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I am not a yuppie and I barely even talk to my neighbors. They shunned me from the beginning I think, and we all just ignore each other.
There is no sense of community in my neighborhood. It's just a bunch of people who are paranoid of each other, rude to each other, everyone has the "leave me alone" attitude.
I've been living in tiny towns and villages for the past ten years all over the world. I'm not some yuppie who moved to the country from LA.
I too, live in a blue collar area and have no idea what gentrified means.
The flack you're receiving is directly connected to your post. You said"
Quote:
Hello folks. I am trying to find a way to ask this question in the most polite way possible. But I guess it'll still sound a bit rude
[b]My question is mostly for educated and well-traveled people who have decided to move to the country in America. Those who have experienced life in progressive, international, well educated areas full of opportunity and diversity of thoughts, but then moved out to a small town where it is more closed off and narrow minded. Especially those of you who have spent time overseas.
So, being well educated and well traveled and diversified is superior to the "small town" where people are "narrow minded".
My question is, how did you adjust to the different mindset in the rural area? How do you relate to people who's horizons are so much more limited? (Who said our horizons were limited? Different, yes. Limited? Hardly)
I know that there are many American rural areas where the people are worldly, educated, civil, kind, non-violent and open-minded. But as we all know, most of the good ol' USA is NOT like that. Usually just about the opposite.
This is something I've been struggling with. I LOVE living out in the country and have been doing it for a while now. But I still can't relate to the simple mindedness of many small town American people. I feel like many Americans who live out in the country just let themselves get a very backwards attitude. I meet so many people who are just totally non-intellectual in every way. Seriously it is astounding to me how backwards it can be. (How is this relating to your own neighborhood, who's got "no sense of community"? Is this not a pointed accusation of the lackadaisical lifestyles you perceive "Small town American people"? This attitude is intentional. We're tired of "progress" and try to keep our nice, quiet towns safe and sound. We have no reason to move "forward" when we're at peace where we are.)
We all have the internet. We can all educate ourselves. Yet so many of these people just seem to settle for ignorance. I know that's just American culture and that's just human nature for many people. But it sure is a bummer to have to deal with folks like this everyday. (You're right about that. I have an 8th grade education, but my knowledge is astounding on subjects I find to be of interest)
I still havn't figured out how to deal with it. At first I tried to be open minded and accepting and relate to them. But after a while it becomes difficult to deal with people who are probably dumber than a 3rd grader from Japan. I just feel like yelling out "TURN OFF DUCK DYNASTY AND READ A FREAKING BOOK!". (If you talk to them about things that are relevant to life there, you'll find a plethora of knowledge you didn't know existed.)
For the richest nation on Earth, we sure are lacking in education and knowledge. It's a real problem. (Why is it a problem to you that people don't know what you want them to know?)
If you're in that small a town, then, whether it be right or wrong, you're probably being perceived as you were in your OP. If you want to be included in that neighborhood, then you (like it or not, the south is like this) must earn their trust.
Go visit! Find something you like about someone's home, garden, kids, whatever, and when you see them, compliment them. You'll end up with people that will show you how to accomplish whatever it is you like and will then open up to learn about what you like.
Country folk love to visit. If you're new in the neighborhood, go visit a woman in your neighborhood, tell her you don't know anyone and that you're new not only to the area, but to the customs.
Country folk won't change either. If you move to the country, it's to be country folk, so you'll adapt to your surroundings and eventually, the same people you yearn for now, will be the same people that irk you later.
If the entire neighborhood is like that, then maybe you can bring them all together! Why not throw a block party? I did that when I first moved here and I know everyone in the neighborhood (and have for 17 years now). If you think they didn't talk to you...be the biker that moved into a street where every person on the street is related and are hillbillies in the truest sense of the word!)
The trick is not to become agitated with what they don't know, it's learning what they do know (which only increases your education) so that you're comfortable within your community.
(Sitting here thinking on it...could it be possible that your neighbors are also transplants and are feeling what your'e feeling...or could it be that the "old timers" are suspicious of the possibility that change will come now that you're there? Again, get to know them so you know where their heads are and react accordingly (?)
My area is not like that at all. People around here literally act as though they hate each other. It's a very strange vibe. Reminds me of Russia a little bit, just really brutal and hardcore attitude.
They probably don't dislike each other, just you.
