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One of my biggest regrets is my unkind and hurtful behavior as a young teenager to my step mother when I came to live with her and my father after my mother died. I was never able to apologize to my stepmother as she had already died by the time I was mature enough to realize how hard she had had it, and how my behavior must have hurt her deeply.
I regret getting married my first time. I was young, and in the military, so it seemed like I was making my own family. Unfortunately, I didn't heed my freezing cold feet the day of the ceremony. I wish I'd stayed single, and then I would've stayed in the USAF longer and maybe made a career of it, instead of getting out after 4 years. And I wouldn't have wasted 10 years of my life married to a total boob.
Apparently there's a Boob Factory somewhere that stamps these guys out on an assembly line. You see, I married one as well and instantly regretted it. He was always off who-knows-where doing who-knows-what. 18 months after our wedding I had a divorce.
I regret getting married my first time. I was young, and in the military, so it seemed like I was making my own family. Unfortunately, I didn't heed my freezing cold feet the day of the ceremony. I wish I'd stayed single, and then I would've stayed in the USAF longer and maybe made a career of it, instead of getting out after 4 years. And I wouldn't have wasted 10 years of my life married to a total boob.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat
Apparently there's a Boob Factory somewhere that stamps these guys out on an assembly line. You see, I married one as well and instantly regretted it. He was always off who-knows-where doing who-knows-what. 18 months after our wedding I had a divorce.
I had cold feet too. I should have listened to my intuition.
But who said anything about "dwelling" or "wallowing in despair" as the other poster said, regarding regrets?
It is quite possible to have regrets without dwelling or wallowing in despair.
I find it offensive that if I indicate I have regrets, it's assumed that I'm dwelling on the past or wallowing in despair. That's why it seems it's not ok with a lot of folks that others have regrets.
Why do y'all care? Criticism? Judgment? Gaslighting?
Now I'll be accused of over-reacting!
May be not “wallow in despair” but dwelling on regrets can get us down. We all have regrets at times, either about what we did or neglected to do, either for ourselves or to others. Personally speaking i find recalling some of these moments extremely painful, like physical pain. Is that over reacting? maybe, but it hursts nevertheless.
So i find ways not to dwell on them, and learn to look at the objectively, forgive myself if needed, and count my blessing that I have today that I am grateful for. And I focus more on my present activities that give me joy and satisfaction, pay attention to relationships, and be mindful of what I do or say that I will regret later.
That way regrets can teach us to be better.
Right, I find that because I have such a curious active mind, I'm too busy watching the news, spending time on here, or playing with my dogs, or reading a book. I also like to birdwatch in the early morning. I really don't spend time dwelling. I do have regret though. It's perfectly normal. Nobody's life is perfect.
I regret a fist fight I avoided in high school. I probably would have lost, but so what?
I regret my first marriage which happened out of loneliness.
Other than that, I regret how conventional my decisions have been without much advance planning and without much of any daring. I should have found out more about colleges, careers and the like ahead of time. I regret unassertiveness.
Mostly no regrets. But I wish I fought that fight ...
I regret a fist fight I avoided in high school. I probably would have lost, but so what? ...
When I was a Freshman in high school, my English classroom was on the second floor with a long winding stairwell. Each day when class let out, the stairs were lined with students coming off lunch. They got in the habit of pushing me down grabbing my feet and pulling me down the stairs, and anyone sitting of the stairs would pinch the back of my legs. After many weeks of this, and the teacher unable to do anything to change the behavior, one time at the bottom of the stairs I started swinging back. They dog-piled on top of me and broke my nose. I went to the office to report that my nose had been broken, and I was suspended from school. When I got home, my mother beat me, then took me to the doctor to set my nose, and when my father got home he beat me.
As I recall, I think it was the only time when my father beat me that was actually related to my behavior, usually his beatings were linked to his mood. If he got home in a bad mood, then I got a beating.
Later that year my parents divorced, I was told to stay with my mother. She remarried quickly and we moved to a different town. In that school, I worked a lot harder to avoid fights. I remember running a lot.
The best strategy that I found was arranging my class schedule so I could leave campus an hour early each day to go to work.
When I graduated I weighed 95 pounds, I was a short skinny kid.
oh and this regret comes to mind:
in college if i had a do-over, i would take a semester in a foreign country.
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Me too, absolutely.
