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While I'm 64 and not retired until January, I have always lived alone, not in a couple, and worked night shift with a couple of coworkers. A very quiet life and somewhat isolating.
I have always tried to have an apartment/home that was very aesthetically pleasing to me, and some sort of nature view outside- even just a tree when in the city. Once I had dogs and internet, I find it just fine to stay home. When I retire to my new retirement house in Colorado with the dogs, while I expect to go out for exercise (finally!) and am arranging volunteer work, I think I'll be quite happy to stay home a lot. The house will be very pretty, there will be a few trees and smaller mountains out the windows (have to take the trash out to see the big mountains!).
I have always thought I "should" want to travel but didn't overly enjoy the few passport trips I made. I find the logistics of air flight very wearing. I found myself only taking annual trips out West so finally decided to move there. Am visiting now for the last time, finalizing the house plans, meeting people about volunteering. I do get perkier around people but find I need a lot of non-people time afterward. I think this qualifies me as an introvert.
Even visiting, I have the same emotional low at dusk-time as I do when I'm working. It feels like a lonely time. I have never liked late afternoon-dusk. Once it's night, I feel better.
I would love to go out every day and eat in a restaurant. I love restaurants and I think I associate them either as being with people socially, or at least getting food better than I can make (which is most food). It's the only expensive taste I haven't managed to beat back, but I will certainly have to in retirement. As it is, I hardly go out every day! But would like to.
I stay home a lot. Several days in a row. I think I'm in a rut. For so many years I wanted to relocate but then one day faced reality that I could not afford it. I've been divorced 34+ years, told myself for a long time I was better off (happier?) being alone.
I turned 75 in April and feel like I'm sitting on a fence. In one aspect, I'm reasonably healthy, able to do things, dream of taking some road trips (I won't fly anymore). On the other side of the fence is older age, less ability, etc.
My life is boring right now. I'm home a lot, have TV on all the time (not always watching it, but it sort of keeps me company).
I have in the past few weeks/months realized how lonesome I am and would like to meet a man for companionship/relationship, but I do know he won't be knocking on my door. I have to go out and be present.
I have "forgotten" what interests me out there (or in here). I've had problems with my eyes (glaucoma, surgery, lots of eye doctor visits for problems) and while I do enjoy reading, have trouble reading for any length of time. My eye doc suggested audiobooks, but I like holding a book and getting lost in it.
My women friendships have fallen off. I do miss having a good female friend. But sometimes my limited income kept me from doing what they can do, so I don't get asked anymore. I also realize I don't relate to most of them since I do not have close relationships with my kids/grandkids/great-grandkids (the last two being in OK and out of touch due to my son going to prison (tho currently out)).
I love swimming but haven't been in years, mainly the lakes here have problems and people can't go in them; can't do pools because of all the chlorine; I used to walk a lot but have not in a long time. I did have a knee replacement that was a blessing and no pain problems anymore.
I don't go to church (I do strongly believe in God). Church is full of people who aren't what they claim to be. I do struggle, too, with trying to live what I think is a moral life while the rest of the world is living anything but.
I'm sure my flaws are quite obvious. I can be my own worst enemy.
I'm sorry to hear all this, NYgal. I miss having a good female friend too---haven't found one here yet. That's too bad about the lakes! Wow. I worry a bit about chlorine, but heck. Doesn't stop me from getting in the pool. I wouldn't avoid it for that reason. I'm glad you got your knee replacement so you can at least walk without pain.
I'd shrivel up and die without my books so I hope you can continue to read at least somewhat. Audio books are expensive, for one thing. Even my Kindle costs are adding up, now that there's no library.
Getting out and walking is good for so many reasons, cheers one up, usually. I hope you can get out there and do some more!
Take today, Sunday, as an example. Out to breakfast at about 11am then to Wally World for a few items. Not that I like Wally World but everything I want is under one roof ranging from rechargeable batteries to rib eye steaks.
This is why I go to them as well, but mostly because you don't need a loyalty card, rewards card, etc, everyone gets the same price AND I don't have to give them my email or phone number.
Mention was made about the travel "should I travel" and with me too, it's the wearing of it all just packing suitcase and getting to airport and then one knows what we go thru there. Since I unplugged cable, I can't go to NGO for my trips. While I had the cable for many years, I would so enjoy the programs on Alaska the Last Frontier. Maybe I'll get some decent channels once I get an antenna hookup and see what is there for me. No big deal anymore.
Many here are much younger and getting older makes everything harder to do.
On the parents/grandparents vacations, etc. These people lived thru and came out of the Great Depression...every penny counted. Brother can you lend me a dime.
I stay home a lot. Several days in a row. I think I'm in a rut. For so many years I wanted to relocate but then one day faced reality that I could not afford it. I've been divorced 34+ years, told myself for a long time I was better off (happier?) being alone.
I turned 75 in April and feel like I'm sitting on a fence. In one aspect, I'm reasonably healthy, able to do things, dream of taking some road trips (I won't fly anymore). On the other side of the fence is older age, less ability, etc.
My life is boring right now. I'm home a lot, have TV on all the time (not always watching it, but it sort of keeps me company).
I have in the past few weeks/months realized how lonesome I am and would like to meet a man for companionship/relationship, but I do know he won't be knocking on my door. I have to go out and be present.
I have "forgotten" what interests me out there (or in here). I've had problems with my eyes (glaucoma, surgery, lots of eye doctor visits for problems) and while I do enjoy reading, have trouble reading for any length of time. My eye doc suggested audiobooks, but I like holding a book and getting lost in it.
