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My family is all over the world. We try to have a short family vacation every year, but it's been a few years since we were even able to pull that off. Too hard to synchronize vacation time, kids' and spouses' schedules, and the need to take care of very ill/dying family members. The only time we all get together nowadays are funerals, weddings, and things like that. We have family over for dinner when people visit the area, so that sort of counts. A family member living in Richmond is expecting a baby in September, so we'll probably have enough people gathered around that time to have a family dinner of sorts.
No more family duties for me after I moved 2000 from my family in 1978. My family got together only a few times a year to celebrate holidays with a big meal. My "family duty" was to do the washing up because I am such a bad cook. Everyone else brought a dish to go with the main course.
I cook up a dinner when all the kids are in town. And I alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, because of the grand's other grandma. Last year, I told DH I was not cooking a turkey dinner for the two of us, and I didn't. I think I roasted a chicken. This year I'll do Thanksgiving, but I am thinking strongly of announcing that this is my last year. One of my kids has helped in the past, but I don't know if that is in the cards this year. Thanksgiving is a real marathon. I've cooked it for decades now. It is time for me to give that duty up.
But the local kid with family does not have a good place to have guests, so I don't know what we'll do.
Maybe, I'll just assign food items for them to bring.
At Christmas everything is always in flux. I never know who will be around. I usually do some cooking then, but it is not as big deal as Thanksgiving is.
My grandparents are around 80 and changed up their way of doing family dinners about 10 years ago.
They used to cook a lot and host family dinners at their house (which isn't a very big house).
Between the fact that the family grew (all of us grandkids got married, now there are even a few great-grandbabies) and they don't really feel up to doing all of the cooking and hosting anymore -- although they are both VERY active for their age -- they changed things up.
Now, they rent out a space at their church. We do dinners potluck style now. They bring a couple of favorites that we would just miss too much (my granddaddy's appetizer meatballs, a couple of my grandma's homemade Christmas candies), but we all chip in and bring stuff. And we all handle the cleanup. (We all chipped in on cleanup at their house, too, but my grandma always insisted on helping. Now, she just sits back and lets us do it all...which is super easy at the church, with the industrial-sized trash cans, the outside dumpster, the commercial kitchen...)
It doesn't feel quite as "home-y" as it once did, but we do decorate a little bit, and overall, I think it's much better for my grandparents.
Im THE cook in the family. My father and FIL cant cook, unless its microwaved. My OH CAN cook, but has to follow recipe or instructions exactly.
Ive been cooking since i was 9, and have cooked in 4 start restaurants as chef and line cook.
But, im also handicapped and get around with a cane. My mother passed in 03, my MIL in 13.it was mostly for them that i cooked the big family's holiday dinners. But after doing TG and xmas in 14, i toldboth fathers no more. Its too much of a hassle.
We also have been invited since then to very close froends ( we are all considered family), so i dont have to cook the big dinners anymore. Im quite greatful to leave that to someone else for a change.
The fathers just have to celebrate with the microwaved dinbers and a short visit from us on our way to the "family"/friends.
I just cant physically do it amy more. Ive tried cutting back on dinner size, but i still end up wanting and doing the whole schmear.
Stoped doing big family get togethers for the holidays many years ago when my parents and in-laws passed.
We moved 1K miles away from our children, and see them every 1 1/2 years or so, one with family came to visit for school break, my wife broke her hump cleaning, cooking, serving, and cleaning up after the meals, kids and GK do nothing to help...useless. we both agreed not to invite them again, such a drain and so much work.
My MIL used to cook a family dinner on Sunday night until she went into an Aged Care facility when she was 86. But I do not replicate this as my help to my kids is some assistance with childcare. I have not fallen into the trap some friends have if being expected to provide dinner after having minded kids all day.
Christmas is the major Australian meal which is generally celebrated at home. We tend to rotate it between us, my adult kids and my sister. Many families do get together for Easter Sunday, many do not. We are getting together for my brother's birthday soon. As my grandkids will be involved and expensive restaurants are a complete and total waste of money for kids their age, we compromise. A quick meal at a local club and coffee and cake at my place, where some activity can be provided for the kids. Similarly, my birthday saw us go to a club near the beach where the kids had a play afterwards.
SIL had a traditional Easter lunch on Sunday but my gosh, what a lot of work. I won't be doing that any time soon. Fortunately my kids usually go away for Easter.
My grandparents are around 80 and changed up their way of doing family dinners about 10 years ago.
They used to cook a lot and host family dinners at their house (which isn't a very big house).
Between the fact that the family grew (all of us grandkids got married, now there are even a few great-grandbabies) and they don't really feel up to doing all of the cooking and hosting anymore -- although they are both VERY active for their age -- they changed things up.
Now, they rent out a space at their church. We do dinners potluck style now. They bring a couple of favorites that we would just miss too much (my granddaddy's appetizer meatballs, a couple of my grandma's homemade Christmas candies), but we all chip in and bring stuff. And we all handle the cleanup. (We all chipped in on cleanup at their house, too, but my grandma always insisted on helping. Now, she just sits back and lets us do it all...which is super easy at the church, with the industrial-sized trash cans, the outside dumpster, the commercial kitchen...)
It doesn't feel quite as "home-y" as it once did, but we do decorate a little bit, and overall, I think it's much better for my grandparents.
That's what the other set of grandparents have done. They used to do the big Christmas thing. One of my aunts has rented out a community center near where she leaves. There are just way too many great-grandchildren for the small house they live in to be viable.
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