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It's been about three weeks now and I think I found the key. I stopped thinking about the things he ought to be doing to help me and started finding ways I could take care of him, within my newly-restrained abilities.
Yes, as cliche as it sounds, the only thing that works is taking care of each other. Once he saw it wasn't a one-way street -- and that on days I was feeling relatively good I was pitching in as much as I could -- he joined in.
So glad you figured that out fluffy.
It's the best tactic for couples even if not in a care-giving situation.
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