I have no doubt you've made yourself known in the community by bragging about your travels and education, asking questions like "Why isn't there a (insert business which would have 3 customers in the area) here? It would make this dump more civilized". Possibly you've made small talk about inbreds or used a term for the residents which is locally a joke but offensive when used by outsiders or newcomers.
Maybe you've complained about hunters, or called the local police when you heard gunshots during hunting season.
I don't really know if you have done any of those things, but it's the pattern which people with your attitude follow.
I have no doubt you've made yourself known in the community by bragging about your travels and education, asking questions like "Why isn't there a (insert business which would have 3 customers in the area) here? It would make this dump more civilized". Possibly you've made small talk about inbreds or used a term for the residents which is locally a joke but offensive when used by outsiders or newcomers.
Maybe you've complained about hunters, or called the local police when you heard gunshots during hunting season.
I don't really know if you have done any of those things, but it's the pattern which people with your attitude follow.
I have barely even had conversations with any of my neighbors.
I moved in, and from day 1 they were all giving me dirty looks. I smiled, waved, they would just stare back coldly. I walked up and down the street trying to talk to people, they all acted like I was an axe murderer, for some reason they all seemed to be terrified of me with extreme hate.
Lots of them were purposely trying to bother me. Acting rowdy near my property line, even trespassing. I tried to walk up and talk to them, but they just acted belligerent.
2 times people came up trying to talk to me in a nice way. Both times, it turned out they were meth heads just trying to warm up to me to bum rides and food and stuff like that.
It is what it is Maybe i'll just sell my place at a nice profit and get out of here one day.
I've usually found that there are a few educated, forward thinking people in the town that I can hang out with. I join the Friends of the Library and the Historical Society. Some of the other people who may not be educated are smart and knowledgeable, as you find out if you get to know them. Others are totally impossibly ignorant and want to remain that way.
Sounds exactly like urban areas, except in the "enlightened, progressive cities" they segregate the less educated (but often no less ignorant) away on the poor side of the tracks.
The most elitist, ignorant, intolerant, closed minded people I've ever met have been from progressive cities.
I too, live in a blue collar area and have no idea what gentrified means.
The flack you're receiving is directly connected to your post. You said"
If you're in that small a town, then, whether it be right or wrong, you're probably being perceived as you were in your OP. If you want to be included in that neighborhood, then you (like it or not, the south is like this) must earn their trust.
Go visit! Find something you like about someone's home, garden, kids, whatever, and when you see them, compliment them. You'll end up with people that will show you how to accomplish whatever it is you like and will then open up to learn about what you like.
Country folk love to visit. If you're new in the neighborhood, go visit a woman in your neighborhood, tell her you don't know anyone and that you're new not only to the area, but to the customs.
Country folk won't change either. If you move to the country, it's to be country folk, so you'll adapt to your surroundings and eventually, the same people you yearn for now, will be the same people that irk you later.
If the entire neighborhood is like that, then maybe you can bring them all together! Why not throw a block party? I did that when I first moved here and I know everyone in the neighborhood (and have for 17 years now). If you think they didn't talk to you...be the biker that moved into a street where every person on the street is related and are hillbillies in the truest sense of the word!)
The trick is not to become agitated with what they don't know, it's learning what they do know (which only increases your education) so that you're comfortable within your community.
(Sitting here thinking on it...could it be possible that your neighbors are also transplants and are feeling what your'e feeling...or could it be that the "old timers" are suspicious of the possibility that change will come now that you're there? Again, get to know them so you know where their heads are and react accordingly (?)
I am starting to realize that I live in a VERY different kind of neighborhood than most you of all.
I can imagine most of you live in big houses in middle or upper-middle class areas. I can tell by the ideas and suggestions floating around in this thread, most of these ideas would NOT work whatsoever in my neighborhood.
You guys have no idea... Come visit me on my street and you will be shock. Lots of you all live far away from the robberies, meth, alcoholics, etc. If you live right next to it, the dynamics change a lot.
Lots of totally unreasonable people here. You cannot just talk to them calmly. They are too out there.
I have barely even had conversations with any of my neighbors.
I moved in, and from day 1 they were all giving me dirty looks. I smiled, waved, they would just stare back coldly. I walked up and down the street trying to talk to people, they all acted like I was an axe murderer, for some reason they all seemed to be terrified of me with extreme hate.
Lots of them were purposely trying to bother me. Acting rowdy near my property line, even trespassing. I tried to walk up and talk to them, but they just acted belligerent.
2 times people came up trying to talk to me in a nice way. Both times, it turned out they were meth heads just trying to warm up to me to bum rides and food and stuff like that.
