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If family and friends are important to you, Id suggest staying in NJ...Thats something the east coast has over the west coast, insanely strong tight knit bonds with friends and family....it doesn't suck, you just think that way because you need to get out...I did too, so i moved to SD, stayed 2 years, just moved back recently with a whole new respect for NJ....Our beaches are more beautiful in my opinion, our streets aren't littered with hoards of people carrying 30 packs to the beach...NJ is a very conservative state....Maybe you just live in a boring part? I live in Edison...I'm 40 min to the beach, 1hr to the mountains, 1 hr to the Delaware river....NJ has everything SD has to offer...Beaches, mountains, lakes, rivers, college towns, bar scene etc oh and we don't have homeless anywhere..SD is filled with homeless, it's sad...it's all here, and it's not filled with crazy wackos like san diego... maybe you just need to get out of here for a little while to expand your mind....just my .02 cents...
Hmmm.. another transplant who stayed all of two measly years and has expert opinions on SD beaches. So you spent most weekends on them? All over? Some parts of the year here in paradise aren't exactly bathing suit weather ya know Watching people carrying 30 packs to the beach? You spent too much time in PB and on the boardwalk in MB. You remind me of San Phlegmatico with these comments. Those areas are just scratching the surface in the scheme of SD beach knowledge. Try North County beaches, or IB and Coronado. Some of the most relaxing beaches you will ever find. You harp on the homeless population but they're harmless except for the occasional panhandles you get. Big Deal. In a city this damn expensive you've gotta expect that. Sometimes I'll buy them a Jumbo Jack or a Bean Burrito... they always appreciate it..
Have fun in NJ... sounds like quite the paradise. Fact is, anywhere family and friends are will be most comfortable for the majority of folks....I have quite the tight bond with my family here if I do say so... If I move elsewhere I'll expect to feel a bit out of place...
If family and friends are important to you, Id suggest staying in NJ...Thats something the east coast has over the west coast, insanely strong tight knit bonds with friends and family....it doesn't suck, you just think that way because you need to get out...I did too, so i moved to SD, stayed 2 years, just moved back recently with a whole new respect for NJ....Our beaches are more beautiful in my opinion, our streets aren't littered with hoards of people carrying 30 packs to the beach...NJ is a very conservative state....Maybe you just live in a boring part? I live in Edison...I'm 40 min to the beach, 1hr to the mountains, 1 hr to the Delaware river....NJ has everything SD has to offer...Beaches, mountains, lakes, rivers, college towns, bar scene etc oh and we don't have homeless anywhere..SD is filled with homeless, it's sad...it's all here, and it's not filled with crazy wackos like san diego... maybe you just need to get out of here for a little while to expand your mind....just my .02 cents...
I would have to strongly agree with this statement. I moved to Orange County, Irvine to be exact, from the NJ Shore 6 months ago after living there my entire life. My biggest gripe was the cold and needed a change of place, love to golf, and love warm weather. I was gonna do SD first, downtown, but I wound up moving to irvine/newport beach area in oc. I absolutely LOVE LOVE the weather but the few points mentioned above and friends, focus on good people, and family, not really so out here on the west coast. Southern California is a different breed totally from NJ whether sd, oc, or la, most of the people have mixed up priorities compared to what most people in nj value (good friends, family, reliable people, people who do what they say they are going to, and people more interested in the general well being of others) out here most of the people i met, specifically the women, are concerned with money, cars, who u are, status, and purses and clothes, is sickening. the conversations suck out here. i hear oc is a bit worse then sd but i dunno i hear mixed reviews.
regarding the homelessness issue, i saw much of it during the day in downtown sd, pacific beach sort of looked dumpy to me as well, there are some gem places in sd but then u will be living in suburban areas with just the beach, little or no nightlife. i dunno i go back and forth in my head frequently out here b/c i miss the legit people on the east coast, italian food, and focus on the golden rule...out here selfishness seems to rule its sad. culture is lacking too b/c the communities are so new, even more so in oc....i do agree that the beaches are nicer in NJ... the color of the water particularly in laguna beach is amazing but the beach and sand itself stinks (little sand area, and strange color/dirty looking) i think the sd beaches have even less sand and not as pretty as oc beaches.
