To sell the family house for condo or not (physically, emotionally, marriage)
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Keep in mind that with a condo you'll be sharing walls, so if Sammy Subwoofer moves in upstairs you'll be listening to his music whenever he does. If he owns the unit, you're screwed.
THIS
I've lived in condos, townhouses, and detached houses - no way I'd ever go back to having a shared wall with someone else - you're completely at the mercy of whoever lives there - even if it's a good situation when you first move in, that could change at any time.
Well first off thanks everyone, My concept of condo life seems different from reality. I knew there may be some noise issues here and there but I assummed HOA's would step in and handle situations of people playing loud music, barking dogs etc-.
The bad thing is I do love our neighborhood, I just hate the taxes (again over 10 grand a year) and the house is an older house (1938) so I view that its always going to need work, upkeep.
When we moved to the east coast (Philly area) from the midwest the housing stock did decline quite a bit in our price range. We ended up buying this older house which had a lot of issues that we didnt really want to deal with, but there were literally no other houses to chose so we bought this and figured we would do repairs in due time. I also figured with starting a second career that I would rapidly pay the house down so I could live mortgage free (even though tax bill would still be a burden). So every month I pay $5000 in total mortgage payments and by early 2027 the house will be paid in full. In general I originally felt that being in my early 50's that this wasnt a bad plan. Now I've kinda changed my tune, I dont do the hobbies I used to do, I dont like my new job and there isnt much else I can do to make similar money so I'm left with sucking it up and continue with not enjoying life to its fullest to keep wife happy (because of her love of the house) or keep trying to convince her to sell.
Sorry I know this was/is kind of a rant, all of your suggestions/thoughts really have helped as that a condo is off the table with the horror stories I've read
Go on a long vacation somewhere and get an Airbnb type place that is a condo similar to what you think you might like to buy. Give it a try for a month and then have a sit down and discuss. We sold our 4400 square foot house and bought a 1600 sq’ condo. It is in an amenity rich building with 24/7 Hotel features. I love it. I hate it, too. Most of my issues on the down side are dealing with our dog and sometimes parking issues. Can’t bring the dog to shared areas, so we rarely enjoy the lovely outdoor features. Love the service and location and all the amenities. I also kind of miss growing things in the garden. We don’t have noise issues and our building is commercial quality.
Wow, we have quite the opposite experience both with HOA’s and a townhome.
When we lived in our SFH in a very desirable community we did not have an HOA. Unfortunately, one of the neighbors decided to put on siding and ripped out all of the shingles. And ran out of money halfway through. And left it. What an eyesore. Thankfully I wasn’t in direct view but I had to pass it every day coming and going into the community. The town stated they could not get involved as it wasn’t a danger to anyone
Another time, another SFH a neighbor down the street painted their house a bright blue. Yikes...
What about the neighbor that rented his house to college kids. Cars parked all over, loud parties every weekend and beer cans and bottles thrown in people’s yards. And this was in a pretty desirable neighborhood.
Eventually we moved to a SFH community that had an HOA. Loved it. No more headaches.
Then we retired to a townhome. I have never heard any neighbor at all. And no one in the community complains about hearing anyone. Perhaps the quality of the building material used? Yes, they do tell us what we can have in our yards but they’re pretty fair. All in all we love it and it seems that most in this development are very happy here.
Sounds like you want to move and she doesn't, so I'm not sure what compromise can be reached; one gets what he/she doesn't, and the other doesn't.
Having sold "the family mansion" and lived to regret it, I will say that there's only ONE family home; once it's gone, you can never get it back or get another.
Are there more compelling reasons for selling than a good school district you'll never use? Is it age-in-place friendly or can it reasonably be made so?
Is there some way you could move but still keep it? Rent it out or perhaps have a family member buy it from you (you could at least keep it in the family and visit)?
We have only owned the house 5 years but we did a complete remodel doing most of the work ourselves so she has attachment for that reason: I dont as that I just see more future projects at a time I want to enjoy hobbies (skiing/mountain biking) at a time that my joints can still handle them.
I had thought that the only outdoor space we would need would be a small patio where I could install cat runs (catio) so our guys could go outside safely. I'm not sure how restrictive HOA's are in regards to doing these things on your own patio.
