Unexpected Sadness (San Diego: transplants, unemployed, school)

[AshleesAlterEgo]

There are a lot of clubs, you are right about that. I'm glad to hear that it took you some time to settle in. It's tough. I miss the comfort of home and family and friends. But Michigan weather is brutal, and was too much for me to handle. I'll keep trying and see if things come up.

[malcorub16]

Yup, most of who are not from here and know virtually no-one struggle with loneliness when they move here at least for a year as was said above. The main differences between you and myself 10 years ago, is that I came with a job lined up after applying from afar. So I was lonely for a while, but at least had a job to get me by and to meet people.

If you do move back home to Michigan, you could always look for a job from home and hopefully if you land something you are interested in, and then you could come back out.

[lterease]

Hi AshleesAlterEgo,

I grew up in MI and hated the cold and long winter months. I've lived in the South for sixteen years now. Hope to move to SD in the next few months. I know no-one! However, I am so excited to be able to discover a new city. Yes, I'm excited to meet new people, but for me, just taking in what all SD has to offer is what I am most excited about. I am also in graduate school and will be working a full time job. So, although like you, I may experience loneliness initially, I believe keeping busy will help thrwart most of it. Mind you, I plan to do the Meetup thing in addition to joining a local church. I am so excited to be embarking on a new life. Just today I wrote down all of the things I want to experience after relocating there. Like others have said, I give it a year. My plan is to also return to my home in the South at least every 2 months for a week-end to alleviate any longings for 'home'. Yes, it will be hard to change locations and leave behind what I've known for so long, but life is meant to be enjoyed. My motto is "we only live once, so go for it!". As far as your friend and her daughter, I'm sure skype can help with the distance. I also encourage you to give it more time. :-)) I admire your courage!

[USDefault]

Originally Posted by sacite

So, your statement made no sense to begin with. No one is paying interest on their own savings, and the government is not lending money to invest. It was a flat out dumb comment. As if college aged students have enough money and market savvy to invest in anything regardless.

And this is where you are dead wrong. I've had interns leave to make great money in the Dakotas and Texas working in energy, including on rigs and in transport. If you can pass a **** test and have no DUI, you can make great money hauling. Great money, even for people just starting out. I've also had a couple jump up into Canada to work on the pipelines, and they are pulling down six figures a year in.

That's just one example in one industry.

Second, everyone is struggling now - not just college grads.

I'm not. My colleagues are not. You know why? I'm not bogged down with idiot debt from laughably overpriced colleges (for starters). Also not bogged down by the idiocy of a thirty-year mortgage, credit cards, car loans, or any of it. Many people in this country are financially illiterate. Trillions in educational, consumer, home and personal debt confirms it. Confirms it.

Quit telling people to give up just because it fits your ridiculous nonstop anti-government rants.

No one said to give up. No one. I did say, do something else -- do something smarter -- than hand over hundreds of thousands of dollars for some worthless degree.

Since you have the key to success, why don't you open up a trade school and fund it with 2% interest student loans. Or do something other than whine, Mr. Successful business owner.

No.

Or hey, better yet - tell people how fail safe the housing and stock market is. . .Whoops ;(

Direct your comments to the government, including the stock and housing pumpers at the Federal Reserve, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, the student debtlovers at Sallie Mae, and every other institution blowing billions and billions of dollars this country doesn't have. All of them government or quasi-government institutions. All of them bankrupt -- just like California's pensions.

[rosa surf]

Originally Posted by sacite

First off, you took a chance. Give yourself credit for that. Moving isn't easy! I am a very social person and I felt awkward and out of place for an entire year when I moved. People that make it sound easy are often times people that run from problems or are unable to connect with people in the first place.

Second, you need to get a job at a coffee shop, restaurant, or somewhere that pays 'something'. Doing so will help you meet people, will keep your mind occupied, and will help you to feel as though you are progressing, even if in small steps.

Last, go out and do things for YOU. I was in the exact same place as you a couple yrs ago. Single, just going to bars, wondering how to make real friends. I was so lonely. It all changed when I began to work on myself. I got involved in music. I started doing yoga. I went skydiving. Hiking. Pretty soon I started to make connections with peoole without even trying, becauae they were of like mind.

Seriously, take some of these steps. YOU can change things. Don't wait for other people to make you happy.

And BTW, your degree was not a waste. It will pay off sooner or later. Keep your head up girl!

I think this is the best advice. Trust me, ALOT of people have been in your position. I finished grad school when the economy tanked and couldn't find a job. I had to end up swallowing my pride and got a part-time job in retail for $9.50/hr. I worked hard to keep applying for jobs and slowly moved into something better.

Tale advantage of free stuff and do what sacite said- I got into hiking, going to the library and found free excercise and meditation classes. This led to meeting very nice balanced people and I learned to just take things one day at a time. You really need to just take control of your life and not let yourself fall into a black hole. Also, excercise and nature are HUGE destressers. It is amazing what outdoors activities can do for you.

