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Retirement is still about a decade away for us, but we're thinking along those terms.
We're in the process of moving for a new job, and I've spent the last several months pruning stuff. I've been keeping a lot of stuff for sentimental reasons, but its reached the critical mass state. I could pack it up and move it again, but I'm not going to.
I've found it is an emotional thing to get rid of stuff but I've come to this conclusion---everytime I look at it I feel sad, it brings back memories of times gone by. Good times, but those people are all gone. If I get rid of it, it can't hurt again. It will hurt one last time, then its gone for good.
Some things are too significant to part with, yet too awkward to ship and store, so I've been taking pictures and making a memory album. then the object no longer has a significance as a keeper of a memory, the memory has been transferred to the photo and album. Its like magic---those objects suddenly became just old stuff I could part with.
But a warning---it is an emotional process and a long, slow one. Don't think you can toss out a lifetime of memories in a weekend. Start slow and give yourself time, you're saying goodbye.......
It's not just the past, it's the person--mother, grandmother, etc. We have so many things from them... Also hard to give up wedding presents I got 45 yrs. ago. At least one daughter would enjoy having them.
Plus, I feel like in another location I may actually enjoy entertaining some nice people.
We gave up entertaining years ago. The politics became too sticky. Face it, the whole reason people have family dinners isn't to eat food, its to set each other up, have something to gossip about, show off your china, etc. Its NOT about having a good time, its cuthroat competetion for who has the best china, silver, tablesettings, innovative recipies, etc.
If I ever need to entertain people I take them out,they have these nifty places called restaurants, they cook, serve, and even clean up afterwards. Such a deal!
I'm entertaining giving up my couch. They are sooooooo heavy and hard to move around, and they are kind of useless in terms of how many can sit on it without feeling awkward. If I give up the couch, any suggestions for affordable lightweight chairs (maybe 4 or 6?) that are comfortable (not heavy overstuffed? )
Marylee, pizza on paper plates with beer also works well...
NEG, I was an art major in college, and have loved to write most of my life. I still have a few things I did in grade school or jr. high and I'm glad I kept them, as it gladdens me and amazes me that I was able to do those things then. I enjoy coming across them and looking at them and reading them again. Then there's high school, and a little more....then college, and I'm in trouble. It does make me feel good to see what I've been able to do. Sometimes I feel kinda useless at times since I also have a chronic physical condition( which I hope moving to a dry climate will result in much improvement) that prevents me from doing a lot. It affects my energy level so strongly. (energy? what energy? poof! it's gone.....) The back injury from a fall prevents me from doing much lifting, too. (yet I've had to do so much of it in this move. I'm so exhausted). Anyway, here's what I did and what I'd suggest: pick out a few examples of your best work. Offer the rest to children or special friends. Let it be their problem to worry about the framing. Keep some of every medium if there's a good example of it. This time I hung some of my artwork when i moved. I no longer have much of it stored. But I still get joy and pride and satisfaction from what I kept. It also encourages me to try again in a medium i haven't used in decades.
