Duaghter intent on going to Coronado (San Diego, San Marcos: health insurance, credit, home)

[eileenp]

Daughter is 20 and sophomore at UNH and is intent on following her boyfriend to Coronado while he goes into 2nd stretch of Navy Seals training.This announcement was made a week ago and she told us she could take a semester off and still retain her credits earned to return to Univ of NH next year. She will lose family insurance if not in College full time and she drives but avoids highways that are so much less risky in NH than in Ca. I am looking for advice as to where the closest universities to Seals training are .She is currently a Creative Writing major.Obviously I need to look into Univ transfers ASAP so any info is welcome.Also what about her registering her car and what are the requirements for the free college education there in case he has ti stay in Coronado and not able to come back east. Are there any work opportunities in that vicinity as well and are there any state insurance plans for someone young if she decides to go to work instead of attending univ right away. Any other useful info is appreciated as time is of the essence at this point Thanks so much

[kettlepot]

Traditional Universities:

Point Loma Nazerene - Private, religiously affiliated
University of San Diego - Private, Catholic affiliated
University of California, San Diego - Public
San Diego State University, Public
California State University, San Marcos, Public (too far away from Coronado)

There is no free college education in California. Tuition, books and activity and parking fees will probably run $3k - 6k a semester at the public schools for California residents. Lots more for non-residents. I'm not sure how long it takes to gain residency for the instate tuition. I see people talking about sitting out one semester. Check the websites of the above mentioned schools for details.

The cost of registering her car will depend on it's age and original purchase price. If it's over 10 years old, it should probably only cost $300 or so. Yearly registration costs after that will be less than $100, probably about $70 - if it's over 10 years old.

There are plenty of jobs of various sorts, mostly low-paying of course. Higher pay depends on what she can do.

She definitely needs health insurance, regardless of her general health and accident risks. A part-time job would no doubt be without benefits, but she might be able to purchase insurance at group rates from her employer. She should ask as part of the interview process. Or she should look into catastrophic coverage that will cover her if something really bad happens. I'm unaware of what state programs would be available for her.

Given the rigors of seal training, I can't imagine her boyfriend will rarely if ever be allowed to see her for the first month or so. Perhaps a SEAL veteran could elaborate further or her boyfriend could make inquiries. She should definitely hold off coming to San Diego until she can actually see her boyfriend, otherwise she'll be in San Diego without actually seeing the person she came to be with. The other thing is, either 1/3, or 2/3s of trainees wash out. This relocation could end very quickly and unexpectedly.

[iHEARTsd]

I understand that your daughter has made up her mind about coming out here to be with her boyfriend. Make sure she is aware that she...

1. Still will not see her her B/F very much, and when she does he will be beat tired (not much fun).
2. Unless she already knows people out here, she will be very lonely. It's very hard to make girlfriends out here, especially if you are in a relationship.
3. I hate to say it, but her boyfriend could be released from the SEALS program at anytime.

My boyfriend just recently went through the SEALS program and it was a really difficult time. I am from San Diego so I was lucky enough to have my friends, family, and his family around for support.
I would hate for your daughter to go through all the trouble and expense of relocating out here, just to be unhappy.
However, if she does come out here the nearest schools are Point Loma, University of San Diego (USD), San Diego State University (SDSU), and University of California San Diego (UCSD). She isn't a California resident, so all of these schools are going to be SUPER expensive!
My advice to her would be to live in Coronado, Ocean Beach, Point Loma, or Pacific Beach. Go to school at SDSU or UCSD (which ever one will transfer more easily to her school), and try to get into their extention services program (that's where you don't have to apply to the university you just crash classes and pay a little under $200 per unit, with a 6 or 9 unit max). If these universities don't transfer to her school back at home, then I would say just move down here and look for a full time job on craigslist.org to keep busy. She will have A LOT of time on her hands.

