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Interesting question! Although I'm very happy with my life now, I thought about this question, and was surprised to find myself finding a lot of 'regrets.' I wish I hadn't married my ex-husband, although I love my resulting 2 kids. I pretty much raised them on my own. I wish I had done a different major and went to a different college. I wish I had learned about finance and invested over 30+ years ago. I wish I had spent less years pining over the 'love of my life' because I honored my vows, and stayed with man I married. (irony or karma, I'm not sure, when he left when baby girl was all of 6 months for someone else.)
I'm very glad that I bought my tiny house in CA before the bubble, and that I am frugal by nature. I'm glad I spared my joints in my child-raising years and got back in shape in my late 40's and probably is why I could take up running in my mid-50's with little pain. In retrospect, I appreciate the independence (no alimony and minimal child support) I learned for staying single while raising kids. I am now in a relationship with a wonderful man to share the rest of my life with, who shares my love of chickens, gaming, cycling, running and planning our move to AZ after I retire.
After I move, I hope I don't regret leaving good friends, family, and the only state I've lived in! BUT I've always wanted to live in the SW, and financially, it's a good move. We'll see!
I chose not to have children and was alright with that till lately, when I realized, that when the day arrives that I put my underwear on over my jeans...there is nobody that I can rely on to take care of me. Not a good thought.
My only real regret is not having more children. When we married we said we wanted two boys, we had two boys, then stopped. Now we wish we had had more children, whether boys or girls we wouldn't have cared.
Well, there also was this decision ca 1985: we bought our first Apple computer and I was enamored with it, convinced it was the future. Apple stock was $12-$15 a share, I considered buying 100 shares but got distracted by everyday concerns, kept putting it off, until I forgot about it (in those days, you had to go through a stockbroker and it was somewhat a hassle). Now it's $500+ a share.
I lived my life backward. In my twenties and early thirties I did the things I felt I wouldn't be physically capable of when I retired, hiking and backpacking. I really didn't become estabished in a career until my mid-forties. I have no regrets. I am 66 now and I know I could not tote a 50 pound back 8 miles a day. Glad I did it my way.
I chose not to have children and was alright with that till lately, when I realized, that when the day arrives that I put my underwear on over my jeans...there is nobody that I can rely on to take care of me. Not a good thought.
Having children is still no guarantee that there will be someone you can rely on to take care of you.
While most everyone has some regret, overall it seems people here are pretty satisfied.
Kind of puts the kibosh on all those negative articles about retirement.
Interesting comment, PAhippo. I think there are several aspects to this. First, so much journalism requires a "hook" to get people to read the article. That hook is often a bit of hyperbole in the title, such as the word "disaster". An "everything is fine" article is inherently boring, while a "sky is falling" article is more provocative. (Note I am not denying that there are, and will be structural problems with retirement in this country related to economics, employment patterns, and demographics. I am just saying the journalistic approach is often less than totally rational.)
Another aspect is the fact that we posters in this Retirement Forum represent a small sample of all retirees in the United States and therefore are not necessarily representative. Even posters here may be a bit reluctant to come into a thread like this and admit, "Hey, I really screwed up my life big time with bad choices". Those sorts of admissions are painful. Again, I am not claiming that the sampling of responses in your thread is necessarily skewed, just that we have to remain open to the possibility that it might be.
But I remain in agreement with you that it's nice to note that "people here" are pretty satisfied.
Another aspect is the fact that we posters in this Retirement Forum represent a small sample of all retirees in the United States and therefore are not necessarily representative. Even posters here may be a bit reluctant to come into a thread like this and admit, "Hey, I really screwed up my life big time with bad choices". Those sorts of admissions are painful. Again, I am not claiming that the sampling of responses in your thread is necessarily skewed, just that we have to remain open to the possibility that it might be.
But I remain in agreement with you that it's nice to note that "people here" are pretty satisfied.
Good points. Americans tend to be optimistic, imo. We tend to make the best of things, even in worst case scenarios. We accept our lives even when they turn out "less than." We know things could always be worse. While this is good, the back side is that we are also quite accepting of a lot of things that hurt us as a people (environmental destruction, corporatization of food, etc). This can be seen as passive. Perhaps we are still under the influence of our country's origin in this regard.
I regret what I did after high school, the college choice and major I took. My parents were not college grads, being children of the Great Depression. They never encouraged their own children to do anything special with their lives, didn't ever introduce us to cultural life or get involved in our studies or schools. They were unhappy parents trying to hang on to a middle class life, preoccupied with their troubles. Whatever I learned about anything worthwhile I learned on my own in high school. This lack of encouragement and support I accepted, but it led to my defining myself in a way that is considerably less than my potential, and my working years, though successful due to hard work, were rather misplaced.
My parents were a lot like yours except that my dad did go to college (first to do so on both sides of the family) and they weren't "unhappy". They didn't stress education, after high school, with us and if it was mentioned it was only "for the boys". The girls not so much because they'd "just get married and have kids anyway". My parents said so! lol I think the times we grew up in, and our family influences, resulted in a lot of our decisions. If I had it to do over you can bet I'd do things the way *I* wanted to when I was young rather than what my parents predicted for me. I did make it to college in my 30s and my parents were beyond proud of me. My dad even apologized, years later, for not supporting my desire to go to college. He always said that I didn't live up to MY potential but that is because I was too busy helping a husband live up to his all my life. And that came directly from my parents because that's exactly what my mom did all her life.
Would I do things differently if given the chance? Yes. However, I do NOT waste any of my time regretting anything either. Life is much to short to be doing that.
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