Now.....art supplies.....whew! That's a really, really tough one for me. i moved bins and bins of art and craft supplies. It IS very expensive to replace this stuff. And in some cases it took years to build up my stashes. So on this one I ditched practicality and went with doing what I felt comfortable with.(most non- artists cannot appreciate the value of these supplies, both literal value and emotional value). Don't misunderstand me....I certainly did get rid of lots of art supplies. For my grandkids. For teachers to use in their classrooms. To benefit the humane society in their rummage sale. I donated over 40 gift baskets I had made up that were very pretty. (I used to do this as a business) I don't know yet if I did the right thing moving this stuff. It cost a lot to move----just the boxes I shipped UPS cost almost $500. But sometimes it isn't the "right" time to let go of things. I'm cutting myself some slack, and *gasp* even allowing myself to make mistakes in dealing with the neccesary job of scaling back. I don't regret it------yet, anyway! I've only been here a month. Ask me later how i feel.....LOL
I have had a very difficult time with this process, as my standard of living went from solid middle class comfortable (finally!!! After all those lean years!) to poverty level after my ex ditched me for his new wife. he didn't treat me badly, but it costs a lot to live these days, and the amt I'm living on is tough for me because of medical costs, besides. So I weighed each towel, each sheet, so many many things, with the question/fear that if I got rid of it, could I ever afford to replace it if I need to? I decided I could borrow some things (the big cooker, the extra quilt for example) on the rare occasions I'd need them. I suspect that even after halfing my possessions, then halfing them yet again, I hung onto far more than I logically should have. But I'm comfortable with my decision right now, I feel relatively safe, and I derive much enjoyment from both my "things" and my supplies. Moving alone to a place I knew no-one, well, the "stuff" does provide the sense of familiarity, as someone mentioned earlier. It's not as if you'll never have another chance to pare down again!!!! Anyway, hope that helps somewhat, and best of luck to you and all the others trying to simplify. Some people like me do it better in stages, and that's not such a reprehensible idea, is it?
Last edited by artangel; 06-29-2010 at 03:53 AM..
Reason: spelling, punctuation, added another sentence to clarify
Some people like me do it better in stages, and that's not such a reprehensible idea, is it?
Actually, I'm finding its best done in stages. A lot of old stuff has memory triggers, good and bad. You find yourself reliving some issues. I'm finding I can only relive so much at a time.
The good part is, when its gone, its gone, can never affect you again. Just last week, I decided to throw away my old high school year books. High school was a painful time for me, I was one of the "outcasts". What on earth am I dragging around memories of that time for? I have other pictures of the people from that time I want to remember. It felt good to get rid of those ghosts, but I did relive some of the emotions of that time. The good thing is, I will never go back there emotionally again.
You have to proceed with caution when going through the past, it dredges up both positive and negative emotions, its liberating to finally get rid of some of the ghosts, but do take warning----they will haunt you one last time as you exorcise them. It does become overwhelming if you're moving and doing a massive purge.
Some people like me do it better in stages, and that's not such a reprehensible idea, is it?
Actually, I'm finding its best done in stages. A lot of old stuff has memory triggers, good and bad. You find yourself reliving some issues. I'm finding I can only relive so much at a time.
The good part is, when its gone, its gone, can never affect you again. Just last week, I decided to throw away my old high school year books. High school was a painful time for me, I was one of the "outcasts". What on earth am I dragging around memories of that time for? I have other pictures of the people from that time I want to remember. It felt good to get rid of those ghosts, but I did relive some of the emotions of that time. The good thing is, I will never go back there emotionally again.
You have to proceed with caution when going through the past, it dredges up both positive and negative emotions, its liberating to finally get rid of some of the ghosts, but do take warning----they will haunt you one last time as you exorcise them. It does become overwhelming if you're moving and doing a massive purge.
I agree with this - I have gone through the same bins 2,3, 4 times. Each time I'm more ready to let go of something else. It's very much an individual process. Also, because things will be here for 1-2 mos after they are in the "see ya" box, my fear of getting rid of something I would deeply regret hasn't happened. Now as I go around the house and open closets/drawers I say -" Lookin good!" Then I go downstairs and say "Yikes - look at all these bins". Some for a garage sale, some are permanently packed for the final move.
NEG, I was an art major in college, and have loved to write most of my life. I still have a few things I did in grade school or jr. high and I'm glad I kept them, as it gladdens me and amazes me that I was able to do those things then. I enjoy coming across them and looking at them and reading them again. Then there's high school, and a little more....then college, and I'm in trouble. It does make me feel good to see what I've been able to do. Sometimes I feel kinda useless at times since I also have a chronic physical condition( which I hope moving to a dry climate will result in much improvement) that prevents me from doing a lot. It affects my energy level so strongly. (energy? what energy? poof! it's gone.....) The back injury from a fall prevents me from doing much lifting, too. (yet I've had to do so much of it in this move. I'm so exhausted). Anyway, here's what I did and what I'd suggest: pick out a few examples of your best work. Offer the rest to children or special friends. Let it be their problem to worry about the framing. Keep some of every medium if there's a good example of it. This time I hung some of my artwork when i moved. I no longer have much of it stored. But I still get joy and pride and satisfaction from what I kept. It also encourages me to try again in a medium i haven't used in decades.
