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These threads often go off-track but nevertheless - a well written and thoughtful article from the Guardian on older people without children being at greater risk of isolation, poor health and inability to access formal care. Written in the British context, its content is just as widely applicable to those in the US.
I would disagree about being "well written and thoughtful". Read the article this was taken from. The original was not a great scholarly work but at least there were some references to the claims and at least it appears to be original in wording, if not content. This Guardian article is just a paraphrased version that would be considered plagiarism had not the original been cited.
Thanks for your critique. I already said these threads go-off track. At least that part seems to be working... Don't like my characterization - fine! I'd prefer more posts that engaged with the topic and content.
I was just talking about this issue with my husband. We have adult kids but we have so many friends who do not. Even for friends who are still relatively "young" for our piers --still in their 50s-- there's this different view of the far horizon when you don't have kids.
As many have rightly stated before, having someone to "take care of you" when you're old is no reason to have kids. That would be pretty bad for the kids, for starters, and is also no guarantee the kids will be there for you when the time comes. I'm pretty sure the number of people who have kids primarily for that limited reason is vanishingly small.
Mostly this article made me more aware of the great gift the friendship of piers can be, especially to those without kids. It reminds me to, as long as I am able, make time for friends without spouses or kids and who may feel isolated as they get older, leave the workforce, etc.
It's beneficial to raise awareness of this issue, as the article you posted does, OP.
It's an important topic.
A while back, I read about United Kingdom's new special campaign to try to remedy social isolation and problems of older people, especially those without children, but all older people who find themselves somewhat isolated and/or alone.
...and yet, 99.99% of them will muddle through somehow and figure out ways to get everything done that really needs to be done.
Having said that, I do agree that it's good to plan, and to be smart about things such as making friends while you're still able to get out and about. And also, to check in on the older people that you know from time to time.
Planning, and maintaining a vibrant social network. Whether with friends who might be younger or more-abled, or with younger family members (siblings, nieces and nephews, etc) who you might rely on either because they are good caring people who love you, or because you pay them, at least nominally, for any care work or physical assistance with manual tasks you can't accomplish yourself. Many 55+ communities also have some sort of network of able-bodied who assist the non-able-bodied with tasks that are tricky for the elderly, and they have numerous social activities to alleviate loneliness.
For those with very low income, in many US states there are In Home Support Services (IHSS) paid for by the state if you have disabilities. There are also low income qualified housing with meals and activities. It's hard to be lonely when you eat dinner with 80 of your neighbors everyday, and all you have to do to find someone to talk to is to walk to the day room and sit next to someone. I suspect it's much more lonely for those determined to "age in place" in their homes. Meals on Wheels tries to meet this need, by providing a few minutes of companionship along with the nutrition, on a daily basis. The thing with loneliness is that for most the answer is within their grasp. To have a friend, you must BE a friend. Introduce yourself to the neighbors, the service people who work for you, etc. Get acquainted with the lady at the library, or the even people feeding pigeons in the park. Meet people for coffee at the diner or McD's. Of course use discernment to avoid weirdos and predators, but sitting at home alone is the real enemy.
One of my motivations in thinking about this is that my wife's mother (admittedly at an advanced age) is suffering from noticeable memory loss. While the medical diagnosis is still awaited, we would not be surprised if it were onset of dementia. It has taken a lot of work, persuasion and engagement from my wife and her sisters to get get their mother to an old age home ( a very nice and well run facility - Germany) where she has better support. Also, my wife was relating a story when she was visiting her mother in the old age home, she ran into an old man who was very confused and asked her to contact the police because he thought he had been abducted - obviously quite lost. Have heard other similar stories from friends.
While we are still fair distance from that time - it does concerns me. As a man, my life expectancy is shorter - and the thought of having proper support for my wife if she were to reach that stage without me being around and/or not able to support should she succumb to something similar is something we need to think about. Hence, the closing part of the article spoke to our concerns...
“The care system for those living with dementia is overly reliant on family care,” he said. “If you don’t have family to care for you, you’re left to fend for yourself, which means risking becoming very unwell. We need a special care and health system that recognises this demographic.”
PS: Both of us are immigrants to the US. Our families are on different continents...
Planning, and maintaining a vibrant social network. Whether with friends who might be younger or more-abled, or with younger family members (siblings, nieces and nephews, etc) who you might rely on either because they are good caring people who love you
The special campaign in United Kingdom is for older people who have not been able to "maintain a vibrant social network" and for the many who do not have "younger family members -(siblings, nieces and nephews, etc)" either existing or in their lives or who are at a geographic distance.
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