[LAAFTERHOURS]

My buddy is a Sr Chief instructor for the BUDS program. He has a wife and three kids but Seals demand all of your time when going through the program. I would tell her to stay in college and come visit for planned time off, when it happens. He wont have time for anyone or anything else so she shouldnt need to worry about him out here on his own.

[Radical347]

Possible relationship issues aside--wouldn't you rather go to college in San Diego than New Hampshire?

[LAAFTERHOURS]

Originally Posted by Radical347

Possible relationship issues aside--wouldn't you rather go to college in San Diego than New Hampshire?

For sure - I wish I could do it all over. I would have gone to ASU or U of A over school in NY state. Living in PB in college - prob would have failed out.

[pj.poway]

We were married 3 years when dh went to BUDS, it was very difficult moving to SD during Phase II. I rarely saw him and he was exhausted, not to mention hungry and DIRTY with a ton of dirty uniforms. He was in class of 88 (long time ago ha ha) but he was told NOT to bring me during Phase I. There are so many challenges ahead for dbf and stress and dedication to the training and the TEAM. He needs to concentrate and not 'take care' of anyone and I mean that in an ever-so-nice way. I wanted to see SD and share it with him and he had to focus. This was his dream and I needed to respect that and support that. I remained at Mom's in AZ for Phase I and II and came over for III. It was still a gamble. They dropped a guy the day before graduation. Class started with about 130 guys and graduated 24. I am not being pessimistic that he won't achieve his goal BUT my dh needed all of his strength and will to challenge BUDS and make it. It has served him well all these years. And if dbf rings out, he will be transferred elsewhere immediately. Oh and after graduation, they head out for jump school and a bunch of other training and are rarely in town. Your dd needs to be prepared to love our city!!! and be willing to care for herself. My best dd&frog.

[eileenp]

I Thank everyone for all the good advice and I am printing it for her and him to read.He is returning today from basic training .She seems to think he will go to training till 2 pm daily and be home on weekends This is what he said but That sounds absurd. I have been told by University NH that she can still be a part of school and take a leave of absence if she can get an internship in something related to "writing" Her major is Creative Writing.That way she would not lose her health insurance either. Of course we know no one in San Diego so I don`t know where to start to find her a position ..job that will count as credit for her semester.I wish they would wake up and see that all she needs to do is wait 3 months to finish out the semester after Christmas break. I am feeling so lost They are so young and I know this will probably ruin their relationship.

[navyboy]

I went through buds training almost two years ago. I had a girlfriend that lived in La Jolla, CA and went to UCSD but we broke up soon after I started first phase. Luckily she already lived in Cali and didn't have to relocate. It was for the best though. It was an added stress that I did not need. I realize your daughter is young and in love and the idea of living the beach life out in California can be very alluring but relocating in the middle of college would be a huge mistake. The number one reason for people quitting is they are having issues at home. If she loves her boyfriend she will support him from New Hampshire and let him concentrate on getting through BUDs. It's a full time job. Even when he gets off at the end of the day at 5 or 6 oclock he has to get his gear prepped for the next day which can last from 9 to midnight and then he has to get up anywhere from 3 to 5 the next morning. Even on the weekends he will sometimes have a Sunday muster and the rest of the time he will be sleeping. She may as well stay in NH because she will see him just as rarely. He needs total concentration and any spare time he has should be spent getting to know his teammates and icing his injuries. Even in second phase there is pool comp, which is hell week part two and god knows how many night dives. In third phase he will be gone for five weeks on an island with hardly any communication to the outside world. And after graduation forget it. It's off to one school after another until the end of SQT. I'm sure that the lady whose husband is a buds instrucor can attest to the countless young boys he's seen drop out because of immature relationship problems. Your daughter's priority should be getting college overwith and then concentrate on her relationship. I wish him and your daughter the best of luck and I hope to see him in the teams.

[GratefulDeb]

I am moving there also with my 21 year old daughter. She will be out of college by then but maybe we can have them talk online and they can get together. My duaghter won't kknow anybody either.