African American in San Diego (Los Angeles, Chula Vista: new home, transfer, neighborhoods)

[jghall00]

Originally Posted by CocoaGoddess

I also don't think it's out of line to want to have some establishments that will cater to blacks, such as restaurants, hair salons, barber shops, etc. I shouldn't have to drive to LA to get my daughter's hair done. I shouldn't have to wait for my bi-monthly trips to LA just to be able to find decent skincare products for my brown skin.

Getting my girls hair done has been an issue for years. We used to go have relatives in L.A. do it. We paid nearly $400 for them to get it braided here, just so we wouldn't have to worry about it for a few months. That's one thing I miss about Houston. My kids definitely won't get the black hair salon experience.

[4sdSince81]

Originally Posted by The_Fairfaxian

So from what I'm hearing, the reason why I would feel uncomfortable is because of the lack of black people.

Well in that case, I'm not convinced that I would be completely unwanted. Where I am, there is a lot of diversity and an "active" black community, but it isn't all freaking rosy.

As for where I live, the city may be diverse, but cliques and friendships are determined by race, and self-segregation is an epidemic.

The blacks in DC don't have the "let's get together brothers and sisters" mentality that one would expect. As a black person, I never felt like my race was an advantage in the "black mecca" of DC. You have to fit into the "black image" (and in today's day and age, that's either ghetto or ghetto-fabulous) in order to have a chance of being embraced by DC's black community. If you truly handle your own or are successful and prosperous without being a pompous a$$, you're considered a "sell-out" or an "uncle tom." Please don't tell me that's what blacks want more of in SD.

As for the whites (and other non-blacks in general) in DC, they not only make blacks feel uncomfortable by using broad-brush judgments, but due to the rich-white/poor-black strata that's extreme in DC, they have ammunition for their prejudice. So don't think a lack of a black population in of itself leads to racism. It could be worse. You could have a black population who is predominantly poor and are always highlighted in the local media for all of the crime that occurs.

I feel ill over all of the stuff I deal with on a daily basis by just typing this.

But for what I want to know about San Diego as a place I should consider is the following:

-Can I, as a black person, be seen as an individual instead of broad-brushed as "one of them?" Despite all of the diversity in the world, the "genius liberals" in DC still see blacks in the stereotypical way (and it's not in any of the good ways neither).
-Is the dating scene good for black males who don't mind branching out of their race? In DC, the dating scene is great for black females, but abysmal for black males unless you want some hoodrat.
-Are there good job opportunities for blacks who have a college degree and work experience, or is there some good-ol-boy system that's rampant? I know jobs in SD in general are hard to come by, so I'll take that into perspective.
-Can a black person live anywhere they please and be genuinely welcomed (not just tolerated) as long as they don't look like someone who just came back from either robbing a bank or from a Lil Wayne concert?

I love the beaches, layout, and especially the weather and laid-back atmosphere of SD. And I would love to experience a place like such without having to move to Australia to avoid the racial prejudice.

San Diego is perfect for you...welcome to my city

[RaRa425]

Is it the same sort of dating scene for AA women who are not opposed to dating outside of the AA race? Im from NYC and usually date white men, I just wonder if the dating scene will be as hard for me as it seems it has been for some of the previous female posters?

BTW Im really glad this forum is here, I have been wanting to move for a while so I am saving and planning, and being from NYC I have a very mixed group of friends (I tend to describe us as the UN) so have friends from different backgrounds is important to me, more so than identifying with only AAs because its not what I am accustomed to. Any feedback?

Also is there really no hair salons? Where would be the farthest I would have to travel to get my hair done?

[stargazzer]

This thread is amazing.

If I say......I am a white man and I really am only looking to
date Asian women , then posters , how am i not being racist and insulting against the
white female..?
Of course this is racism at the height of rudeness. Talk about rejection over color or race.

With above, attitude, how can I then go to a community and say....are you guys racist ?
I am a racist trying to avoid racism.....
Is this what this thread is all about??????

[Oerdin]

Originally Posted by RaRa425

Is it the same sort of dating scene for AA women who are not opposed to dating outside of the AA race? Im from NYC and usually date white men, I just wonder if the dating scene will be as hard for me as it seems it has been for some of the previous female posters?

BTW Im really glad this forum is here, I have been wanting to move for a while so I am saving and planning, and being from NYC I have a very mixed group of friends (I tend to describe us as the UN) so have friends from different backgrounds is important to me, more so than identifying with only AAs because its not what I am accustomed to. Any feedback?

Also is there really no hair salons? Where would be the farthest I would have to travel to get my hair done?

I would say most people here age 35 or under have a very racially mixed group of friends just because they grew up in racially mixed neighborhoods, went to racially mixed schools, and work in racially mixed companies. Of my 8 closest friends who grew up here, 6 are married with 3 in inter racial marriages and two of us are still not married. The population as a whole is about 60% male and 40% female so I'd have to say from simply an odds stand point women get much more of "their pick" compared to the average guy here though once again being open to the idea of inter racial dating significantly improves the odds for everyone.

[4sdSince81]

Originally Posted by RaRa425

Is it the same sort of dating scene for AA women who are not opposed to dating outside of the AA race? Im from NYC and usually date white men, I just wonder if the dating scene will be as hard for me as it seems it has been for some of the previous female posters?

BTW Im really glad this forum is here, I have been wanting to move for a while so I am saving and planning, and being from NYC I have a very mixed group of friends (I tend to describe us as the UN) so have friends from different backgrounds is important to me, more so than identifying with only AAs because its not what I am accustomed to. Any feedback?

Also is there really no hair salons? Where would be the farthest I would have to travel to get my hair done?

San Diego in general(the west coast pretty much) has pretty open interracial dating you will see it across all color and sex lines(more brothas date outside because i dont think as many sistas LIKE to date outside)

there ARE hair salons...there just arent nearly as many as you'll be accustomed to...my mom my grandma my aunts all go to different salons(if you do move message me and I can give you contact info for a few)

and yeah in SD you will have friends of different races...especially if youre AA...you have to go out of your way in San Diego to only have AA friends.

[charese80]

I am a well educated AA female in my 40's transferring to SD with my sons who are in their 20's. I've been to SD many times and recently spent 2 weeks there interviewing staff for my new office and house hunting. I mainly stayed in the La Jolla & University City area. I saw many AA males and females driving in the area, shopping at stores, eating at restaurants, and staying at the hotel in the La Jolla area. Basically, LIVING their lives. No, it is not ATL or DC but there were many people of all races everywhere. My sons have friends of all races and are looking forward to living in SD. We have lived in many areas of the country (South, East, North) and I was simply looking for a decent area to live, work and play PERIOD...and found a beautiful place in La Jolla and will be moving there Aug 16th. Soon there will be three more AA's when my sons and I arrive. My advice for anyone moving anywhere....there are problems anywhere you go....just live your life and be willing to open your mind to new experiences.

[westcoastbabe]

If you dont mind me asking...was it hard for you to network being out of state... I find I have that problem since I am not there.

[MovingOn2010]

Do you think this tread is valid? It has been a year. Info

[charese80]

I have not done very much networking. With the internet and cell phones it was very easy. The agency I work for is in the federal service and we had a national job announcement and received applicants from all over the country. Some we flew into San Diego to interview from other parts of the country.