It is what it is Maybe i'll just sell my place at a nice profit and get out of here one day.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you and I apologize for my harsh response, but you didn't specify the neighborhood as being "underclass" (check: rottenneighbor.com and see if your neighborood is listed)
Maybe you're there to turn things around and turn it into a loving, caring neighborhood! On the other hand, if you have meth heads living there, I'd imagine it's "welfare class" instead of "working class".
Check out what others have to say about their neighbors when you're looking for a place...and list (after you move), your neighbors on the same site so nobody else gets duped.
My neighborhood is strictly working class. My neighbor raises 2 hogs a year and we all get our pork from him. I raise hens for eggs and meat and the guy next door does rabbits.
We're considered "hicks" by even middle class, but we won't tolerate drug addicts or dealers (we'll report them because trash brings trash and they rob houses.)
You have rights. If there are meth heads, there are meth dealers. Get with your local sheriff's dept and get rid of the garbage. Encourage those neighbors who are sick of the dregs to join you in a town hall meeting to rid the community of these derelicts!
I'm so sorry this is happening to you and I apologize for my harsh response, but you didn't specify the neighborhood as being "underclass" (check: rottenneighbor.com and see if your neighborood is listed)
Maybe you're there to turn things around and turn it into a loving, caring neighborhood! On the other hand, if you have meth heads living there, I'd imagine it's "welfare class" instead of "working class".
Check out what others have to say about their neighbors when you're looking for a place...and list (after you move), your neighbors on the same site so nobody else gets duped.
My neighborhood is strictly working class. My neighbor raises 2 hogs a year and we all get our pork from him. I raise hens for eggs and meat and the guy next door does rabbits.
We're considered "hicks" by even middle class, but we won't tolerate drug addicts or dealers (we'll report them because trash brings trash and they rob houses.)
You have rights. If there are meth heads, there are meth dealers. Get with your local sheriff's dept and get rid of the garbage. Encourage those neighbors who are sick of the dregs to join you in a town hall meeting to rid the community of these derelicts!
People call the cops and sheriff on a weekly basis around here it seems. It doesn't help. Law enforcement just can't or won't do anything about it.
I think the law enforcement around here knows that this area is out of control and full of crazy hicks who will just do whatever they want to do. So they just shrug their shoulders and move on. They seem lazy too, unwilling to take action, they don't want to confront meth heads and put in real work. They would rather cruise around writing tickets to get that revenue. Cops and Sheriffs tend to ignore areas where there is no money or industry or people with clout.
Also people here call the cops for any little thing. One time I was working outside at about midnight and someone called the cops on me. They were just pulling an a-hole move on me to mess with me. They knew I wasn't doing anything wrong but they called the cops just to be jerks.
The cops are probably sick of coming out for bogus calls by paranoid idiots.
You guys have no idea... Come visit me on my street and you will be shock. Lots of you all live far away from the robberies, meth, alcoholics, etc. If you live right next to it, the dynamics change a lot.
Lots of totally unreasonable people here. You cannot just talk to them calmly. They are too out there.
I live in a poorer county and unfortunately the area has a meth problem…which in turn can lead to thieving. Those are not the kind of people I want to be friends with. I am in a dry county so not much alcohol related problems. Luckily my neighbors…even though we aren't that close are decent hard working people who are very family oriented.
Drugs and or alcohol and desperation can make for some very unreasonable people. If you truly live on a "block" like that you should move. I know I would not feel safe there. We still have some old moonshine stills about in the mountains with lots of No Trespassing signs and big dogs. I stay way from those places…those people want to be left alone.
My area is not like that at all. People around here literally act as though they hate each other. It's a very strange vibe. Reminds me of Russia a little bit, just really brutal and hardcore attitude.
Maybe too many enlightened, progressive, city people have moved in.
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Originally Posted by TravelingAndSettling
Western WA
Well there you go. Western WA is hardly a bastion of rural conservatism and has suffered from a large invasion from California over the last 20 years. Many small towns in western WA are becoming bedroom communities where yuppies from the city sleep and commute from, and aren't 'small town' people at all. That would explain why your "small town" experience is different from the people who live in actual small towns.
That is happening to the small town where I live, it's become a bedroom community for Microsoft and is a very different (and not for the better) place than it was 15 years ago and has more than doubled the population and brought an increase in crime.
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Maybe i'll just sell my place at a nice profit and get out of here one day.
are decent hard working people who are very family oriented.