The Pressure to Have an "Amazing" Retirement (55, communities, fighting)
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It's like being born and growing up and the obligatory 'mile markers' of life.
You know, like first boyfriend/girlfriend, first kiss, first date....yada-yada-yada, getting your driver's license, getting married, first baby and on and on it goes until one day you get the 'gold watch' and it's time to retire.
Wake up and do what you want to (or don't want to do) and make a plan...or don't.
Old cliché but somewhat worthy...this is your life, not a dress rehearsal. Try to relax, find the things you enjoy doing and take one day at a time.
Congratulations and best wishes whatever you do or don't do.
Guess that's another reason I have no desire to engage in social media. I honestly don't care what others (other than my close friends and family, and they'll share what they're doing with me when I talk to them or we visit in person) do for their retirement, or their lives, for that matter. And I certainly am not in competition with anyone, real or on Facebook, to live the most "amazing" whatever it is.
Well you are already on social media, here and you are engaging. You only see links on fb sites that you or your family follows /likes and Instagram you only see images of people you choose to follow. So unless someone is blindly liking every magazine or link that talks about active retirement one isn’t necessarily exposed to “amazing” retirement stories. I think it’s got to be pretty stressful or miserable trying to compete or feel yourself (not you but speaking in general) lacking.
But all those financial planning ads show all the cool stuff! Sailing, vinyards, golfing!
Tale of 2 retirements (both uncles, both wealthy):
#1 retired early 50's- Self employed. Sold a couple very successful businesses. Age now 64. Has a very nice retirement, plays golf at exclusive clubs, travels 2-3 times a year to Europe. Not a huge spender, lives on the ocean in a place he has owned for 20+ years. Very health conscious.
#2- retired at 60 from CEO position (one of the largest construction/engineering firms in the world). Worked there for almost 40 yrs. Built a huge house, built a yacht to travel the east coast/Carribean. Quickly realized the house/yacht were costing him 1mm+ a year to own yet he could only really use one at a time. Sold both shortly thereafter. Not real health conscious, would rather have a good time/life of the party kind of guy. Died very unexpectantly at 71 after spending a night in the hospital.
Two different ways to go.......one worked better than the other! Both great guys that experienced life at different paces.
I guess choosing not to have tv paid off and we’ve been spared all the ads phew! Even if we had seen the ads they wouldn’t seem to promote anything amazing since, sailing ( been there,done that) , vineyards (yawn) and golf don’t appeal to us one bit.
Of course what keeps us active,engaged and amazed wouldn’t necessarily appeal to others , but we are happy.
This thread really hits home for me. I retired at 46, and 5 years in could never do a 9-5, 6-3, whatever job again, EVER. Early retirement blogs are the worst; you better be active 24/7 traveling the world posting a never ending stream of hip selfies, showing off your phony 'cool life', full of well edited writings to seemingly elicit pangs of envy from the readers, and maximizing hits for $$$... I am the guy who does post how it is perfectly fine for me to watch the birds at my feeders sipping tea, sleep in if you like, and the joy of doing absolutely nothing, if you can re-frame your life from the busy, busy, I gotta constantly do something or I feel like a failure, or God forbid I get bored.
It amazes me how many folks will post that boredom is their greatest fear... C'mon man, this is YOUR time now, and for many $$$ is the least of their worries. Start off slow, embrace the situation of your new found freedom, and practice gratitude. Look inward if you really never have, and discover the 'B side' you never knew existed. You can always volunteer, walk around looking for something good to do for others, or simply look up at the night sky, and become lost in its quiet power, comforted by the grand feeling of your own insignificance. Good luck to us all.
Meh - if someone is making you feel low about your retirement, you may be letting them. They probably aren't doing it on purpose, and if they are, they can jump in a lake.
A couple we are friendly with, probably blow upwards of $100K a year on travel, and they go first class. (Not private-jet class, commercial first class). They are hardly ever home. They must be running out of high-end tours to take; they've seemingly been everywhere except Antarctica.
