To sell the family house for condo or not (relocate, separate, vacation)
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Ya, sure did and her compromise is that she would agree to moving out of country (like Costa Rica) and if not she wants to stay put. She likes the house for the parties we throw maybe twice a year, for me its more of a headache than its worth
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat
Have you leveled with her about how you feel now? Come clean and put your cards on the table? Because if my spouse was miserable I couldn't ignore that.
We love our condo, but one big drawback for me is that we cannot have whole house generators. We have gone through periods of up to one week without power and don’t want to do that again.
Ya, sure did and her compromise is that she would agree to moving out of country (like Costa Rica) and if not she wants to stay put. She likes the house for the parties we throw maybe twice a year, for me its more of a headache than its worth
If you die, your wife will cope. She will do what she has to do. A person has no choice about it. My DH died last year. I may sell the farm eventually, but in the meantime I have my list of everything that needs doing and I am hiring people for what I can't do. I have the luxury of not being forced to sell because of finances, but if I couldn't afford it I would sell it because there would be no choice.
I don't know if you have been honest with your wife about how much you want something that costs less. If you feel it's killing you physically or even emotionally you need to tell her. I don't see a condo as desirable. It's apartment life. You said you moved to this area for your wife's job. How long does she plan on working? Can she get a job elsewhere?
Maybe come up with some alternative choices besides a condo. A different state with a lower cost of living. A smaller house. Her getting a second job. :-) if she's the practical sort perhaps a session with a financial planner. Marriage counseling. I don't blame her for not wanting to live in a condo, but perhaps there could be a compromise on a different house. Your feelings should count for something, too.
We have only owned the house 5 years but we did a complete remodel doing most of the work ourselves so she has attachment for that reason: I dont as that I just see more future projects at a time I want to enjoy hobbies (skiing/mountain biking) at a time that my joints can still handle them.
I had thought that the only outdoor space we would need would be a small patio where I could install cat runs (catio) so our guys could go outside safely. I'm not sure how restrictive HOA's are in regards to doing these things on your own patio.
Even though we have very occasional loud gatherings (we like family karaoke) in general I wouldnt be happy with hearing others music and such on a regular basis.
In a perfect world I would get a "Condo alternative" type new house that is cheaper and wouldnt need work for 20 years but in the Philly area there arent many of these.
I was under the impression she had raised the kids there.
We did the same to our last house. It took me months to find a place to move to. I looked in 5 counties, there wasn't anything tying us to where we lived. As long as it was a reasonable distance for hub to commute, he was ok with it.
Each house I looked at was more expensive then what we were selling, yet they needed just as much work as what we had already done. We had the living room and master that had wood paneling, one wall of the living room was brick. Hub had already done the long hallway. We had updated the main bathroom. All that was left was the kitchen if someone didn't like the honey oak cabinets. They were a really good quality.
I switched to looking at new houses farther away because we could get more for our money. Unfortunately I'm in the same situation as you with high taxes. They're about $13,000. My hub will be 63, we're going to be looking to down size and find cheaper taxes so that we can manage better because the taxes kill us. I'd like to stay where we are, just find a cheaper house. Taxes won't be anywhere as much because this house was new and a lot of money.
You really need to have a sit down with your wife, tell her you just can't do it any more but you're willing to stay in town, just find something cheaper. If she likes the area, this would be a good compromise between the 2 of you. She can't expect you to continue to kill yourself working for a house larger then what you need.
I liked the suggestion to make the list of positives and negatives, one especially with all of the bills with taxes, insurance and utilities to show how much money it costs to live there, especially if she's not the one paying the bills. She probably has no clue. Down sizing should cut your utilities as long as you don't get a house will really high ceilings.
You can also tell her that you 2 could make the next, smaller house home by doing work. Tell her she'll get to decorate the new place, buying new curtains because chances are what you have won't work in the next place.
I liked the idea of looking at an HOA development and asking for their rules to see what kind of HOA there will be in a single house community.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas
Go on a long vacation somewhere and get an Airbnb type place that is a condo similar to what you think you might like to buy. Give it a try for a month and then have a sit down and discuss. We sold our 4400 square foot house and bought a 1600 sq’ condo. It is in an amenity rich building with 24/7 Hotel features. I love it. I hate it, too. Most of my issues on the down side are dealing with our dog and sometimes parking issues. Can’t bring the dog to shared areas, so we rarely enjoy the lovely outdoor features. Love the service and location and all the amenities. I also kind of miss growing things in the garden. We don’t have noise issues and our building is commercial quality.
That's the site I couldn't remember yesterday for the OP to rent something if they do sell the house without having another lined up. Very easy to rent something with airbnb.