golf is great out here with the year round weather as well as most outdoor activities. most people are on the up and spend most of their weekends outdoors. sports are huge out here and the san diego chargers, san diego padres, anaheim of la or whatever they call 'em angels and dodgers are very big out here. athletes are great i think the weather and yr round ability to practice has a lot to do with that. people love usc out here, theres a big debate between usc vs. ucla, they call usc the univ. of spoiled children lol. fish tacos are AMAZING, u gotta try em out here if u visit, mexican food is phenomenal, in nj i thought taco bell was mexican lol, nothing compares to it out here! seafood is great, there are many places that cater with service and putting a focus on serving people and upscale vibes. sometimes its annoying b/c at my grocery store the people always ask if i need help walking my groceries to my car, i think a lot of people are raised up relying on others in cali opposed to nj being self reliant and thrifty...people are big on paying extra for valet or service related items. financial industries thrive out here, financial services, real estate, investment banking, all good ideas for careers out here... people love to talk about their money.
downtown sd is really neat, the gaslamp area is very fun for the 20's/early 30's crowd, and tons of nice restaurants in the downtown area. i am not familiar much with the small towns outside of downtown so maybe someone could comment on them? i drove through pch last week and saw many nice places like carlsbad, cardiff by the sea, encinitas, delmar, la jolla, etc. these areas all looked nice. i would compare carlsbad to spring lake nj and del mar to laguna beach ca, and la jolla village area to newport center/fashion island area of newport beach..
there are tons of great places to eat in cali and people are big on healthy lifestyles, also boob jobs lol. my biggest gripe is the infatuation with material items by most of the people i meet and the women's obsession of status for men and what they do for a living, car they drive, and zip code they live in, pretty much superficial would be the word to sum it up. other than that when people ask me hows im doing out here (after 6 months of being here) i comment highly on the weather, the great places to eat, the clean town/area i live in, the fact that there is little or no crime (orange county) sd i think is dif, espec downtown i hear car theft and roberry is a big one not to mention occasional gang bangers, but that is more depending on what street u are on just like anywhere. if u love to golf, be outside, relax at the pool, enjoy sunshine, tan at beach, and be outside a lot california is great. if u have a strong personality like i do, super picky, critical, and expect a lot/demanding of who u meet and picky of what friends u make, it might be hard to like it after a few months. i hear from a lot of people tho after a yr or 2 u learn to adapt or at least learn to go about your biz without letting the nuances affect u as much. when i first moved here i was really frustrated but after 6 months im coming around a bit and keep realizing that october is around the corner and on several occassions back home in nj i could be gearing up for the first snowfalls and deicing my windshield. NO THANK U!!
If there are any nj/ny/east coast transplants out here in cali sd/oc/la and are in your mid 20's-early 30's and like to golf or whatever, hit me up. i belong to a country club in oc and im always looking to meet good people. thanks.
I grew up on LI and find people there just as obsessed with materialism as they are here. Instead of Porsches and boob jobs, it's country clubs and vacations. in CA it's all a little bit more conspicuous.
Yes people in CA can be flaky and shallow. However people in NY/NJ can be downright obnoxious. It's a tradeoff for sure. A lot of East Coasters fail to realize that those "lifelong dependable friends" are just the people you grew up with your whole life. You will never replace them anywhere.
The big difference to me is that people in CA are not nearly as judgemental. They do not particularly care what school you went to. They don't really care who your dad was or how long you've lived in town. People in CA are much more accepting of others, especially different races and cultures, in a way NJ/LI/NY will never be.
My advice: do not live in Orange County. It's like moving to Port Washington or the Hamptons. The real people - the charm and the heart of SoCal - is in it's middle and working class urban areas.
if u have a strong personality like i do, super picky, critical, and expect a lot/demanding of who u meet and picky of what friends u make, it might be hard to like it after a few months. i hear from a lot of people tho after a yr or 2 u learn to adapt or at least learn to go about your biz without letting the nuances affect u as much.
It has taken me way, way longer than 2 years. I some ways I am a stereotypical New Yorker. I never shut up. I yap and yap. I am sarcastic, critical, and love to laugh and make jokes at everything. I am also quick to grasp and process information and can be impatient with those who take longer.
Socially, I get along great. In business, it has been a huge challenge. I have to consciously tone down my expectations of my staff and peers. I have to constantly bite my tongue at people who can't or won't get the job done. In NYC, I would be considered "laid back" compared to the screaming matches that go down on a daily basis back there.
Most of the CA people you meet are from the southwest and the midwest. Compared to the Eastern Seaboard, they move slowly. They speak slowly. The work ethic is not the same. Especially in San Diego, a lot of people would really be barely employable elsewhere. But the tight job markets here mean that almost anyone with some experience can land a good job.
After almost 12 years in SD I am still a New Yorker at heart. I miss it deeply, especially my family and longtime friends. I even seriously considered a return there. But the lifestyle here is so good. It's so easy to succeed here. If you are smart, well-presented, and work hard you will steamroll the competition. You can live in a real house in a real neighborhood and be 5 minutes from world-class everything. You can be outside all year-round, every year, forever.
