Roommates of the opposite sex for $$$ benefits only (divorce, gay, move)
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OK so I didn't know what to call this. I am thinking of a retired man who finds a retired woman or vice versa and they decide a roommate situation is ok for them because of the financial benefits. That said, I mean platonic. No sex involved. Only splitting the bills, getting a better house, having some level of companionship, and having 2 SS incomes to play with, instead of only one. Would you do it? Where would you look for such a person? Online? There would not be any dating involved. Purely a " business" relationship. Instead of having the Golden Girls you could have a roommate arrangement, only it would be equal. No one would be in charge. Is this entirely out of the question because of all the problems it could involve? Or is it feasible?
LOL ( I am thinking of all ways to increase my income and have a nicer lifestyle)
OK so I didn't know what to call this. I am thinking of a retired man who finds a retired woman or vice versa and they decide a roommate situation is ok for them because of the financial benefits. That said, I mean platonic. No sex involved. Only splitting the bills, getting a better house, having some level of companionship, and having 2 SS incomes to play with, instead of only one. Would you do it? Where would you look for such a person? Online? There would not be any dating involved. Purely a " business" relationship. Instead of having the Golden Girls you could have a roommate arrangement, only it would be equal. No one would be in charge. Is this entirely out of the question because of all the problems it could involve? Or is it feasible?
LOL ( I am thinking of all ways to increase my income and have a nicer lifestyle)
I think that it would work. I wouldn't think of it increasing income. Think of it as you are decreasing your obligations.
It would be great. You can have someone chip in on half the bills. You would also have some companionship, and maybe a travel partner.
Just out of curiosity, why would it have to be of the opposite sex? Was there some special reason like having a male in the house, safety, security, handy man, etc?
I do know several people that got a roommate in retirement but they were of the same sex. And some of my former neighbors were single/divorced women and they had a large house and lived alone. They didn't want to sell the house so they started taking in female college students or recently graduated female students. It worked out really well for them. They were able to get a great income stream each month, they had social companionship and it was a win/win because these girls got FABULOUS houses to live in at a discounted rate vs. other apartment complexes.
I think it can get a bit cloudy sometimes if you have a roommate of the opposite sex. I'm not saying it would happen to you but one of my very close friend's mother did the arrangement that you are inquiring about. She had no intention of any romance but she started getting feelings for this gentleman that rented her basement. Well, this guy started dating again and his mother got very jealous and a bit unstable.
So if you do it, I think you have to really set ground rules and stick to them. Obviously, whoever owns the house will have more control. But don't just think about the upsides...think of the potential downsides as well.
If you did such a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, I'd say the best places to find someone like that will be from friends that you already know or their friends, church, volunteer organizations that you are involved with.
I know of several "couples" who are in this arrangement. Obviously, a high degree of decorum and good manners is required, but it does seem to work well for them.
The only issue I've heard from them is the mildly annoying hassle of convincing their respective dating partners that their cohabitation is strictly a platonic & mutually supportive financial/daily living arrangement.
One couple is hetro (M&F), one is hetro & gay (F&M) and the 3rd is gay (F&F). According to all participants, there is absolutely no personal/intimate relationship whatsoever. The arrangements evolved from existing acquaintances and the realization that two can live much more pleasantly & less costly than being solo, especially in a retirement situation.
The benefits are reportedly very attractive: cost sharing, personal security, mutual support regarding doctor/health matters, daily chores sustaining one versus two households, a known travel partner if desired - the list goes on and on.
It appears to me to be a very rational arrangement. I would venture to say that they have become quite good friends overall. I would certainly consider it were I not happily married. JMO
PS - 5 of these six individuals have been through at least one divorce and are adamant that they will never remarry. I should have been more explicit, 4 of these individuals were referred to one another by good friends who could vouch for them. None were off the street strangers.
Last edited by Pilgrim21784; 07-17-2013 at 11:18 AM..
Anything will work if the folks going into it make it work.
But finding someone to share that arrangement (you mentioned "online") would be the tough part. I would think the logical way to work it out would be with friends (or relatives) and it would be a naturally evolving situation.
I have done this - twice - back when I was in my 20s. I bought an old English tudor house here that had great bones but needed lots of TLC. I wasn't making much at the time and was too impatient to wait years & years to get this house in order so I had a guy I knew, no romantic involvement, move it. It was great. We didn't have any of the most common roommate issues. He graduated from the "U" and took a job elsewhere so he moved on. The next roommate was a female - nothing but trouble. Rent was late many months, once when she was holding 4 new pairs of shoes. The list of problems goes on. I finally asked her to leave - better to live extremely frugal than deal with this each month.
My next roommate was also a male - again - worked great. Then I met my future DH and my roommate decided to move elsewhere when we decide to get married.
I am thinking of a retired man who finds a retired woman or vice versa..
No one would be in charge.
Not unless they have some sort of existing successful history.
iow...not complete strangers and not on a 1:1 basis.
Quote:
Is this entirely out of the question...
No, but in this vein...
I'd suggest renting a room to a grad student or similarly busy younger person.
Someone you can rely on a bit to do the heavier jobs, perhaps engage with socially...
And VERY EMPHATICALLY have a known person in charge.
Lots of younger people do it and don't think twice about it.
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