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I live alone, 61 and have many chronic illnesses. I have no family anymore and only one friend, who is hundreds of miles away. I need someone to give me a reason to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I feel guilty for all my doctor visits, because the government is paying to keep a person alive who has no loved ones and no one who cares about them. I have no interests in hobbies other than tv and the internet. I'm trying to give my dog away to someone because I can't afford to take good care of her anymore, can't afford the veterinary bills. I'm poor and have no prospects or money to move to a senior complex where there might be built in friends.
Can anyone give me a reason to keep going on like this? I'm not looking for pity! I am looking for answers. I've been in bed all day due to fecal incontinence and am going to doctors to try to take care of that but feel guilty and useless for doing so.
Oh and I do not go to church because I'm an agnostic. I stay home all the time due to not feeling good.
At your request, I wont pity you. I've read your other posts about how little your SS is, why you wont eat from food banks and your Section 8 housing issues. I'm sorry you're agnostic because, in your situation, church friends might be the best answer for you. You might also try looking for meetup groups or places that work with retirees but, to be honest, I'm sure you'll have a reason why that wont work for you.
There are many who are in even worse straits than you but they work on being happy and content with life -- or they work (and, yes, it is work) on finding ways to change what they dont like about their lives. They dont just disregard all advice with a reason why that advice wont work. And, yes, I've been in a much worse situation than you but I figured out how to better my life and did a lot of difficult work to do just that.
Call the suicide hotline
1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
They can put you in touch with local resources
No thanks. I know all my local mental health resources and I take full advantage of them, but counseling is out of the question for me. The suicide hot lines are for putting you in the hospital on a 72 hour hold only!
Last edited by heartfocus; 07-17-2015 at 05:01 PM..
I am not in your shoes. I imagine that if I were, I would keep going because I believe life is sacred and precious. I have a big "internal" life and if I were totally bedridden for life I'd still find so much of interest in this world —not only books, but art and music accessible online, on youtube etc....the world of idea, the world of the mind, and the intellect, and the ability to use that intellect, barring dementia of some kind. I'm not lecturing, just saying what I would do and at times have done.
I am not in your shoes. I imagine that if I were, I would keep going because I believe life is sacred and precious. I have a big "internal" life and if I were totally bedridden for life I'd still find so much of interest in this world —not only books, but art and music accessible online, on youtube etc....the world of idea, the world of the mind, and the intellect, and the ability to use that intellect, barring dementia of some kind. I'm not lecturing, just saying what I would do and at times have done.
Yes, I'm nearly bedridden, not completely yet. I do enjoy the internet and I love the truth, and YouTube lectures and debates. Not sure if that is enough to live for though. Just not sure. Actually, you've made a very good post and I greatly appreciate it. I never thought of it that way, but the world of the mind can be beautiful and inspiring. Thank you very much. However, I'm not much for "sacredness" of life. There is life and pondscum everywhere on this earth and it's way overcrowded.
The Unitarian Church (nope, not my faith) has some good social programs and people, and they seem to have agnostics in their midst (as opposed to Atheist's) who are looking for social church activities with decent people, but don't want a real doctrinaire or rigid/structured belief in church - that may be an option to consider for social needs.
Reading TFW46's post, I would suggest reconsidering about food banks (don't know if you qualify for food stamps, but that would also be worth checking into). A good diet (as in healthy, not as in lose weight) can be extremely helpful in addressing a lot of chronic illness type symptoms, so it may be worth relooking available food help. I suspect feeling physically better would likely make a world of difference in your outlook on life.
in addition to an internal life, as new england girl described, i would try to keep going for my animals. i have two cats, have always had animals- cats, dogs, since i've been an adult. i would not want them left without a home or with an uncertain future. i feel i have a commitment to them, to love and provide a home for them, as long as i'm able.
i don't know if you have pets, but having an animal companion can sometimes give one a reason to go on, when there seems to be no other reason.
catsy girl
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