Even though we have very occasional loud gatherings (we like family karaoke) in general I wouldnt be happy with hearing others music and such on a regular basis.
In a perfect world I would get a "Condo alternative" type new house that is cheaper and wouldnt need work for 20 years but in the Philly area there arent many of these.
Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere
Sounds like you want to move and she doesn't, so I'm not sure what compromise can be reached; one gets what he/she doesn't, and the other doesn't.
Having sold "the family mansion" and lived to regret it, I will say that there's only ONE family home; once it's gone, you can never get it back or get another.
Are there more compelling reasons for selling than a good school district you'll never use? Is it age-in-place friendly or can it reasonably be made so?
Is there some way you could move but still keep it? Rent it out or perhaps have a family member buy it from you (you could at least keep it in the family and visit)?
lpranger467....I understand some of your dilemma. I'll echo the general comments from others about Condo living in general, without consideration to finances, and who wins the argument between you and your wife.
As a new widower, I moved from a SFH in Ambler (near you), to Folsom CA. Foremost on my mind: to scale down, or not? Perhaps a Condo? I suppose moving this far across the country dictates scaling down of some kind. I had the same reservations about noise and privacy. I took the leap and bought a Condo here and I could not be happier. Ironically, the square footage is much more than our SFH in Ambler, though I did lose the large back yard.
My condo was built in 2007, has thick walls, hardwood floors, can't hear a peep from any neighbors whatsoever. It is a two-story so no one above, and features nature walking trails outside my front door. I love it here (OK, other than the fires, taxes, and the nutty politics). In Ambler, my neighbors were loud and while the neighborhood was upscale, it didn't mean it was always quiet or clean. Not so with my condo: HOA fees of $220 are worth it, to not have to maintain a lawn, plus other typical outside maintenance. Well worth it. Full size, 2-car garage that many houses don't have. So each condo will be different, perhaps based on price, age/quality of the construction, and location. You could end up with something less desirable, or something surprisingly different. Don't get too hung up on HOA rules, but do try to learn about them (and the HOA insurance policy) before you make a decision. The rules vary widely. Best of luck to you.
Now I've kinda changed my tune, I dont do the hobbies I used to do, I dont like my new job and there isnt much else I can do to make similar money so I'm left with sucking it up and continue with not enjoying life to its fullest to keep wife happy (because of her love of the house) or keep trying to convince her to sell.
Have you leveled with her about how you feel now? Come clean and put your cards on the table? Because if my spouse was miserable I couldn't ignore that.
Thanks very much and sorry for your loss. One of my fears is that if something were to happen to me that my wife would be stuck with the house that I view as a money pit, but on the flip side I think she sees the memories of us remodeling it together, even though frankly to me the remodel was a nighmare.
My wife is originally from California and we had thought about looking out there but the prices have outpaced income so badly I think were going to have to stay put around Philly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jjohnohara
lpranger467....I understand some of your dilemma. I'll echo the general comments from others about Condo living in general, without consideration to finances, and who wins the argument between you and your wife.
As a new widower, I moved from a SFH in Ambler (near you), to Folsom CA. Foremost on my mind: to scale down, or not? Perhaps a Condo? I suppose moving this far across the country dictates scaling down of some kind. I had the same reservations about noise and privacy. I took the leap and bought a Condo here and I could not be happier. Ironically, the square footage is much more than our SFH in Ambler, though I did lose the large back yard.
My condo was built in 2007, has thick walls, hardwood floors, can't hear a peep from any neighbors whatsoever. It is a two-story so no one above, and features nature walking trails outside my front door. I love it here (OK, other than the fires, taxes, and the nutty politics). In Ambler, my neighbors were loud and while the neighborhood was upscale, it didn't mean it was always quiet or clean. Not so with my condo: HOA fees of $220 are worth it, to not have to maintain a lawn, plus other typical outside maintenance. Well worth it. Full size, 2-car garage that many houses don't have. So each condo will be different, perhaps based on price, age/quality of the construction, and location. You could end up with something less desirable, or something surprisingly different. Don't get too hung up on HOA rules, but do try to learn about them (and the HOA insurance policy) before you make a decision. The rules vary widely. Best of luck to you.
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