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Some of my sedentary groups talk about health issues, others take the attitude of "no politics, no religion, no talking about your health." I don't mind other people talking about health issues, myself, although I can understand why rules like that come to exist. The one problem I have with health topics is there are invariably a few self proclaimed experts who think they know better than someone else's doctor. I've heard some bad advice given over the years, and plenty of people who get so carried away with showing off their "medical expertise" that I think they sometimes undermine someone else's progress. That's the biggest reason I like to keep away from groups that get carried away with the medical chit chat.
I imagine if you're doing outdoor things, there's not time for people to discuss their health problems, but chatting while knitting is a different situation. /quote]
My thoughts too. Book clubs, knitting groups, etc. are there for "the talking." People join those groups so they can connect with others and they want to sit and talk. Those types of activities lend themselves exactly to that. Naturally, superficial stuff is going to come up (oh my knee hurts, and stuff like that).
When you're involved in an active group such as hiking, cycling, etc. you join to do physical things with others so you don't have to hike or bike alone. Not much time for talking as you are concentrating on the physical activity.
Another good example, my writing group. We take turns choosing a topic and everyone writes about it in an essay or poem to share at the next meeting. This involves sitting but also using one's brain.
Often we will morph into discussing the topic or others once everyone has shared their writings. Sometimes the subject changes and any subject is fair game. That can include health issues once in awhile.
People simply do what they like to do. There's no right or wrong way to spend time if one is happy with the manner in which they are spending it.
I wish there was a happy medium between the active groups and the sedentary groups.
I find I'm getting stronger from doing all this yard work -- landscapers here want $500/month! -- but I still have a bum knee that limits the duration of activity. So the active group people would be frustrated with me if I attempted that. OTOH, I log almost 10,000 steps a day.
Tai chi looks like it might be an option, though.
I have bum knee, bum hip, bum shoulders, almost bum everything, lol. I use Tiger Balm to help with movement. Lately I don’t use it as much, but when I played pickleball last week and slightly twisted my ankle, I applied this stuff and I got better. This week I have no problem playing with pickleball. That plus tying my shoelaces a bit tighter is helpful.
Last edited by NewbieHere; 05-08-2019 at 10:51 AM..
I've noticed that we seem to be changing 'groups' as we grow older --- and still find that many of the folks in our groups seem to be 'older' than we feel. However, we are slowing down some - and getting closer in 'age' to our groups. I suspect we will soon reach an age/point where we feel like we fit right into our groups.
... Then, if we/they can stay alive long enough, we'll see how well we can maintain our contacts!
The same goes for city-data, by the way. When I was sick, I was posting here for hours at a time. Now I'm cutting back quite a bit because I need to spend more time at the gym. I might start popping in just every once in awhile to say hello. I'm sure you guys will understand. (And I'm glad I got a chance to explain, in case anyone starts wondering whatever happened to me, LOL.)
I think at least some of us understood you were ill and needed a distraction. These forums are good for that. And sometimes support comes from the most unexpected places.
I wish there was a happy medium between the active groups and the sedentary groups.
I find I'm getting stronger from doing all this yard work -- landscapers here want $500/month! -- but I still have a bum knee that limits the duration of activity. So the active group people would be frustrated with me if I attempted that. OTOH, I log almost 10,000 steps a day.
Tai chi looks like it might be an option, though.
Look at QiGong too. It's bit more strenuous than Tai Chi but has made me stronger. My legs are as strong as when I was still hiking in the mountains. I figure when that gets too hard, I will switch to Tai Chi for the duration.
You don't have to completely abandon your groups, just spend less time doing activities with them.
Maybe do the knitting circle once a month instead of every week. Tell the lunch group you have another activity at that time, but tell them you want to stay connected and ask if they might be interested in doing something else, such as seeing a play or something like that. Or, maybe invite them over to your house for a little get together.
I'm in a similar boat right now. Now that I'm done with cancer treatments, I'm trying to get back in shape and don't have the time for things such as my scrabble group. I still play from time to time, but I told them I needed to do the new activity for health reasons; they understood.
The same goes for city-data, by the way. When I was sick, I was posting here for hours at a time. Now I'm cutting back quite a bit because I need to spend more time at the gym. I might start popping in just every once in awhile to say hello. I'm sure you guys will understand. (And I'm glad I got a chance to explain, in case anyone starts wondering whatever happened to me, LOL.)
glad to hear your cancer treatments are over. I spent a year focused on getting back into shape healthwise after mine too. I\
To the op, unless the people in the groups are close friends I just don't feel it's emotionally healthy to subject yourself to people whose company you don't enjoy. You are not obligated to nurture their social life at the expense of your own.
You don't have to completely abandon your groups, just spend less time doing activities with them.
Maybe do the knitting circle once a month instead of every week. Tell the lunch group you have another activity at that time, but tell them you want to stay connected and ask if they might be interested in doing something else, such as seeing a play or something like that. Or, maybe invite them over to your house for a little get together.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek
I'm in a similar boat right now. Now that I'm done with cancer treatments, I'm trying to get back in shape and don't have the time for things such as my scrabble group. I still play from time to time, but I told them I needed to do the new activity for health reasons; they understood.
The same goes for city-data, by the way. When I was sick, I was posting here for hours at a time. Now I'm cutting back quite a bit because I need to spend more time at the gym. I might start popping in just every once in awhile to say hello. I'm sure you guys will understand. (And I'm glad I got a chance to explain, in case anyone starts wondering whatever happened to me, LOL.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat
I think at least some of us understood you were ill and needed a distraction. These forums are good for that. And sometimes support comes from the most unexpected places.
The above is one example of how to do it, playing out in real time.
In the example above, the group was told the individual needed to cut back. A brief explanation was given. (Brief is good. You don't need a long drawn out story.). The explanation was friendly ("I need to spend more time at the gym," not "you guys are so boring"). And as you can see, the response was that they understood.
OP, your situation has some differences, as all situations do, but odds are that's the response you'll get, too. The only time people might really object is if your leaving the group means a team can't play any more. And even then I think people are understanding. It's human nature.
Actually, I limited my hours at sitting down doing nothing like playing cards because inactivity is not healthy. I notice this group is less healthy than the active group. I’m not complaining about anybody complaining about health issues, that was not my point. I’m ok if they discuss any health issues. I’m glad they found a group that they feel comfortable to mention their health issues. It’s the inactivity that I mind, not their health issues.
Last edited by NewbieHere; 05-09-2019 at 08:15 AM..
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