A lot of people come out and make it a year or two before they go home. For the most part, I find they are driven away because of the cost-of-living. People from expensive places (east coasters esp) tend to come and stay forever.
I was interested in reading about your NY connections, Sassberto (above). I spent most of my adult years in Manhattan and after my husband died, several more in Dutchess County. Have been in CA only five months (hope to relocate to SD by late spring), and I too sometimes wonder if I'll ever miss the East Coast -- especially the quick-witted NYC types. (I've Mercury in Aries, and was able to keep up with the best of them. :-)
But then I remember why I moved out here in the first place -- those damn freezing cold winters! Just couldn't hack them any longer -- don't like being trapped indoors just because the weather is too miserable to venture out. I gotta get outdoors and walk!
As for Manhattan itself... just as we grow and change, so does it. I realize I can never relive those wonderful years when I first lived in the Mid-town area in my early twenties. And now, decades later, I wouldn't have the desire to keep up with the pace. No, my philosophy is: wherever we are now, is where we are supposed to be.
I was interested in reading about your NY connections, Sassberto (above). I spent most of my adult years in Manhattan and after my husband died, several more in Dutchess County. Have been in CA only five months (hope to relocate to SD by late spring), and I too sometimes wonder if I'll ever miss the East Coast -- especially the quick-witted NYC types. (I've Mercury in Aries, and was able to keep up with the best of them. :-)
But then I remember why I moved out here in the first place -- those damn freezing cold winters! Just couldn't hack them any longer -- don't like being trapped indoors just because the weather is too miserable to venture out. I gotta get outdoors and walk!
As for Manhattan itself... just as we grow and change, so does it. I realize I can never relive those wonderful years when I first lived in the Mid-town area in my early twenties. And now, decades later, I wouldn't have the desire to keep up with the pace. No, my philosophy is: wherever we are now, is where we are supposed to be.
Over 60, where are you living now? I too moved to California mainly b/c the weather, I moved from NJ 6 months go, but I am in Orange County in the irvine/newport area. I'm having a tough time dealing with the personalities of the people out here, more so the girls I meet, most of them seem ditzy, stuck up, unintelligent, slow whitted contrary to the east coast pick things up quick and gutsy/fend for themselves type. everyone seems to have things catered to them and they like to have guys do everyone for them and it seems like the women act like jerks to everyone and cannot hold any real convos outside of the newest purse, celebrity gossip or what shoes to buy this week. its frustration.
is it better in SD??!?! helpppppp i've been in OC for 6 months and im getting very frustrated and scared i made the wrong move to oc instead of sd. if sd is better, what parts are cool to be for upscale living, fun nightlife, good clean neighborhood, and quality of life without gangs, drugs, break ins, car theft, crime (or less risk of that). main focus is where are the down to earth communities and less stuck up areas in so cal?im right by newport and it seems to be the worst of the worst!
Don't move to San Diego if you will miss real pizza and good deli sandwiches--also no one here knows what a real summer tomato or corn-on-the-cob tastes like. If you are a Democrat, be aware that this is a very conservative area (unless you can afford to live in the city neigborhoods (North Park, Hillcrest), which are more liberal). Also, everything costs more here (dairy products, gas, bread, even produce), although rent is probably comparable to NY. Can you tell I miss the East coast, even after 10 years? But you can't complain about the weather.
Maybe it's the weather, but people here will accept almost anything without complaint, whether it is bad food in a restaurant or corruption in city government. If this does not bother you, you will be fine. I have not adjusted after 10 years. People are much more intense in NY, NJ, CT and MA. What is a lively discussion on the East coast sounds to people here like an argument. It is something you have to remember socially and at work, because others will get the wrong impression of you if you don't tone it down.
Don't move to San Diego if you will miss real pizza and good deli sandwiches--also no one here knows what a real summer tomato or corn-on-the-cob tastes like.
You can get those things here now... but you have to dig to find them. It took me years to find a steady and high-quality supply of bagels and pizza.
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Watching people carrying 30 packs to the beach? You spent too much time in PB and on the boardwalk in MB. You remind me of San Phlegmatico with these comments. Those areas are just scratching the surface in the scheme of SD beach knowledge. Try North County beaches, or IB and Coronado. Some of the most relaxing beaches you will ever find. You harp on the homeless population but they're harmless except for the occasional panhandles you get. Big Deal. In a city this damn expensive you've gotta expect that. Sometimes I'll buy them a Jumbo Jack or a Bean Burrito... they always appreciate it..
advice from former East Coaster