Good luck and hang in there!

[AADAD]

This is a very good thread. Nice peeps.

[NorthSDLifer]

Originally Posted by USDefault

And this is where you are dead wrong. I've had interns leave to make great money in the Dakotas and Texas working in energy, including on rigs and in transport. If you can pass a **** test and have no DUI, you can make great money hauling. Great money, even for people just starting out. I've also had a couple jump up into Canada to work on the pipelines, and they are pulling down six figures a year in.

That's just one example in one industry.



I'm not. My colleagues are not. You know why? I'm not bogged down with idiot debt from laughably overpriced colleges (for starters). Also not bogged down by the idiocy of a thirty-year mortgage, credit cards, car loans, or any of it. Many people in this country are financially illiterate. Trillions in educational, consumer, home and personal debt confirms it. Confirms it.



No one said to give up. No one. I did say, do something else -- do something smarter -- than hand over hundreds of thousands of dollars for some worthless degree.



No.



Direct your comments to the government, including the stock and housing pumpers at the Federal Reserve, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, the student debtlovers at Sallie Mae, and every other institution blowing billions and billions of dollars this country doesn't have. All of them government or quasi-government institutions. All of them bankrupt -- just like California's pensions.

Seriously, USD, if you were king, I wonder if we'd have a much smaller deficit but 30 percent unemployment and two-mile-long soup lines. If 30-year mortgages are so bad, may I ask about your housing costs? Did you save and make enough to buy a house outright? Do you, gasp, rent?

[sacite]

OpB

Originally Posted by USDefault

And this is where you are dead wrong. I've had interns leave to make great money in the Dakotas and Texas working in energy, including on rigs and in transport. If you can pass a **** test and have no DUI, you can make great money hauling. Great money, even for people just starting out. I've also had a couple jump up into Canada to work on the pipelines, and they are pulling down six figures a year in.

That's just one example in one industry.



I'm not. My colleagues are not. You know why? I'm not bogged down with idiot debt from laughably overpriced colleges (for starters). Also not bogged down by the idiocy of a thirty-year mortgage, credit cards, car loans, or any of it. Many people in this country are financially illiterate. Trillions in educational, consumer, home and personal debt confirms it. Confirms it.



No one said to give up. No one. I did say, do something else -- do something smarter -- than hand over hundreds of thousands of dollars for some worthless degree.



No.



Direct your comments to the government, including the stock and housing pumpers at the Federal Reserve, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, the student debtlovers at Sallie Mae, and every other institution blowing billions and billions of dollars this country doesn't have. All of them government or quasi-government institutions. All of them bankrupt -- just like California's pensions.

I will not continue because we are detracting from the thread. My best friend handed over a couple hundred thousand for an idiot law degree and now he is making 6 idiot figures. So I guess it works for some people.

You are a big talker. Use big words. Talk about big, important collegues. But we are talking about a girl that wants support, not criticism of her college degree. I applaud her degree, her guts to move and her effort. She will be a success story too if she keeps trying.

Btw, to each their own. I am sure some people love driving truck or working in an oil rig or being a garbage man. A lot of other people want more intellectual stimulation or freedom to pursue other options down the line. A college degree provides both. Please don't waste your time trying to prove that "hauling" provides either by posting another link. Or feel free - I'm done with this debate.

[sfosyd]

I think San Diego is particularly tough for new grads and for entry level type jobs. The idea of moving to San Diego is not original. Many people who have no ties, i.e. a good job, decide that living in San Diego would be a great idea and they don't want to deal with the cold weather in whatever place they are coming from. "Hey, I am making $10 an hour in Boise, why not move to SD and make $10 an hour and not freeze anymore, so what it's a little more expensive, I'll save on clothing and utilities" Or "Hey, I might as well start off my career in a place I want to be". What these folks fail to realize is that EVERYONE gets these ideas and employers can really pick and choose who they want and not offer compensation in line with the costs of living. The competition in San Diego is brutal, probably the worst in the country, even for not so great jobs.

In my opinion, the people who do best in San Diego are people at the top of their game, for example, they have many years of experience at a great company or have published or have some other distinguishing feature. Even these folks have to take a hit with the sunshine tax and high costs but they feel it is worth it for the weather.

Anyway, it's not you and don't blame yourself. My advice would be to keep your options open: if you like California, look all over the state for opportunities but don't limit yourself to San Diego. Everyone likes San Diego and everyone wants to move there. Not everyone wants to move to LA or San Jose....I've found it makes a difference... which is why I am on the east coast and I work for a great company that lets me spend a few months a year in SD. Good luck!

[DinsdalePirahna]

first thing I did after I moved here was get involved in some sort of club...

I was a very active rower on the east coast - I joined the local rowing club and got very involved as a coach, board member and competitor. Twenty-some years later these people are still my friends