To move or not to move...that is truly the question... (San Antonio: fit in, rent)

[Blackscorpion]

I have been debating on moving to San Antonio for quite a while now. Recently however, I decided to suck it up in east texas and go back to school. I am not trying to be rude, but people here are very racist and the place is still segregated. I am really just sick of it to the point that I can't take it anymore. In fact, a few days ago I got told that if I didn't like how things were there that I could go back to Mexico which is funny since I am not even from Mexico. One of my "friends" was there and he just laughed at my expense...when I tried to go back and tell him that I didn't appreciate what his friend said, he basically told me that I needed to suck it up and turn the other cheek..which I just can't do anymore...

Anyways, I am going to the university over here and I took 3 classes in 2007-2008. The university said that they are old and that they might be able to get a waiver, but that it wasn't for sure. I knew I could get back into this university because I graduated from here, but now I feel like I made a mistake. They can't tell me for sure if my waiver will get approved because we just got a new university president and graduate dean, so now I have to wait 4 months before I know if I need to take 3 extra classes. I tried to call grad admissions and a student told me there told me that the professor could not absolutely tell me yes or no because it had to do with liability. I understand that, but I get very stressed out when things are just in the air and noone can give me a clear answer.

On top of this, I rent with a roommate, it's his place and he said that he MAY leave in May, but he is not sure. Again, more uncertainty=more stress. I have asked him several times what he wants to do and he can't give me an answer. He said that he is just going to apply everywhere for jobs. He has expressed an interest in Austin, but can't tell me if he will stay here or not. It's very hard for me to find work here that pays decent, much less work that would actually work around school and pay a decent wage. I wish he would have told me this BEFORE I signed up for school!

A part of me wants to just leave this area behind. I don't fit in here and I don't like to hunt, fish or go mudding. No offense to those that do, but it's just not for me. I am racially tolerant of others, but people are not of me. I know San Antonio has more jobs and has a huge hispanic population. Heck, I don't even date in this area because of the way people are here and I feel like I am getting left behind. I kinda want to drop out but I will lose 4200 dollars and then I feel like I will never be able to get my masters because I am already in my 30s, however, I would be so much happier in another place. The school did let me in without taking the GRE and I feel like if I leave, then it's permanent so I have to be absolutely sure of what I am doing and honestly I just feel lost. Can someone give me some advice here please?

[ranchodrive]

First you need to change your outlook on life .

If you have met all the people of east Texas & they were all racist towards
you, then yes I would move.

I'm twice 30 myself...& let me say that no matter where you go...there will
always be good & bad folks.

Dwell more on the positive people & things.

[alamocityre]

Originally Posted by ranchodrive

First you need to change your outlook on life .

If you have met all the people of San Antonio & they were all racist towards
you, then yes I would move.

I'm twice 30 myself...& let me say that no matter where you go...there will
always be good & bad folks.

Dwell more on the positive people & things.

OP is talking about east Texas, not San Antonio. He or she is looking to move to San Antonio.

[wehotex]

Originally Posted by ranchodrive

First you need to change your outlook on life .

If you have met all the people of San Antonio & they were all racist towards
you, then yes I would move.

I'm twice 30 myself...& let me say that no matter where you go...there will
always be good & bad folks.

Dwell more on the positive people & things.

I think that the OP was saying that his east Texas town is racist, not San Antonio. He is pondering a move to SA and wants to get out of hickville. I'm curious which town that is that he's talking about.

[Shock]

You should definitely move. I couldn't put up with that either. If your top priority is friendly people then San Antonio is your best choice.

[Blackscorpion]

Originally Posted by ranchodrive

First you need to change your outlook on life .

If you have met all the people of east Texas & they were all racist towards
you, then yes I would move.

I'm twice 30 myself...& let me say that no matter where you go...there will
always be good & bad folks.

Dwell more on the positive people & things.

Haha, you changed it, yes I was talking about east texas. I know there are always good and bad folks, but when you can have enough people to socialize with so that that doesn't even matter, then that won't faze you. Unfortunately, I have 1 friend here...and he might leave! I have tried so hard to keep thinking positively, but I am from this area and all my friends have moved away. I just don't think that I have the energy in me to keep fighting anymore.

Originally Posted by Shock

You should definitely move. I couldn't put up with that either. If your top priority is friendly people then San Antonio is your best choice.

Thanks shock, that is one of my top priorities. I thought it was just me and I have spent literally hours, analyzing my behavior, trying to figure out what i am doing wrong. It has thrown me literally into a depression and I don't want to be like this...The hard part of it is that I am in school and I took out loans so if I drop early, then I don't know what I will do.

