Can a large family even live near Stanford?

[mayorhaggar]

As you are finding out, the Bay Area sucks for raising kids unless you're a zillionaire. I'd definitely figure out your budget and then look for places that fit it, but 80k a year will be really tough with five (!) kids. It would be tough with one kid. A house near Palo Alto is at least a million bucks, and somewhere like Fremont it's like $700,000 or so. Ouch! You could live somewhere like 2+ hours away but that is a long commute and a lot of $$$ to spend on gas.

[HockeyMac18]

Originally Posted by rlcg37

My husband is applying for a job at Stanford. I don't know if we'll get it or not, but if we do, we'll probably take it, which leaves us with some large practical concerns. We have five kids, ranging from kindergarten into high school, and um, wow, the housing costs are astronomical. We understand that buying a house (or even renting a house the size we live in now) is probably out of the question. We value seeing each other (ie shorter commute) over a luxurious house, but safety and price are large issues, too. How far away from Stanford do we have to look? It seems that nearly everyone posting on here who is looking for housing advice is childless or has one teeny tiny tot. We really can't fit into a one bedroom apartment! Are there family friendly areas where normal people can afford? Or are we looking at an hours-long commute every day? Suggestions?

I work at Stanford in a Genetics lab working on Bioinformatics stuff. I'm one of two people in the lab that are not a student/post-doc. As you would figure, the students/post-docs don't make very much.

Many of them are married and do have families (the biggest family in our lab is 4 kids, not as big as yours of 5). All but one family live outside of Palo Alto. Most live either south in Mountain View, Sunnyvale, parts of San Jose, or north in Redwood City, San Carlos/Belmont, San Mateo. We used to have one guy who lived with his family in Fremont and commuted across the Dumbarton Bridge every day (a pretty easy commute).

Additionally, since many of them do not get paid very much, most live in below-market apartments. Almost all of the towns in the area have a below market rate program. Here's info on a few:

Palo Alto: PAHC - Below Market Rate - Rental Program
Menlo Park: Menlo Park BMR Program
San Carlos: City of San Carlos - Below Market Rate Housing Program
Redwood City: Redwood City Housing: Affordable Housing
San Mateo: San Mateo, CA - Official Website - Below Market Rental Program

Some specific places:
One colleague lives here: Search Apartments for Rent, Condos and Rental Homes | MyNewPlace
Two others live here: Apartments in Palo Alto | Stanford Apartments | Palo Alto Apartments
And another lives here: Stanford West

As others have alluded to, there can be a waiting list. Of the people in the lab that have moved while I've been here, one girl got right into an apartment (a few weeks of waiting). Another girl and her family had to wait a few months. And one guy who applied said it would be a 2 month wait...he ended up moving away in that time, so it didn't matter. My advice: apply to as many as you can.

All of the people in the lab get by fine on their salary here. But, almost all of them have a significant other that also has some sort of professional job (a few have husbands/wives that also work at Stanford), which I think helps out a lot. And they do have to make some sort of sacrifice.

For a while, I used to live in the East Bay (Alameda), and the commute across the Dumbarton was not bad at all. I sometimes had my roommate drop me off at the Line U/Dumbarton express (bus) stops and took the bus directly to Stanford (drops you off right in front of the Stanford Hospital). Fremont is the only part of the East Bay that offers a reasonable commute, though. If I were you, I'd also look there.

Originally Posted by rlcg37

Glassdoor estimates 55-75K for that kind of position, but the advertised position is pretty specialized, so I'm hoping it's on the higher end (else they will not get many applications!). Will do more research on that. That would be a nice salary for some areas in the US. It seems kind of miserable given the housing costs I'm seeing for that area.

Well, I don't know what your husband does, but generally academia pays FAR below industry standards for comparable jobs, and Stanford is no exception to this. I know for instance that I make significantly less than I would if I were to try to get a job in a company doing similar work. There are reasons I stay, though.

For one, I wanted to work in the lab that work in. The PI is world-renowned, and the work I'm doing is proving to be immensely useful in furthering my career. I've now been published three times in a few years, and this is very important for my field. It is also something I would not ever be able to do in industry.

As well, I'm able to take classes, and have even thought about pursuing another degree (that would be paid for). I'm constantly meeting other professors/students that are very brilliant, and it's great to be able to collaborate/interact with so many talented people. It's very hard to reproduce this kind of working atmosphere somewhere else.

As well, the work that I'm doing is just more interesting than some of the work that I'd be doing in industry.

