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We have a couple in our church married 63 years. He's 87, she's 84. Couple of months ago at coffee hour, he starts talking to us (group of women sitting at the table) about how he's so thankful they have viagra now because he needs sex and can't live without it. We were choking on our bagels, but I looked over at his wife who was talking to someone else, and hey, she always looks happy!
What a perv. Sure it might be funny cuz he is 80,00000 years old, but he is still a creepy perv.
What a perv. Sure it might be funny cuz he is 80,00000 years old, but he is still a creepy perv.
If this was out of character, there is a good chance that it could be health related. My cousin's SO has become outspoken about private matters and it is just one of many symptoms (while visiting them recently, I found a half tomato in the knife drawer; another symptom).
I once had a "ladies" doctor tell me she didn't know any women my age (I was 50ish at the time) who really cared about it any more. I guess she didn't read the posts around here!
I once had a "ladies" doctor tell me she didn't know any women my age (I was 50ish at the time) who really cared about it any more. I guess she didn't read the posts around here!
My impression is that "really cared" is a judgement call. She was also in a position of influence to set their expectations for menopause. BTW, I am understanding of the drop in interest that seems fairly common. I am far less understanding of being unwilling to even make an attempt at re-igniting interest. I was in for a visit to my doctor yesterday and she told me that she has a number of things she recommends to her female patients, some of which are medical and some are relationship therapy. Sometimes it doesn't help and I get that. Making a unilateral decision to not even try is very different.
... Making a unilateral decision to not even try is very different.
I agree. If the time comes that I am no longer interested, I will still make the effort. Maybe not as often, but it's just not something that should be decided by one partner. If there are issues that make it painful, there are new treatments for that. At least give them a try. If it's just lack of interest....well, I do a lot of things for my DH that I am not interested in (car shows, cooking his favorite dishes), and he does like wise (craft fairs, antiquing). It's a give and take thing. The most important part is that time after, while holding one another, oxytocin is released in the brain and it bonds you to one another. I think the lack of this bonding is what turns older couples into "roommates".
I once had a "ladies" doctor tell me she didn't know any women my age (I was 50ish at the time) who really cared about it any more. I guess she didn't read the posts around here!
Since I am just sitting around passing time, I went back to review the posts. There were 3 females that kind of implied they were into it. The rest seemed to be men speaking on behalf of their women. So....
I've said before maybe it is the partner not the act itself? Confession time, I saw a nice looking gentleman that had me do a double take. What is weird is that he resembles my roommate, but not as tall.
My roommate can be a pain sometimes - well most of the time, so no matter how nice looking he is, I don't even want him to talk to me - lol. I'm sure he feels the same way about me.
Since I am just sitting around passing time, I went back to review the posts. There were 3 females that kind of implied they were into it. The rest seemed to be men speaking on behalf of their women. So....
I've said before maybe it is the partner not the act itself? Confession time, I saw a nice looking gentleman that had me do a double take. What is weird is that he resembles my roommate, but not as tall.
My roommate can be a pain sometimes - well most of the time, so no matter how nice looking he is, I don't even want him to talk to me - lol. I'm sure he feels the same way about me.
This post makes me feel so sad for you both to live the rest of your lives in a loveless marriage. Could you two agree to separate in order that you both might move on to a happier future? Or try counseling if that is not possible? Even to become friends and companions again, if not lovers?
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