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This is not the first time I have used the idea of another poster to start a new thread, so I freely admit I am plagiarizing. This other poster was dissatisfied with looking backward at how things used to be. To quote her: "Screw the past. Someone start one about the future. What will you do tomorrow to make yourself a better person. What will you do to help someone other than yourself?" So even the wording of my thread title is taken from that other post. But upon reflection I realized that indeed, it was a good idea for a thread even though I don't agree with the sentiment "screw the past".
So I'll go first, which is the prerogative of the original poster (even one with unoriginal ideas!).
I volunteer in two elementary schools and two middle schools. I conduct lunch-time chess activities at all four schools and read aloud to fifth grade classes at the two elementary schools.
I hope I am making myself a better person by not limiting myself to the minimum scope of reading aloud and providing the chess sets and a bit of instruction/coaching. By that I mean that I keep my eyes open for students who may be in pain. When almost all the kids have a friend, or a group of friends, with whom they eat lunch, and I notice one who eats alone, utterly alone, or who is utterly alone at recess and I notice this more than one week, I make some effort to speak to that child and help him learn to reach out. Perhaps I speak to the child's teacher. I may learn more from the teacher, or the teacher may learn from me about what is happening at recess and/or at lunch. Perhaps I may offer to teach the child to play chess, keeping in mind that such a thing should never be forced.
In one case, a boy had been home-schooled for the past three or four years in another country and was having trouble interacting with others. (Not claiming that is true for all home-schooled children). His younger brother was having the same difficulty. It has been gratifying to see their faces become happy faces instead of brooding, lonely faces over a few weeks time just because someone took the time to care about them and speak to them at some length.
The success of such efforts is never guaranteed, or I may not be around enough years even to know if there was any success. Albert Schweitzer wrote something which speaks to that possibility which is particularly the hope of people like school teachers, many of whom try to go the extra mile beyond just providing academic instruction. Here is the Albert Schweitzer quote:
"No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakens needs time to sprout and it is not always given to the sower to see the harvest. Everything which is worth doing is done on faith."
I think I will just get up around 11:00, cook a nice breakfast and eat with my wife. Then walk out back and take a nice swim. Then probably a nap before dinner, finishing my evening with a nice glass of Bourbon and a good cigar.
It works for me!
I am also trying to think of helping my friend who feels responsible for her mother (see thread) without being intrusive. Will have to ponder on that for awhile.
Thanks for starting this very positive thread, ER. And maybe everyone who contributes to this will be helping someone else, by modeling positive, forward-looking, beneficial to self or someone/something else behavior and attitude!
Not sure I will be helping someone else today, but I will be pushing myself a little today outside my comfort zone, which should be a growth experience. I invited a friend who I've compartmentalized as just a gym friend out to lunch and then to the salt spa (you sit in a room where salt is piped into the air and where the walls and floor are made of salt---supposedly good for respiration and skin. I just found it relaxing.)
What I did yesterday and will do both on Saturday and Sunday is to support the arts. I've been remiss in this in retirement, both to inertia and being cheap. But I find the arts so uplifting and adding something positive to life, something that's badly needed in today's world. Supporting jazz and classical public radio stations. Yesterday I went to a special film showing of Alvin Ailey Dance Theater. Tomorrow will be a new age/classical piano concert. Sunday will be a chamber music concert.
Even if one is not very able, the impetus can still be there. I think Florida Scott Maxwell's old age that she tried to survey and sum up in The Measure of My Days demonstrates that.
Quite a few years ago I started taking all the quotes I liked that I had collected, and I made them into booklets one for each month and a quote (or two) on each page. I usually start the day by opening to its page and reading the quote. Some, of course, no longer resonate with me, but there is one which always stops me when its day comes.
Basho was a Japanese writer of the 17th century who is famous for his haiku. In 1694, a few days before he died, he wrote:
I'll continue doing the simple things that make me happy. Collecting trash on walks I take, I always have bags for the dog so it's easy to do. Picking up the adverts thrown on the the neighbor's driveway when they are gone. Waving to anyone I see on foot, bike or car in the neighborhoods. Getting items on a grocery shelf for someone or reading the labels for those who can't. Not always waiting for someone to ask for help but being aware of when I can offer help. These and other things add up to a better life for me.
Trying to stay open and positive is so hard as I get older, cynicism can easily replace optimism. I'm fairly immune to panhandlers and people asking for money, I don't do it for many reasons. There are exceptions sometimes. This summer traveling back to IN and at a rest stop, we overheard a young guy on his phone saying he and his friend didn't have money for gas and didn't know what they were going to do. We gave him money before we left. We decided even if it was a con, he was such a good actor, he earned it. We were happy to discover our hearts haven't hardened and hopefully our arteries haven't either.
Small acts may lead to bigger ones, but if they don't, staying positive in an seemingly more negative world is enough right now.
Today I will smile and make pleasantries with everyone. For the most part, us New Englanders are grumpy. I will try to make a difference in someone's life by recognizing them and their efforts. I can't change the world but I can change myself and by doing so I can maybe bring change to the few people I meet today.
I have Mr. Schweitzer's quote on the wall next to my computer desk! And I spent my working life in public service so it comes naturally to me to want to make daily improvements to myself and my environment.
If a day or two goes by that I don't do this I drift toward the negative which isn't such a pleasant place to be. So I make it a priority to do each day at least one positive thing. Then when I am going to bed and reviewing my day there is something I can point to as a constructive act. Doesn't have to be earth-shaking - just something simple.
In some ways it is a self-centered act. Here's my line of thinking: Some day I could possibly be in a bed or wheelchair with myself for the rest of my life and now is the time to make sure that person has become as pleasant of a companion as possible.
My focus is the moment because I never know what tomorrow has in store for me. This keeps me from being the foot-dragger my lazy side leans to. All I have, or ever have had, is the moment and if I can make a difference it can only be now. It fugit, this tempus.
My dad used to hold up his index finger and pontificate with a wry grin, "He who hesitates is lost."
Edited to add: I know some of you have a running joke about aphorisms around here. May I have two points, please?
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