She posts many amazing, and also just plain quirky photos on FB [wacky public toilets in the Far East, for example, or another traveler's funny outfit]. Has an eye for what other people might find entertaining or amusing. Internet service is crummy in some of these locations, so she spends quite a bit of time waiting for her photos to upload - not everyone would be willing to go to that trouble.
We greatly enjoy looking at the photos, and our view is "Good for her - she's doing this so we don't have to."
I guess choosing not to have tv paid off and we’ve been spared all the ads phew! Even if we had seen the ads they wouldn’t seem to promote anything amazing since, sailing ( been there,done that) , vineyards (yawn) and golf don’t appeal to us one bit.
Of course what keeps us active,engaged and amazed wouldn’t necessarily appeal to others , but we are happy.
Yeah, none of that stuff appeals to me. I wouldn’t spend my money traveling to sunny beaches (hate sitting in the sun and getting sand up the wahzoo), wandering around vineyards (don’t drink) or golfing (boring, no offense to the golfers out there).
Those ads are meant to make people believe what they are supposed to do. It’s kind of like what they called “subliminal suggestion advertising” in the fifties only it’s not so subliminal any longer.
Well you are already on social media, here and you are engaging. You only see links on fb sites that you or your family follows /likes and Instagram you only see images of people you choose to follow. So unless someone is blindly liking every magazine or link that talks about active retirement one isn’t necessarily exposed to “amazing” retirement stories. I think it’s got to be pretty stressful or miserable trying to compete or feel yourself (not you but speaking in general) lacking.
Yeah, it's true that public forums are also social media, but I was thinking more like FB or Twitter, and so on. And there are people who paint a rosy picture of their own lives/retirement on public forums just as they do on FB, etc., but I've always taken it all with a large grain of salt, and wouldn't let it influence me one way or the other. I also agree with you that having to feel lacking, jealous, or somehow less of a person because one is comparing his/her life with another who's painting his own "amazing" life, be it bragging in real life in a group of people, posting on a public internet forum, or splattering pictures and superlative descriptions on FB, Twitter, Instagram or what have you, really is sad.
LOL, funny, guess I am so unversed in FB I don't even know how the thing works! And I don't care either.
otterbear - I am much older - 75. My retirement has been not full of adventure or travel . Retired at 62 because husband developed dementia. No retirement; just another responsibility. He passed last month. NOW I am retired. I could care less what people (including family) think of my choices. I am very happy "watching the birds" and going to lunch with the senior ladies group. I feel no pressure to even talk about my adventures. No one cares. I travel; I volunteer; I exercise; I give small parties; I do astronomy....bottom line is that I do all those things for ME and no one cares to hear about it. People who have to blog or brag are filling their needs to have someone validate their decisions. Don't let other people decide who you are!
Yeah, none of that stuff appeals to me. I wouldn’t spend my money traveling to sunny beaches (hate sitting in the sun and getting sand up the wahzoo), wandering around vineyards (don’t drink) or golfing (boring, no offense to the golfers out there).
Those ads are meant to make people believe what they are supposed to do. It’s kind of like what they called “subliminal suggestion advertising” in the fifties only it’s not so subliminal any longer.
That's true, I guess.
I also figure those ads are brought to you by investment firms peddling financial planning for retirement. Their message is that they can make those investing for their retirement lots of money, and those trips to the beach, travel all over the world, skydiving, enjoying the leisurely good life in lavish surroundings are expensive, so lots of money is needed (behooving
the viewer to jump on their investment bandwagon before it's too late).
I don't guess the message would be as effective if the ads showed retirees sitting at home watching TV and not going anywhere, or planning and getting to a restaurant in time to make the early bird special. Or engaging in community
volunteer activities, or other ordinary everyday activities that cost little or no money and carried out by us seniors.
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and you are engaging. You only see links on fb sites that you or your family follows /likes and Instagram you only see images of people you choose to follow. So unless someone is blindly liking every magazine or link that talks about active retirement one isn’t necessarily exposed to “amazing” retirement stories. I think it’s got to be pretty stressful or miserable trying to compete or feel yourself (not you but speaking in general) lacking.