Sounds like your HOA doesn't allow a veggie garden.
Someone made the suggestion that OP looks to find an HOA community then asks for their HOA rules. I think that's a good idea so that OP will be able to know what kind of things get limited because there are good HOA's and there are bad ones where they're trying to control your every move, even in your own back yard where people wouldn't be able to see it. The OP has an out door cat house, they would have to inquire if it would be allowed if it's not written in the current rules.
the housing market is so hot that any cheaper houses usually have side deal offers before theyre ever seen publically.
This is probably irrelevant in your situation but someone could look for well maintained smaller homes in an area you like ideally with bikes in the driveway/ play equipment. Write them a letter and describe your house. Don't give the exact address. It may be hard to get in front of the flippers but if you can offer a trade towards a better school district that could be an incentive. Not even trade of course.
I do go back and forth about not paying house off early as a compromise, right now our mortgage is about $2450 but I send in $5000 to pay it off by 2027. But I do have a $400,000 life insurance policy that is good until 2035 so I suppose as long as its paid off by then I'd be ok.
Also I could see a financial planner maybe helping, but a marriage one no, we are solid as a rock she is just stubborn
Quote:
Originally Posted by E-Twist
If you die, your wife will cope. She will do what she has to do. A person has no choice about it. My DH died last year. I may sell the farm eventually, but in the meantime I have my list of everything that needs doing and I am hiring people for what I can't do. I have the luxury of not being forced to sell because of finances, but if I couldn't afford it I would sell it because there would be no choice.
I don't know if you have been honest with your wife about how much you want something that costs less. If you feel it's killing you physically or even emotionally you need to tell her. I don't see a condo as desirable. It's apartment life. You said you moved to this area for your wife's job. How long does she plan on working? Can she get a job elsewhere?
Maybe come up with some alternative choices besides a condo. A different state with a lower cost of living. A smaller house. Her getting a second job. :-) if she's the practical sort perhaps a session with a financial planner. Marriage counseling. I don't blame her for not wanting to live in a condo, but perhaps there could be a compromise on a different house. Your feelings should count for something, too.
I almost had her convinced to move to Idaho, or eastern Washington state for lower taxes but then 2 of our 3 kids got jobs along the eastern seaboard so were not leaving the general area now. Your 13,000 bill makes me feel lucky.
We dumped a lot of money into fixing this place, in hindsight I should have just torn it down and rebuilt so atleast we'd have a new expensive place
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr
I was under the impression she had raised the kids there.
We did the same to our last house. It took me months to find a place to move to. I looked in 5 counties, there wasn't anything tying us to where we lived. As long as it was a reasonable distance for hub to commute, he was ok with it.
Each house I looked at was more expensive then what we were selling, yet they needed just as much work as what we had already done. We had the living room and master that had wood paneling, one wall of the living room was brick. Hub had already done the long hallway. We had updated the main bathroom. All that was left was the kitchen if someone didn't like the honey oak cabinets. They were a really good quality.
I switched to looking at new houses farther away because we could get more for our money. Unfortunately I'm in the same situation as you with high taxes. They're about $13,000. My hub will be 63, we're going to be looking to down size and find cheaper taxes so that we can manage better because the taxes kill us. I'd like to stay where we are, just find a cheaper house. Taxes won't be anywhere as much because this house was new and a lot of money.
You really need to have a sit down with your wife, tell her you just can't do it any more but you're willing to stay in town, just find something cheaper. If she likes the area, this would be a good compromise between the 2 of you. She can't expect you to continue to kill yourself working for a house larger then what you need.
I liked the suggestion to make the list of positives and negatives, one especially with all of the bills with taxes, insurance and utilities to show how much money it costs to live there, especially if she's not the one paying the bills. She probably has no clue. Down sizing should cut your utilities as long as you don't get a house will really high ceilings.
You can also tell her that you 2 could make the next, smaller house home by doing work. Tell her she'll get to decorate the new place, buying new curtains because chances are what you have won't work in the next place.
I liked the idea of looking at an HOA development and asking for their rules to see what kind of HOA there will be in a single house community.
That's the site I couldn't remember yesterday for the OP to rent something if they do sell the house without having another lined up. Very easy to rent something with airbnb.
Sounds like your HOA doesn't allow a veggie garden.
Someone made the suggestion that OP looks to find an HOA community then asks for their HOA rules. I think that's a good idea so that OP will be able to know what kind of things get limited because there are good HOA's and there are bad ones where they're trying to control your every move, even in your own back yard where people wouldn't be able to see it. The OP has an out door cat house, they would have to inquire if it would be allowed if it's not written in the current rules.
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