SF perspective on visiting other places (San Diego, San Francisco: transplants, rent, home)

[confusedasusual]

Okay, I am going to get routed here and I know it, but I need some real insight.

First, I love SF and lived there for several years. Circumstances have taken me all over the place, to multiples cities and jobs. I love meeting people from the Bay Area and chatting about changes, friends I have who still live there, current events etc. Given the chance to go back, I would seriously consider it.

BUT (and this is why you are going to attack), invariably, I find a certain (dare I say) snobbery among current SF residents. For example, if the place I am currently living (no matter where) is "green" (in the environmental sense) its NEVER green enough, and certainly not as green as SF. Instead of chatting about how to get there or steps my town is taking to decrease our collective carbon footprint, there is a real sense of disdain for lack of progress.

Also, if I eat healthily (and I sincerely try) it is never quite strict/raw/vegan or paleo enough for my SF colleagues. Recently I had friends visit from SF who did nothing but decry the local cuisine in my current community. Much of this criticism was shared, but it got to a level where I felt it over the top. And no matter how flexible my job, my counterparts in SF constantly "pity" me for not being able to work from home 100% of the time.

Perhaps I have bad luck, bad judgement in people. That could be the case. And again, I am not trolling. I just wonder if anyone else has run into these sorts of opinions.

[rkwalton]

You're just associating with a bunch of jerks. Not everyone is like that in San Francisco. Hell, now I live in Berkeley, which is supposed to be worse, and I simply DON'T waste time with judgmental people like that.

Find some new friends.

[sav858]

Originally Posted by confusedasusual

invariably, I find a certain (dare I say) snobbery among current SF residents.......

Perhaps I have bad luck, bad judgement in people. That could be the case. And again, I am not trolling. I just wonder if anyone else has run into these sorts of opinions.

I've definitely run into similar attitudes and based on other people's experiences it doesn't seem to be a rarity either. It's kind of a stereotype/generalization but has truth to it.

Some people seem to think the Bay Area is the best at everything and does everything the best. Also some people seem to get defensive when you talk about another city. If you like another city almost as much or just as much as the Bay Area or even worse like it more some people will take that as some insult and get defensive, even if you said nothing disparaging about the Bay Area.

Among my friends I know who I can freely talk about things I don't care for here and about other places I like as much. Then there are some who I would never try to have a conversation like that with because they're too much of a homer.

Snobbery is nothing new from some in the Bay Area and is kind of a trademark of the area. But as someone else mentioned, many people aren't like that. Depends who you hang around with. Personally I don't have too much of an issue and it's not something that occurs a lot but I do share people's frustration in how irritating it can be when it does occur.


Just a little sidenote/story about the we are the best at everything attitude. So I was watching the SF "Drinking Made Easy" episode where they go around and explore the cities drinking culture with a friend. And we both noticed how pretty much every place they went was "the first to do" something. First to serve Irish Coffee (no the Buena Vista did not invent it), first Microbrewery, first place to serve Makers Mark on tap, first this, first that.... Me and my friend started joking how SF is basically the first to do EVERYTHING.

[clongirl]

Originally Posted by confusedasusual

Okay, I am going to get routed here and I know it, but I need some real insight.

First, I love SF and lived there for several years. Circumstances have taken me all over the place, to multiples cities and jobs. I love meeting people from the Bay Area and chatting about changes, friends I have who still live there, current events etc. Given the chance to go back, I would seriously consider it.

BUT (and this is why you are going to attack), invariably, I find a certain (dare I say) snobbery among current SF residents. For example, if the place I am currently living (no matter where) is "green" (in the environmental sense) its NEVER green enough, and certainly not as green as SF. Instead of chatting about how to get there or steps my town is taking to decrease our collective carbon footprint, there is a real sense of disdain for lack of progress.

Also, if I eat healthily (and I sincerely try) it is never quite strict/raw/vegan or paleo enough for my SF colleagues. Recently I had friends visit from SF who did nothing but decry the local cuisine in my current community. Much of this criticism was shared, but it got to a level where I felt it over the top. And no matter how flexible my job, my counterparts in SF constantly "pity" me for not being able to work from home 100% of the time.

Perhaps I have bad luck, bad judgement in people. That could be the case. And again, I am not trolling. I just wonder if anyone else has run into these sorts of opinions.

The reason is very simple. These people that act like this are not actually San Franciscans. They're blow-ins and carpetbaggers from one of the other states that try to "adapt" by being a-holes so they won't be associated with the folks back home.

