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I'm retired (SS retired, that is) and my wife is still working a full-time job. I take care of a lot of the cleaning duties in our apt., run errands and do other things (computer stuff). She doesn't have to think about doing laundry, loading/runnning/unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming or changing the bed.......I do that. I get up every morning the same time she does and watch some tv with her before she leaves. When she does leave, I walk out to the car with her, kiss her goodbye, say "I love you" and wave "goodbye" as she pulls away. If it's raining, I'm out there with an unbrella saying "goodbye" to her. She has told me a number of times that she loves working because sometimes she can get bored at home. I liked working, but not nearly like she does. On the weekends, unless we have something planned early in the AM, I will let her sleep in for a few hours. Even though she financially takes care of us more than I do, she loves how I take care of other things since I don't work.
So, if one of you works and the other is retired, does this affect your marriage? Do you ever get bored with being retired and think about going back to work? Does your spouse wish they could be retired?
I could have written that post, except. When she goes into the office (she also works at home with flexiplace) I get up and take her. "Is James on duty tomorrow?" she will ask. James is my middle name, so James is the chauffeur.
I also do laundry, dishes, cleaning, errands, etc.
Edit: It has not affected our marriage.
In my case retirement was thrust upon me because of illness. I have found I enjoy retirement, to a point. It can get boring, especially in winter.
She has finally had it with her job. A job she loved to do not that long ago has been trashed. The Feds are screwing with so much of what affects her and her employees that she's decided to leave before they really make a joke out of what they do, but that's for another thread. So January 1, 2012 she will be retired, take a month to decompress, and then we will start planning our travels to find where we will retire.
Do you ever get bored with being retired and think about going back to work?
Does your spouse wish they could be retired?
This reminded me of my folks.
Mom dearly wished that Dad had never retired.
For over thirty five years she had the house and her mornings to herself
and really grew to appreciate how much... **after* she had to share these things.
In a past post, you mentioned forcing your wife to get up out of bed on weekends by going to the front door and ringing the doorbell.
And now you are talking about how "you let her sleep in for a couple of hours on weekends" as if you are the dictator of sleep amounts and the enforcer of how long she is able to sleep.
If you want to have a good marriage, I would suggest letting her sleep until noon on weekends if she feels like it. It is not your place in life to enforce how long her body feels the need to recouperate and rest. Let your wife and her mind and her body determine how long she wishes to sleep on weekends so that she feels rested from work and from life.
It is not your place to force your timetable on your wife. And the fact that you see nothing wrong with stating that "you allow her to sleep in for a couple of hours on the weekends" illustrates an inappropriate mindset of what marriage is about in terms of dictating and enforcing.
In a past post, you mentioned forcing your wife to get up out of bed on weekends by going to the front door and ringing the doorbell.
And now you are talking about how "you let her sleep in for a couple of hours on weekends" as if you are the dictator of sleep amounts and the enforcer of how long she is able to sleep.
If you want to have a good marriage, I would suggest letting her sleep until noon on weekends if she feels like it. It is not your place in life to enforce how long her body feels the need to recouperate and rest. Let your wife and her mind and her body determine how long she wishes to sleep on weekends so that she feels rested from work and from life.
It is not your place to force your timetable on your wife. And the fact that you see nothing wrong with stating that "you allow her to sleep in for a couple of hours on the weekends" illustrates an inappropriate mindset of what marriage is about in terms of dictating and enforcing.
Wow. What an over-the-top post. Did it ever occur to you simply to mind your own business?
Geshhhhhhhh, one thing I want to say is......LIGHTEN UP!! Or, should I say......GIVE ME A BREAK!!:
My wife would lol reading what you wrote! She would say, "what the heck is she talking about using terms like dictating and enforcing??"
My wife knows that I tease her and she loves my personality. Perhaps you have a TOTAL serious marriage, but we sure don't want that! When I talk to some people about her, I actually refer to her as "the boss", whereas she will tell me ouright "you're the boss".
When we lived in Colorado, there were a few times that I got up at 8AM and she was still sleeping. I would teasingly go downstairs, open the front door oh so quietly, reach around the outside and ring the door bell a few times. If I didn't hear anything out of her, I do it again a couple of times. I would then hear, "Honey, would you please see who's there." I'd keep quiet and ring the bell again (once). I would then walk over to the side of the stairway and listen for her to say "Honey?" and then step in front of the stairway with a big smile on my face. She would look at me with a big smile on her face and say "you goofball" and "are you up?" and I'd say "yes" and she'd get up. She knew I was teasing/joking around!
Another thing I've done is pushed the button for the "test ring" on my cell phone. She thought we had a call coming in, until I turned around and looked at her with a smile and then she knew I was playing around.
Quote:
Originally Posted by susanra
In a past post, you mentioned forcing your wife to get up out of bed on weekends by going to the front door and ringing the doorbell.
And now you are talking about how "you let her sleep in for a couple of hours on weekends" as if you are the dictator of sleep amounts and the enforcer of how long she is able to sleep.
If you want to have a good marriage, I would suggest letting her sleep until noon on weekends if she feels like it. It is not your place in life to enforce how long her body feels the need to recouperate and rest. Let your wife and her mind and her body determine how long she wishes to sleep on weekends so that she feels rested from work and from life.
It is not your place to force your timetable on your wife. And the fact that you see nothing wrong with stating that "you allow her to sleep in for a couple of hours on the weekends" illustrates an inappropriate mindset of what marriage is about in terms of dictating and enforcing.
In a past post, you mentioned forcing your wife to get up out of bed on weekends by going to the front door and ringing the doorbell.
And now you are talking about how "you let her sleep in for a couple of hours on weekends" as if you are the dictator of sleep amounts and the enforcer of how long she is able to sleep.
If you want to have a good marriage, I would suggest letting her sleep until noon on weekends if she feels like it. It is not your place in life to enforce how long her body feels the need to recouperate and rest. Let your wife and her mind and her body determine how long she wishes to sleep on weekends so that she feels rested from work and from life.
It is not your place to force your timetable on your wife. And the fact that you see nothing wrong with stating that "you allow her to sleep in for a couple of hours on the weekends" illustrates an inappropriate mindset of what marriage is about in terms of dictating and enforcing.
Suddenly I forgot what I wanted to share with the OP. I am now afraid to post anything.
Wife and I both retired at age 62, some 7 years ago and retired to a new location. After about 2 years we both got a little bored and got part time jobs. One where we could easily control our time and days.
4 years later my wife said enough and re-retired. I kept working two, 6 hour days per week and an occasional additional 6 hour day if needed and it fit my schedule.
A year ago we moved to a smaller home, closer to family and I re-retired. Wife is not interested in any part time work. If the right part time thing came along I might would do it but I am not actively looking.
I say one has to have a reason to get up, get dressed, and go out without the other one at least a few times a week. I do it 2-3 days a week to play golf. Nice break from each other for each of us.
I say if you just sit around and do nothing...you will die faster......LOL
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