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There's no way of knowing if a missed opportunity or chance would have resulted the way one would hope or expect. So I agree that regrets might not serve much purpose except for self-understanding.
I regret getting married my first time. I was young, and in the military, so it seemed like I was making my own family. Unfortunately, I didn't heed my freezing cold feet the day of the ceremony. I wish I'd stayed single, and then I would've stayed in the USAF longer and maybe made a career of it, instead of getting out after 4 years. And I wouldn't have wasted 10 years of my life married to a total boob.
Not traveling more as a younger person. Not becoming more involved in goings on outside my my life of raising my family and working. Wish I’d developed more hobbies and interests. Not spending more time with my parents and siblings during the ages of 20- 50 when I was so self involved with just earning a living and raising kids. they all lived 4 states away, but I wish I had made it a priority to visit more than once a year.
I had a list I used to haul around with me but in my Fifties it got too heavy. Think I was looking at my life through other peoples' eyes. There was a lot of burdensome self-judgment there.
I reframed them all through my own eyes and am satisfied with the results. My list now reads, "Here's what I did and here's who it made me." It doesn't weigh anything at all.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Originally Posted by WorldKlas
Not traveling more as a younger person. .... Not spending more time with my parents and siblings during the ages of 20- 50 when I was so self involved with just earning a living and raising kids. ....
I think it's a bit crazy and selfish that we invest (?) Our best, most healthy years away from friends and family working at the salt mines. Most careers these days are very low impact on our body and mind. So...I would have preferred to invest my mind and body in my kids and parents from age 30-50, then head back to employment when the kids and parents are no longer at home. Had I invested a fraction of the 60-80 hrs / week spent at work or commuting on a home business... The kids would have gained a perpetual cash stream, and no need for me to ever return to employment.
Should have implemented that plan at age 17. Too buried in the trees of the forest figuring out a care plan for my parents.
First of all, thank God for my brother. I'm so glad he was in my life. We ended up starting a business which lasted 17 years. He and his wife gave me the money to start it. We were 24 and 19 at the time.
But, I made a mistake at 17 and I always wonder. I blamed myself for what happened and I just was so so naive. I was in a relationship with a guy. He was 7 years older. There was something horrible that had happened but I was there willingly so I blamed myself. He was also very controlling but I did not realize that at the time. (For those that are wondering, I did not get pregnant. God was watching over me for sure).
He talked my parents (and me) out of me going away to college. Of course, they went along with it since I was working and helping them but I went to the local community college instead. Not the same but a few months later (November 8th to be exact), we are driving to an event and he tells me he is in love with 2 people - his ex-girlfriend and me. Right then, I knew I had made a mistake.
It took me another 18 months to exit the relationship - I had to do it very slowly. He then stalked me and pulled a gun on me in the front yard when I was being dropped by a different guy. I ended up going to Chicago for close to 2 weeks, coming back thinking everything would be fine and then leaving that year for college. But I've always felt I missed out on all the fun things with college.
I made a couple of relationship mistakes after that one also but finally found the right guy. We will be married 40 years this year. We had two children one of which did the 4 year college thing, belonged to a sorority and graduated with a 3.9 average.
My daughter always tells me how much she loved her college years and how much she learned about herself. I think that is the part I regret - I did not really learn that part - that took years.
I'm trying to be careful in planning future things as I'd really love to have a home as a second home in a 55 plus community for part of the year and morph into retirement slowly. It's hard though when you are self employed.
I've never regretted not completing college at all. I managed to make a successful career for myself without it. What I do regret...is saying something to my now deceased wife that might have made her think I was being a jerk.
Perhaps you are lucky or accomplished or are well-developed without the knowledge, ideas, and scope of viewing the world that attending university or college can provide....
unlike others who illustrate a lack of development, lack of scope of viewing the world, and lack of ideas or knowledge almost every time they open their mouth or post on a forum.
Every year in the Navy, I got 30 days of leave time. During my first 6 or 8 years, I spent all of my level time traveling home to visit relatives. It took me a long time to understand that when I did so, I was in the way. Most of my relatives openly resented my career. Each time when I returned to work, I felt emotionally exhausted. Then I shifted to spending my off time with my wife and children, but really it was mostly doing chores and repairs on whatever house we were living in. it was not until my last three years that I finally began using my leave time to have pleasure. One year I spent a month in Israel touring archeological dig sites. One year I spent a month on a paddle riverboat on the Nile river stopping each day at various ancient Egyptian tombs. I made multiple week-long ski trips to Austria and Switzerland.
I wish I had learned to take enjoyable vacations early in my career.
I think I would have enjoyed spending a few weeks in Tahiti or in Figi.
One boat I was on, surfaced at St. Thomas, Charlotte Amalie, we were only there for three days, but we had a ball.
There was a group of female tourists, who decided to have a competition of topless ping pong on the beach one day. My buddy and I had acquired a bottle of rum that we had to kill before returning to the boat. sitting in the sand that day, I developed a love for watching ping pong, that I had never known before.
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Yes but made some OK choices too