Also, find better friends! Down to earth people are everywhere--they're usually Bay Area natives that don't have such insecurities.

[confusedasusual]

Its funny-- I even see it on here. Currently on one of the boards a recent SF transplant decried the lack of recycling in his/her new city. When natives said "no, there is recycling, you just have to request a container" the individual went on and on about how THAT city (and the state that contained it) was SO FAR BEHIND (other places are composting by now!) in a long post that mentioned a litany of other states and what their recyling percentages were. The question was asked, answered, but then it became a platform to talk about how other places suck compared to SF. Totally uncalled for.

My Bay Area friends were people I knew long before they moved to the Bay Area, and I have watched as over the years their attitudes have taken a distinct turn. But yeah, I think its kinda jerky.

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by clongirl

The reason is very simple. These people that act like this are not actually San Franciscans. They're blow-ins and carpetbaggers from one of the other states that try to "adapt" by being a-holes so they won't be associated with the folks back home.

Also, find better friends! Down to earth people are everywhere--they're usually Bay Area natives that don't have such insecurities.

^this. These types are almost always transplants rejected from god knows where. Not saying that SF doesn't try to be green and healthy but it also has a long history of being less than green and natives know this. Another thing about the natives is that by comparison fewer of them are vegans. In fact true natives here are often rather carnivorous as this can be seen in some of the local restaurant offerings. San Francisco has always attracted people who are not always in line with mainstream society at a given time. Whether they were crazy gold prospective, radical hippie types, yuppies or those who cannot be described. Alternative lifestyles seem to have always been drawn here. The true natives here tend to make better friends than these holier than thou types.

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by confusedasusual

Its funny-- I even see it on here. Currently on one of the boards a recent SF transplant decried the lack of recycling in his/her new city. When natives said "no, there is recycling, you just have to request a container" the individual went on and on about how THAT city (and the state that contained it) was SO FAR BEHIND (other places are composting by now!) in a long post that mentioned a litany of other states and what their recyling percentages were. The question was asked, answered, but then it became a platform to talk about how other places suck compared to SF. Totally uncalled for.

My Bay Area friends were people I knew long before they moved to the Bay Area, and I have watched as over the years their attitudes have taken a distinct turn. But yeah, I think its kinda jerky.

Well what you're doing right now isn't a whole lot different than what you're describing here. I'll be one of he first bay area people to admit that while the city is ahead of many others, it's also behind other places as well, namely Seattle. San Diego is almost caught up with recycling.

[rkwalton]

I was just at the California Academy of Science's bacon wrapped night a few weeks ago and one of the top chefs in the city, Chris Cosentino, gave a demonstration on how to carve up a pig.

There are some extreme people who get their rocks off on judging every place else as worse, but you get the same contingent of jerks in NYC and other cities. I don't know how many times I had to correct someone who pulled the "only in NYC" thing when it came to something as basic as a food truck. It's irritating no matter where you find it but you'll find it almost everywhere. It's what some people do to feel superior.

Again, find some new friends.

[mayorhaggar]

Most people in the Bay Area just complain about Bay Area things. Especially if you live in San Francisco. Complaining about the 3rd world level of service on Muni and poop on the street and the ironically coinciding high rent is a city-wide pasttime.

I think most people who insist that SF is the greatest thing ever are people who don't live there and just visit as tourists for a few weeks. I think if you actually live there for a few years the gems gradually fall from your eyes and you see what a pain in the ass the city can be, and you start to take the good things for granted.

One thing I do like is that unlike cities like Boston or Chicago, people in SF don't have a constant inferiority complex and obsess about what people in other cities think about them. SF people just don't care. I loved living in Chicago but the constant obsessing about NYC or LA or SF got really old.

[bigdumbgod]

Originally Posted by mayorhaggar

people in SF don't have a constant inferiority complex and obsess about what people in other cities think about them. SF people just don't care.

With one big exception: L.A.

SF people care way too much about all things L.A., which is basically the opposite sentiment felt in that city. This is often how one can identify a SF native. The transplants don't know much about the rivalry.

Transplant snobs who ride in on the smug cloud do so because they drove everybody crazy in their hometowns and were summarily kicked out. Thus, you have a 49-square-mile magnet for mod editanything Anytown USA coughs up, making it more likely to have the unfortunate experience of having to endure their obnoxious needling and ranting, trying really hard to out-smug each other. "Dude, I'm so way more left than you, man. You probably even a bank account and drive a car, huh?" Makes it a bit harder to separate the more genuine, decent progressive-minded people from the self-righteous, judgmental types.