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I realized it when my company was in the process of being acquired. The people living paycheck-to-paycheck panicked and found jobs elsewhere because they couldn't handle the risk of being unemployed. I looked at our numbers and decided we could weather 6 to 12 months of unemployment if it came to that, and decided to wait it out. I lasted 6 more years after the acquisition and they were good (and lucrative) years.
As others have said, I'm well aware that it's partly marketable skills, partly good decisions and partly luck or the grace of God, depending on your persuasion.
Living together, whether as a married couple, partners, or roommates, gives those with modest/moderate incomes (where everyone is bringing in an income) a huge boost in discretionary money since the housing/utilities portion is split multiple ways and the household income is multiplied. It's possible in a situation like that to live a much more affluent lifestyle than one living on the same income alone. Looking at them as if they are too poor to live alone might be a mistake. Maybe they're too SMART to live alone.
I learned in my thirties to give up on measuring myself according to how other people are doing. You know why? Because there is no way I will ever know how they really are doing. Do they worry? Are they regretful of missed chances? Are they filled with anger or always feel the wolf at the door no matter what they have? Do they lie awake at night thinking about whether they are worthy? I know for a fact that some people with a lot of material goods are still plagued with unhappiness.
To me the true marker of success is how I feel about myself and whether I have piece of mind.
I was in my fifties when I realized I needed to stop telling my life's story to myself in terms of the mistakes I made and learn to reframe it in terms of what I accomplished in spite of hinderances and my shortcomings. Instead of comparing myself to others I learned to compare myself to the self I was yesterday. Was I making progress in becoming a more contented and capable woman or was I regressing?
That's a much more fair measuring stick and one that put all the manageability directly within my ability to change. I recommend it as a method of achieving life satisfaction. I hope to say on my deathbed, "Hey, I did pretty good in spite of myself." Whoo hoo!
Have never cared to compare my finances to anyone else's. I have always worked a lot until retirement, chose to work a lot at a place with a pension on a shift that probably wrecked my health, and certainly saw others and friends who wouldn't do the same thing. I saw many women friends part of 2-person incomes and there is no way to compare that, and no reason.
I was smart in doing some hard things, and I was fortunate that some really bad things didn't line up with other doings so I never really hit a bottom. Smart and lucky.
I fail to understand why OP keeps posting on this forum, especially about finances. I mean, there are better financial forums for such discussions. I know in my 30s I would not have posted here, in fact, in my 30s-40s I was posting on an old usenet newsgroup for childfree people.
I personally think having or not having children is the kicker for financial advantage when younger but OP seems very interested in this group where most people are at least twice his age. Oh well.
I'm not where I want to be financially, however, my fear is being blind one day and having to be in Assisted Living and the fees are really high per month.
I don't think comparisons to other people are useful. I have been up and down in life. I was once down to my last $50. Another time I had a job, but literally no money. I had to borrow lunch money until payday. I have also been up a half a million dollars, and owned my home outright. Life happens. Things are going your way until they are not. Having an illness, having a loved one get sick, losing your job, and who knows what else. You might think you are rich today but you may be poor later. I knew a guy in college. He did well, and retired at 50. Then his mother got sick at 85. Dementia, Alzheimers, nursing homes. She lived to be 97. The cost of care and nursing home costs wiped him out. Now he gets by pet sitting and on social security. You can always find people doing better than you and people far worse. Be happy with what you have when you get older.
A bit OT, but people who run pawnshops are either criminals themselves or they rub elbows with criminals on a regular basis. I’d recommend you avoid bringing them into your life circle unless you want trouble.
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Disappointed in myself but for a different reason
