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Money seems to be a reason for regret? Mostly ladies? Well - it might be too late for you, but please tell your kids - ALWAYS, ALWAYS be in a position to be able to support yourself if something were to happen to your other half - divorce or worse death.
It's not just "money" though. I have money. It's the financial security we provided each other. The pesions, the house, the whole ball of wax that we built together. That's more than an individual can achieve in 99% of the cases.
ALWAYS, ALWAYS be in a position to be able to support yourself if something were to happen to your other half - divorce or worse death.
No truer words could be spoken!! I was suddenly widowed when I was age 44 and very thankful I had a good paying job that I could support myself on that also provided me health insurance and a pension.
Marriage is not always a walk in the park. With our 42nd anniversary coming up, I know that as well as anybody. But both of us are products of one-parent households (my dad died young in my case), and both are still aware of how difficult that can make life, financially and otherwise. We agreed long ago to stick with it, "for better or worse", and we have done so. Neither of us lives in fear of divorce; but then, neither of us are substance abusers (a big issue!).
Not so with my own brother, whose wife was just this side of alcoholic. He left her several times when younger, taking the kids with him. But he always went back, hopes high. In her 50s, she claimed she'd fallen in love with another man, and filed for divorce. She really took him to the cleaners. He lost the house, among other things, and rented for awhile. Now retired, he lives in his own place on our Maine property, and says that for the first time in his life, he feels secure.
Choosing divorce almost always means choosing a lower standard of living.
This does not address your question- but I would not be part of any marriage that included "particularly nasty argument" (s)
Really? How idealistic or naive are you that a marriage of 30+ years should be broken over a "particularly nasty argument"? ...nothing was said about there being a pattern of such.
Money seems to be a reason for regret? Mostly ladies? Well - it might be too late for you, but please tell your kids - ALWAYS, ALWAYS be in a position to be able to support yourself if something were to happen to your other half - divorce or worse death.
...very true...but that essentially means no more SAHMs....you can't maintain the skillset for a livable wage if you're out of the job market for 10+ years.
...very true...but that essentially means no more SAHMs....you can't maintain the skillset for a livable wage if you're out of the job market for 10+ years.
Maybe that is why women back in the day decided to get out of the house.
I read an interesting article about high powered women that decided to be SAHMs and then regretted it.
I've been on a local to me forum this morning and last night about medical insurance. Young women mostly whining about how expensive it is and they just can't afford it and will just pay the fine.
That is insane. And yeah, they proudly proclaim they are stay at home mommies. The one that started the thread just had her bread winning husband or whatever he is walk out on her. What kind of life is she looking forward to. I swear these ladies have 4 - 5 kids and no job skills.
For a while it was okay cuz we are kind of in the oil field of south texas and now that is going down the tubes. And the whining about that is epic also.
I told one to just take care of her health, exercise, eat right etc. What else can you do? Have to be pro-active. And they did not like that at all. No thought goes into their future.
Money seems to be a reason for regret? Mostly ladies? Well - it might be too late for you, but please tell your kids - ALWAYS, ALWAYS be in a position to be able to support yourself if something were to happen to your other half - divorce or worse death.
Early marriage, a working partner, college education, saving consistently and investing often, and no divorce are proven to promote wealth accumulation and happy retirement. Money does buy happiness upto a point and it is disingenuous to deny it is a factor to consider.
It's not just "money" though. I have money. It's the financial security we provided each other. The pesions, the house, the whole ball of wax that we built together. That's more than an individual can achieve in 99% of the cases.
Exactly. When my husband went through that period of wanting divorce I knew it was not his head but some kind of anxiety and fear that was working on him. I could not reach him and he does not, did not, belive in counseling. It was money and security, and also the history of our family, the happiness that was in our future, all that he was throwing away, not just for me but himself as well. In moments of anger when I wonder if we should have gone thru with the divorce I feel I would have done ok, but am not sure he would have. In a way I saved him from himself by refusing to divorce.
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