Also, there are some great perks of working here. My commute is paid for since I don't drive to work, rather opting to take the train daily (Go Pass/EcoPass). In fact, they even give me additional money to not drive to work (Clean Air Cash).

The perks and advantages of working in a world-renowned lab make it worthwhile to me. But you and your husband should really weigh these advantages against the obvious disadvantages (specifically cost of living). You do really have to love research/your work to work in academia because the pay is significantly reduced. And, I don't know if your husband will be in research, but generally all jobs do pay less in academia.

It's hard for me to give any recommendation since I can't really compare my situation to yours since I don't have 5 kids to feed. But I hope my perspective of working with people at Stanford that have families is helpful.

Originally Posted by rlcg37

I'm assuming the schools are pretty good academically, given the kind of industry and university environment. What about music in schools? Do any of them offer orchestra? (We have a couple string players.)

One of my colleagues has a daughter in music, and she says that at her school there are good options for music. She also has her in after-school lessons. I believe she goes to school somewhere in Mountain View.

Originally Posted by rlcg37

So I guess I'm gathering information about the area and if it's even possible to live there, should we get an offer.

It's definitely possible to live here, even on your reduced salary. It's really a matter of how much you're willing to sacrifice (Example: single family house is almost certainly not a possibility, unless you are up for a long commute). And I imagine from reading your posts you won't like any of the sacrifices...

Sacrifice, unfortunately, comes with the territory if you want to work in academia. Especially in the Bay Area and in this current housing market (which has exploded...i.e. prices have SHOT up in the last couple years).

Like others suggest, I would be very clear and specific with demands when negotiating for the job. Perhaps it will work out in your favor.

[mayorhaggar]

Yeah I'd get a second income from the wife. Two income families are the norm in the US these days, especially somewhere expensive like the Bay Area. Very few families in the Bay Area except the uber-rich have stay-home moms. Even 30 or 40k would help.

[thechoson]

There are many financial variables here that you have not shared (totally your right) or I just missed (in which case I apologize). I think a big one is you did not mention if you would be working and if so what kind of field you are in and what kind of salary you may expect. That is a huge factor. You guys may also be otherwise financially secure (large inheritance/ trust fund of some kind you don't want to touch, lottery winners, whatever). But absent that, I'll just assume you will not be working, you are not otherwise financially secure, and your husband will make the high end of what you estimate (75k).

If that is the case, I am going to tell you something you may not want to hear and may not be very popular. I would REALLY reconsider moving here, period. Unless this is a very special opportunity that could lead to a much greater income/ opportunities in the future, of course. But assuming your husband's position is academic in nature, are there no other universities in cheaper locales you guys can consider?

My wife and I make a combined 100k, and honestly we feel downright poor here. I can't imagine making it work on 75k for a family of SEVEN, even with the tax benefits that 5 children would provide. Those tax benefits I'm sure just go right out for expenditures for children.

Now as someone mentioned there are BMR programs here and such. I don't know much about those, but I mean, you guys probably need at least a 3 bedroom apartment. And I'm assuming because of your older children you'd want to be in a somewhat decent school district. Can that all work out?

I mean I guess it COULD be done. Try to rent a BMR unit somewhere close to Caltrain so you save on both rent and commuting. Maybe San Jose? Morgan Hill or even Gilroy may be an option although I think Caltrain schedule is pretty limited going down there.

Someone mentioned sacrifices, but I think for your family it would just be a ridiculous amount of sacrifices moving here to the Bay Area. Please please please do a lot of research. The cost of living is real, and this place is just simply not for everyone.

Now of course, you could be a corporate lawyer making 300k / year. In which case all of the above doesn't mean anything.

[cardinal2007]

Originally Posted by silverkris

Yep, I lived in Escondido Village as a kid when my dad was studying at Stanford. Enjoyed it but eligibility may be limited to graduate students with children.

I also lived in EV when I was a student at Stanford, the place is okay, but it looks really old, they are like small townhouse like apartments. The OP could look into getting into Stanford West, an ex-boyfriend of mine used to live there when we were both at Stanford, they place from the outside looks fairly new, I think it was built in 2000, (disclaimer I was there in 2004/2005 so things could be different now), but the inside is not luxury units like other apartments of the same era, just carpeting for flooring, vinyl I believe in the kitchen and bathroom, and laminate countertops. But over all it is pretty good, I think they may have 4 bd units, but I think there is a waitlist.

[jade408]

It would be pretty hard for your family even making $150k to be honest. Housing is super expensive. 3 bedrooms in a good school district is about $3000 at market price.


I am on my phone, please forgive the typos.