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My dear mom passed two weeks ago, and I have very little knowledge of what I have to do as executor. My dad is still alive, so I assume anything in both of their names (mostly bank accounts and their house) needs nothing done at this time, except maybe removing Mom's name?
I've seen some great lists of executor duties online, but they seem to be for when assets are going to heirs (such as, after both parents have passed).
I live about 5 hours away from my parents (different state). Dad is no longer living in his house, so I want to sell it, as well as take care of anything else legally required of me.
I hate that this feels so complicated at a time that I'm already dealing with grief. Any suggestions at all? Good websites?
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Get a good trusts and estates lawyer and a good accountant who handles estate accounting. They can guide you. I'm in a very similar situation and they've helped tremendously.
Definitely find an estate attorney - in the state your mother died in, if different from where you live.
I was the executor for my childless aunt's estate, and while there were many things I could do such as notify Social Security, pay bills, make funeral arrangements, list her house for sale, etc., there were financial matters such as final income taxes and estate taxes to pay (she died before the exclusion was raised) that the attorney was able to take care of for me. And since your father is still living, your situation is a bit more complicated than mine was.
My dear mom passed two weeks ago, and I have very little knowledge of what I have to do as executor. My dad is still alive, so I assume anything in both of their names (mostly bank accounts and their house) needs nothing done at this time, except maybe removing Mom's name?
I've seen some great lists of executor duties online, but they seem to be for when assets are going to heirs (such as, after both parents have passed).
I live about 5 hours away from my parents (different state). Dad is no longer living in his house, so I want to sell it, as well as take care of anything else legally required of me.
I hate that this feels so complicated at a time that I'm already dealing with grief. Any suggestions at all? Good websites?
Is the lawyer who prepared your parent's will still alive? Have you tried to contact their office? Also, have you filed the will with the local probate court? That's your first legal step in settling the estate.
Gemini1963 - since you're an attorney can I ask - am I able to speak to an attorney regarding my parent's trust or will they only speak to my parents? My parents trust is very old and I fear it may be obsolete so I would like an attorney to take a look at it and just let me know whether or not it is still valid - and/or what would need to be done to make it current and legally valid.
My parents are hesitant to go to an attorney because they think that attorneys will just want their money to create a new trust. I fully and completely understand that I cannot do anything with the trust myself and it is entirely up to my parents to update it or not - but if I could show it to an attorney I could at least explain to my parents why they need to update it (or not, whatever the case may be.) and let them make an informed decision.
Personally, I’d be more concerned about the father not living in the house. Dementia? Does the OP have power of attorney? The executor stuff is pretty simple compared to that if there isn’t a good POA in place. I just had to scramble to get an emergency temporary conservatorship a year ago because my POA document didn’t empower me to establish a trust.
Is the lawyer who prepared your parent's will still alive? Have you tried to contact their office? Also, have you filed the will with the local probate court? That's your first legal step in settling the estate.
Maybe. If it’s just bank/brokerage accounts with a designated beneficiary and a jointly owned house, it wouldn’t need to go to probate court in my state. In Connecticut for example, there’s a lien on the house if you don’t file with probate court and file the corresponding state tax return. Connecticut wants to grab the estate taxes so you can’t sell the house until you pay the tax or prove you don’t owe taxes. Depends on the state.
Maybe. If it’s just bank/brokerage accounts with a designated beneficiary and a jointly owned house, it wouldn’t need to go to probate court in my state. In Connecticut for example, there’s a lien on the house if you don’t file with probate court and file the corresponding state tax return. Connecticut wants to grab the estate taxes so you can’t sell the house until you pay the tax or prove you don’t owe taxes. Depends on the state.
Guess different states have different procedures. I'm posting from my experience. We don't know what state's laws OP has to follow.
Gemini1963 - since you're an attorney can I ask - am I able to speak to an attorney regarding my parent's trust or will they only speak to my parents? My parents trust is very old and I fear it may be obsolete so I would like an attorney to take a look at it and just let me know whether or not it is still valid - and/or what would need to be done to make it current and legally valid.
My parents are hesitant to go to an attorney because they think that attorneys will just want their money to create a new trust. I fully and completely understand that I cannot do anything with the trust myself and it is entirely up to my parents to update it or not - but if I could show it to an attorney I could at least explain to my parents why they need to update it (or not, whatever the case may be.) and let them make an informed decision.
A complicated situation. For anyone reading this, let me emphasize (as dwnmo clearly understands) that the lawyer's clients are dwnmo's parents, so this will be challenging. I sent a DM to dwnmo to discuss it a bit.
My dear mom passed two weeks ago, and I have very little knowledge of what I have to do as executor. My dad is still alive, so I assume anything in both of their names (mostly bank accounts and their house) needs nothing done at this time, except maybe removing Mom's name?
(snip)
I hate that this feels so complicated at a time that I'm already dealing with grief. Any suggestions at all? Good websites?
I was sole executor of my father's estate, years ago. State of Michigan. Laws vary by state, that's a key point. I lived a 5 hr plane flight away. I went back to his home twice: once for funeral (1 week), second to dispose of property and the home (another week, two months later). That was that.
You have a living co-heir, so I'll be out of ideas quickly as that's quite different from my situation.
First and foremost: deal with funeral services. I gather that's in motion. I'm a leader in business so went into business-mode, sublimating my grief. No one else was available to take charge and delegating didn't occur to me, though some aren't up to the task by-nature. So, I dealt with it. Seems you'll have to do the same.
For me that was working with 1) the Catholic Church 2) his favorite funeral home. I spoke with both at-length. They took over their roles admirably. My dad was well known in the community, or well-enough. It solved itself, I made certain decisions and set it in motion.
Next I got on the phone and made maybe 40 calls. All were difficult of course. Necessary to inform others and I informed them of the arrangements. All understood and dealt with in their own ways.
THEN....I contacted a probate attorney for the State of Michigan. We had one who was known to the family, as my late mother was well-connected in the legal industry (coincidence!). He was a decent fellow and took over his part of the process. BTW, I could be wrong about this: you'll need a consultation, given the living heir yet you're the executor. I think the last will testament, and nature of the estate, need to be legally settled in your case. In mine it was black and white, we had a LWT from BB Sr. that was not seriously contested. As executor it was my call what to do with anything and everything.
Those are good starts. Good luck, and my condolences btw.
Last edited by Blondebaerde; 11-02-2021 at 10:21 AM..
To the OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. I still miss my dad every day, for almost 16 years now. He's my first close family loss.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dwnmo
Gemini1963 - since you're an attorney can I ask - am I able to speak to an attorney regarding my parent's trust or will they only speak to my parents? My parents trust is very old and I fear it may be obsolete so I would like an attorney to take a look at it and just let me know whether or not it is still valid - and/or what would need to be done to make it current and legally valid.
My parents are hesitant to go to an attorney because they think that attorneys will just want their money to create a new trust. I fully and completely understand that I cannot do anything with the trust myself and it is entirely up to my parents to update it or not - but if I could show it to an attorney I could at least explain to my parents why they need to update it (or not, whatever the case may be.) and let them make an informed decision.
I was able to take my parents to a few attorneys for an opinion.
I don't see why you couldn't take it to an attorney to have them give you advise without your parents if you do have a copy but that may depend on your state. You have nothing to lose by asking. A trust may not even be the best way for now to leave something. They may be able to do a payable on death with some things.
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