreciate, had lots of work done and/or spent $$$ & far too much time on appearance? What are people not understanding about my asking her to explain her critique of others, her own words in her previous posts & her assertions on her own appearance?
You both have a devilish twinkle in your eyes