Now.....art supplies.....whew! That's a really, really tough one for me. i moved bins and bins of art and craft supplies. It IS very expensive to replace this stuff. And in some cases it took years to build up my stashes. So on this one I ditched practicality and went with doing what I felt comfortable with.(most non- artists cannot appreciate the value of these supplies, both literal value and emotional value). Don't misunderstand me....I certainly did get rid of lots of art supplies. For my grandkids. For teachers to use in their classrooms. To benefit the humane society in their rummage sale. I donated over 40 gift baskets I had made up that were very pretty. (I used to do this as a business) I don't know yet if I did the right thing moving this stuff. It cost a lot to move----just the boxes I shipped UPS cost almost $500. But sometimes it isn't the "right" time to let go of things. I'm cutting myself some slack, and *gasp* even allowing myself to make mistakes in dealing with the neccesary job of scaling back. I don't regret it------yet, anyway! I've only been here a month. Ask me later how i feel.....LOL
I have had a very difficult time with this process, as my standard of living went from solid middle class comfortable (finally!!! After all those lean years!) to poverty level after my ex ditched me for his new wife. he didn't treat me badly, but it costs a lot to live these days, and the amt I'm living on is tough for me because of medical costs, besides. So I weighed each towel, each sheet, so many many things, with the question/fear that if I got rid of it, could I ever afford to replace it if I need to? I decided I could borrow some things (the big cooker, the extra quilt for example) on the rare occasions I'd need them. I suspect that even after halfing my possessions, then halfing them yet again, I hung onto far more than I logically should have. But I'm comfortable with my decision right now, I feel relatively safe, and I derive much enjoyment from both my "things" and my supplies. Moving alone to a place I knew no-one, well, the "stuff" does provide the sense of familiarity, as someone mentioned earlier. It's not as if you'll never have another chance to pare down again!!!! Anyway, hope that helps somewhat, and best of luck to you and all the others trying to simplify. Some people like me do it better in stages, and that's not such a reprehensible idea, is it?
Your post here is so inspirational to me as an artist and writer and now a woman of 60+ who has had to face the fact of physical disability that absolutely drains me at times. I don't know how you managed to make your move except with the guidance of some other power. Maybe you will write a book or a memoir, I'd love to read it!
You have to proceed with caution when going through the past, it dredges up both positive and negative emotions, its liberating to finally get rid of some of the ghosts, but do take warning----they will haunt you one last time as you exorcise them. It does become overwhelming if you're moving and doing a massive purge.
You have hit the nail on the head. I'm starting to think that the women posting on this thread and several other related threads have so much in common, we must be sisters in spirit. In the attic I have had to confront the photos of one of my children who died many years ago in infancy. OMG, I hardly made it down. But it felt good after all the tears. A friend is going to take some things away to a special place for me.
I agree with this - I have gone through the same bins 2,3, 4 times. Each time I'm more ready to let go of something else. It's very much an individual process. Also, because things will be here for 1-2 mos after they are in the "see ya" box, my fear of getting rid of something I would deeply regret hasn't happened. Now as I go around the house and open closets/drawers I say -" Lookin good!" Then I go downstairs and say "Yikes - look at all these bins". Some for a garage sale, some are permanently packed for the final move.
I'm becoming very frustrated because we won't be able to move for about a year. But in a way it's good, because it gives me the time to go through the emotions of parting with things I've grown attached to. Everything happens for a reason and in its own time.
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Frustration Put to Good Use