My women friendships have fallen off. I do miss having a good female friend. But sometimes my limited income kept me from doing what they can do, so I don't get asked anymore. I also realize I don't relate to most of them since I do not have close relationships with my kids/grandkids/great-grandkids (the last two being in OK and out of touch due to my son going to prison (tho currently out)).
I love swimming but haven't been in years, mainly the lakes here have problems and people can't go in them; can't do pools because of all the chlorine; I used to walk a lot but have not in a long time. I did have a knee replacement that was a blessing and no pain problems anymore.
I don't go to church (I do strongly believe in God). Church is full of people who aren't what they claim to be. I do struggle, too, with trying to live what I think is a moral life while the rest of the world is living anything but.
I'm sure my flaws are quite obvious. I can be my own worst enemy.
I understand not all Senior Centers are the same maybe there is one in your area that serves lunch and takes day trips? I'm thinking you could meet some folks at lunch and the day trips are usually more reasonable cost wise.Our local center offers many classes and fun things daily
I totally relate to having to hold the book rather than listening. Have you tried large print books? I like them as I can take my glasses off and read makes me feel young as haven't been able to do that since 2nd grade
Your library may offer things to do that would interest you? Or a local community college. It is hard to get up out of a rut but I have found when I do things usually quickly improve.
I am in my 50s, semi-retired, and travel a lot, still all over the US for work, and all over the world for fun. My plan has always been to spend all my money on travels by the age 75, and then have a quiet, minimally expensive life for the rest of my time (if I am still alive after 75) just staying home and reading books. I was a little concerned, though, that I may not be happy just being at home, particularly because the home in which I live now, and the one where I'll live after I sell this one, are both tiny studios. And this is how I discovered I actually like to stay at home. My home condo is in Boston MA, but in April 2013 I was about to go sailing in the French Polynesia, and I needed to get a mosquito spray for that at the Eastern Mountain outdoors supply store on Boylston St. When I got out, I realized it was actually Patriot's Day, and they were running the Marathon a few blocks from where I live. I was a bit annoyed that I had to go all the way around Copley Square because the traffic was rerouted, and I was just hoping that the store was open because I had to fly the next day. As I was making my way through the crowd, a loud explosion went off, then another one, a few blocks down the street. Then the police and army appeared, and started to push everyone into the side streets. I didn't see the carnage, was too far away, but it was nevertheless horrible. The police kept redirecting people because there was a rumor that there were bombs in the trashcans all over the place. An expected 20-min walk home turned iinto a 4.5 hour trek due to being constantly rerouted or held, among thousands of other scared, gloomy people. You cannot imagine the feeling of relief and safety at last when I got home. I never knew closing the door and turning the deadbolt could feel like accepting the greatest gift in life. It was so good to be home, inside my cozy little space between four walls. Once I learned to have that feeling in such a big way, now I have it all the time. I still travel, but it wouldn't be a big deal if I couldn't travel any more; My tiny home is just as meaningful, or more.
elnrgby: I cannot imagine how terrifying that was for you. We don't expect things like that here in our country. I am glad you stayed safe and felt the peace of locking that deadbolt once you got home.
I understand not all Senior Centers are the same maybe there is one in your area that serves lunch and takes day trips? I'm thinking you could meet some folks at lunch and the day trips are usually more reasonable cost wise.Our local center offers many classes and fun things daily
I totally relate to having to hold the book rather than listening. Have you tried large print books? I like them as I can take my glasses off and read makes me feel young as haven't been able to do that since 2nd grade
Your library may offer things to do that would interest you? Or a local community college. It is hard to get up out of a rut but I have found when I do things usually quickly improve.
Thank you for writing this.
I have forgotten about senior centers. I live in a senior complex but there are no senior activities here. But there is one not far from where I live.
The chlorine in pools gives me a very uncomfortable itchy nose. it is so bad I can't swim, I'm rubbing my nose all the time. So I am really not going to try that anytime soon again. The lakes get bad algae that cause them to be closed and no one allowed in to swim. I have gone into a friend's apartment pool that was perfect but the rent to live there is beyond my means.
I do try to read only the large print. I did subscribe to Readers Digest large print and have enjoyed that a lot. I can find books in the library or used book store with large print. I can't read without my glasses but I don't mind. I'm just happy I can read.
I think I've just really fallen into a deep rut. And it's hard to get out of it. I've always been able to in the past and believe I will again. But this time I'm not cleaning or straightening as I should and laundry gets put off till last minute. I keep saying if I had a washer/dryer in my apartment I would do it more often.
Regarding my financial dilemma, I am doing something that will allow me to see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's not a train!
I came to realize this afternoon how much I miss my kids (2). Both in their 50s. Very long story as to why we don't communicate. Don't really want to talk about it, I've already done that too much.
Another poster sent me a message re a spiritual speaker that she enjoys listening to and I will look him up and have a listen; but I also like Joyce Meyer a lot and do get a lot from her.
If you get kindle you can increase the font size. The kindle costs up front, but you can borrow from the library.
What about nose plugs when you go to pool?
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elnrgby: I cannot imagine how terrifying that was for you. We don't expect things like that here in our country. I am glad you stayed safe and felt the peace of locking that deadbolt once you got home.
Well, I have seen my share of horrible things, but that one will stand out in memory. It was good to have a safe place to be that night (and all four limbs still attached). I have had a whole new view of home sweet home since then.
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