The people in San Antonio do seem friendly, I have been there numerous amount of times and there are resources to help people and jobs. This area that I am in has one of the highest unemployment rates in the state and it is hard for me to find jobs. I did talk to an acquaintence and she said that I should change to an online master s program in education and do that since there is not much that you can do with an MPA degree. She also said that my roommate is being vague because whatever he does affects me and if I leave on my own, then he won't be the bad guy. Any thoughts on this?

[Blackscorpion]

wow, I don't even know where to begin. My university offers a place where students can go and speak with a counselor about any problems that they are having. I spoke to one just 30 mins ago and honestly I still don't know what to think. She did give me options such as staying vs leaving, but when I told her about the racism and how it seems how I only have social problems here in east texas or what not, it seemed like she almost got angry and at one point she told me that I needed to stop complaining and whining and take responsibility for my own actions. I hope i did not come off that way here, and if I did I am sorry. Honestly, I expected someone to be a little bit more empathetic to my situation. It was pretty much all put back on me.

[Soviet]

Originally Posted by Blackscorpion

wow, I don't even know where to begin. My university offers a place where students can go and speak with a counselor about any problems that they are having. I spoke to one just 30 mins ago and honestly I still don't know what to think. She did give me options such as staying vs leaving, but when I told her about the racism and how it seems how I only have social problems here in east texas or what not, it seemed like she almost got angry and at one point she told me that I needed to stop complaining and whining and take responsibility for my own actions. I hope i did not come off that way here, and if I did I am sorry. Honestly, I expected someone to be a little bit more empathetic to my situation. It was pretty much all put back on me.

Of course they're going to blame their racism on you. They don't want to be called racists even if they are, subliminal or not.

Get out of there and search for a good life for yourself somewhere else. That heckhole is stifling you. Just look at what this pathetic excuse for a counselor just said. It may be difficult, but it may be the wiser choice than staying over there if it's stifling your ability to study and live a good life.

[ggeorgie]

Originally Posted by Blackscorpion

wow, I don't even know where to begin. My university offers a place where students can go and speak with a counselor about any problems that they are having. I spoke to one just 30 mins ago and honestly I still don't know what to think. She did give me options such as staying vs leaving, but when I told her about the racism and how it seems how I only have social problems here in east texas or what not, it seemed like she almost got angry and at one point she told me that I needed to stop complaining and whining and take responsibility for my own actions. I hope i did not come off that way here, and if I did I am sorry. Honestly, I expected someone to be a little bit more empathetic to my situation. It was pretty much all put back on me.

Sounds like you do well in a small school setting. Try U.I.W.
Leave east Texas; it is bad, especially around Nacogdoches area

[Blackscorpion]

Thanks for your responses guys...I am trying to remember all that she said to me. Let's see what stands out..now I did vent a bit since I had to bring up these issues again, but that is her job to be there and listen right?

At first she tried to get a bunch of useless info out of me that i really didn't want to give and I finally relented such as emergency contact, do i have siblings..do i get high? I mean wtf...

The things that I remember are these:

You should stay in school, at least for this semester. Dropping out would mean you would lose loan money and that is like buying half a car with nothing to show for it.

You maybe could commute and live in houston and drive and stay here for a few days, that's what I did.

You seem to hate people in this area(I never said that nor gave any indication of that, I said I was frustrated with people)

You need to quit dwelling on things and quit worrying so much(Well duh, I know that, but how do I do it?)

You need to be looking for a job instead of moping around the house and playing videogames( i told her I got laid off and I just finished physical therapy this week, I had also told her that earlier...is this lady even listening to me?)

You need to quit complaining and whining(She said this multiple times, like three I think...geez isn't this her job to listen to people?)

You need to stop blaming people for your situation(I had told her that people segregate themselves here and that it was hard for me to socialize and i didn't like it)

You need to change your attitude, you are in grad school now, you need to do the work and do what you are supposed to be doing. You are a grown adult, you are not a teenager nor a freshman. (I didn't finish my work this week..the first time EVER and I told her..Jesus Christ lady, I had a small emotional breakdown..can't you be a little supportive?)

You should just move away. Your staying here is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, it just isn't working..if it's not working then maybe you should leave. (ok, she changed her tune here, what happened to trying to make it work?)

I guess as you can tell, I think I pissed her off...i don't know if it was because I mentioned racism, or if it was the negativity of the situation, but I thought these people were trained to listen to you without getting upset or judgemental? I guess not. I am going to try to finish this semester so I don't lose my loan money, after that I am out.