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What things do you regret not doing when you were younger and what would you change if you could start again and live your life over? Mine would be not going to college, something I regret all the days of my life. I know what I would have loved as a career but it's too late now. I try to make up for it by continuing to educate myself and try to learn something new each and every day. OK, I'll never have that degree but I won't stop learning. That's one of the reasons I post in this forum. I enjoy reading your posts - I might not agree with them all, but reading them is an education in and of itself.
I did go to college but I did not enjoy working in the field of Accounting that I majored in. It gave me some good skills, and a pay check, I manage our finances and keep track of investments. But what I really wish I had done was go to the University of Chicago and studied Sanskrit, did research, published, teach. They have a great department of Religious Studies and great scholars.
Other than than that very few regrets - that I had been more attentive to my kids when they were teenagers and going through some rough time. Had been more relaxed with them and had fun. But everything is as it should be and it is all good.
What things do you regret not doing when you were younger and what would you change if you could start again and live your life over? Mine would be not going to college, something I regret all the days of my life. I know what I would have loved as a career but it's too late now. I try to make up for it by continuing to educate myself and try to learn something new each and every day. OK, I'll never have that degree but I won't stop learning. That's one of the reasons I post in this forum. I enjoy reading your posts - I might not agree with them all, but reading them is an education in and of itself.
Nice post. Learning is a life long process and there is no limit.
College was fine (when I finally had time to attend, long after working for many yrs)
Career / employment was fine.
HS and Jr Hi did the most damage to my academics and attitude (coming to town from a country school)
Nearing the final chapter of life, I regret not being a lot nicer when age 12 - 22. Really rough family / home life during that time (there was none), not as an excuse, but someone sensible and sincere should have sat me down and said.... "Everyone is very valuable and special, and sensitive, treat them with special care. Compliment them, encourage them, support them, make them feel special. (which they are). Make their day a pleasant and meaningful day, regardless of how your day / life / situation is treating you. I really miss many great friendships that 'could-have-been', and grateful for any and all that have-been (and are).
Never too late to do all that, but I know what you mean. I did not nurture friends as I wish had, should have. I met a lot of very nice people in my life, but I did a poor job of keeping in touch, maintaining ties, the introvert that I am.
I had a list I used to haul around with me but in my Fifties it got too heavy. Think I was looking at my life through other peoples' eyes. There was a lot of burdensome self-judgment there.
I reframed them all through my own eyes and am satisfied with the results. My list now reads, "Here's what I did and here's who it made me." It doesn't weigh anything at all.
I love this!
Yes, I felt like a failure because I wasn't measuring up to other people's ideals. Just before my marriage ended in my early 40s, I watched the movie Pleasantville. The theme, as Toby McGuire so succinctly sums it up to his character's mother, is that there is no one right life.
Instead of longing for what I could not have because other people did, I chose to start listening to ME for once. Well, therapy helped me get there, too. Yes, I regret some choices I made, but I really didn't understand then that other choices were available to me.
I am who I am in part because of those experiences. You are right about letting go of all that weight.
I have no regrets, I never expected much and was amazed at how well my life turned out. Started as a non-English speaking teenager, and high school dropout. Nine years of military learned to speak English without an accent, GED, and some College. I worked for a major corporation in the Tech field. Quick promotion into management and intelligent enough to hire college grades and ex-military officers from the Academy the same people I used to have to salute. My military career started in 1959 until 1968. Civilian career started in 1968 until 1991. My job title was Systems Manager, retired at age 50.
No regrets because........we don't know how changing one thing may have really changed things in our present.
For example, what if my Brother and SIL had not introduced me into copying tapes from rentals? Then I wouldn't have this massive video library that I am a slave to. BUT, might it also have been that I would further be hooked on TV services, blindly accepting whatever they dish out, and when I moved out to the country, STARVING because of its media blindspot....or worse, unable to move to country since as hooked, I would not be able to get my fix?
Or what if I had not been so idealistic in the service and not messed up, had a career there. Well, then I probably would not have found my niche in LE, not been in the position to help my parents when they needed it, and probably end up super right wing......and very bitter.
It is here, it is now, and I rather like it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by davebarnes
Not having sex in high school.
That's one of those interesting things for so many factors of what we know in life could come from that, the relationships, and since I didn't have that, I was quite unaware of the interactions which might have gotten me clobbered........if my martial prowess hadn't warned them off to rather talk to me instead.
Last edited by TamaraSavannah; 03-25-2023 at 06:04 PM..
Differing with most of the other posts here:
I went to college, graduated, even attended grad school.
I did very well when I applied myself (which was most of the time),
But if I could do it over again, I wouldn't.
I learn better from reading than from lectures.
And I wouldn't have needed a degree for the work I should've gone into.
But my biggest regret was staying in an occupation that didn't motivate me.
As in school, I did well when I applied myself, but it would've been so much better
to have had work that was inherently engaging for me.
I have good retirement benefits, so things worked out fine from that perspective.
But I'd rather have spent my working years doing something I liked.
I would have certainly started traveling sooner, even if it was one week a year. I retired in 2020 at 66.7 years and my husband retired December 1st at 66. 4. We saved so that we could retire and enjoy travel. Could never convince my husband to take more than a weekend's "vacation". We had planned on moving to Florida in April 2023, but my husband had 2 syncope episodes the first week of March. He was hospitalized for 3 days and we are now going through the chaos of scheduling cardiology appts. 2 months out and tests at the same time frame.
Take one (or more) vacations once a year. Don't wait to start your bucket list until unexpected health issues start.
Best,
Reddog53
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