Shoes or no shoes? (to live in, floor, vs.)

[Blondebaerde]

Originally Posted by seattlefun

Since Seattle's climate is a little more wet. Is it common for people to take off shoes before entering a home. Also when going to someone's house as a guest what is the common protocol?

I don’t know if it’s “common”, given a relatively small sample size of my home and various friends. But I’ll chime in.

Protocol I use is to ask, when entering homes of my friends, or even better just taking them off unbidden. About half say “yes, please” when asked, which I've noticed correlates directly to state of the floors AND if they rent vs. own.

I have bamboo floors and don’t need them marked up any more than natural wear, thus politely ask guests to remove shoes though “usually” my guests ask first, same as I would. And I have a mat for them at the door, of course.

Also, my home is generally tidy, and I suspect people are more-likely to ask when they see a neat and clean home vs. another with kids and dogs running the show. My buddy with three teens and tweens doesn't enforce any rules about shoes or other attire, e.g.

Never considered if this was a social convention in the United States that evolves over time, though most of them do (e.g. men no longer wearing fedora-style hats much anymore, post Kennedy inauguration as they say). Interesting to read other opinions on this thread, from other walks of life.

[seattlenextyear]

Originally Posted by Gabbythecat

Of course you are allowed to set the rules in your own home. But don't you care about the comfort of your guests? Why not make it a general rule that you/your family takes off your shoes? If guests come over and don't follow your shoes off example, don't enforce it. If they don't take off their shoes, maybe it's because they have orthopedic issues, holey socks, or whatever.

Perhaps it is considered rude in many parts of the world to wear shoes in the house, but this is here. The Pacific Northwest. The Seattle area. I'm not sure that it is rude here - do you know of any statistics indicating how many homes are shoes on/off? Most homes that I've been in here are shoes on, by the way.

Yes, it is a hassle for my orthotic wearing friends to switch to different shoes. Orthotics don't work in Crocs - which are terrible orthopedically anyway. And I only wear solid hiking type shoes with special inserts because of my orthopedic issues - it'd be a pain to switch to different hiking shoes when I go to someone else's house - you can't just slip them on and off. Anyway, they are "shoes", which of course you wouldn't approve of. They're also expensive - I don't have enough shoes to keep one pair (and inserts) just for indoor use.

Alright, if grandma comes over, she can wear her shoes. Everyone else can take 2 seconds to take their wet muddy shoes off.

[Gabbythecat]

That sounds *awfully* rude toward senior citizens...but anyway - I'm not a grandma, have had serious orthopedic issues since I was 30. Are you going to ask people to provide a reason why they don't take off their shoes, perhaps a notarized affidavit from their orthopedic surgeon? Are only "grandma aged" people allowed to wear their shoes in your home, or are you going to be polite and just let them wear their shoes if they want to? :-)

By the way - I have a very clean house. Very clean and well maintained, although it is "lived in", the way houses are intended to be lived in. Yes, we are a shoes on family - and we have a clean house!!! We own it - it is not a rental. My house is not a museum that must not ever get dirty. The floors are meant to be walked upon, not coddled.

[seattlenextyear]

Originally Posted by Gabbythecat

That sounds *awfully* rude toward senior citizens...but anyway - I'm not a grandma, have had serious orthopedic issues since I was 30. Are you going to ask people to provide a reason why they don't take off their shoes, perhaps a notarized affidavit from their orthopedic surgeon? Are only "grandma aged" people allowed to wear their shoes in your home, or are you going to be polite and just let them wear their shoes if they want to? :-)

By the way - I have a very clean house. Very clean and well maintained, although it is "lived in", the way houses are intended to be lived in. Yes, we are a shoes on family - and we have a clean house!!! We own it - it is not a rental. My house is not a museum that must not ever get dirty. The floors are meant to be walked upon, not coddled.

Yes, it's been well established that I'm an awfully, horribly rude person for not wanting small bits of dog poop tracked into my house.

I'll ask one of the 1.2 billion Indians or perhaps one of the 1.3 billion Chinese what their protocol is on validating doctor's notes.

[Gabbythecat]

My goodness. Is that your reason for shoes off? Dog poop? Don't you ever have messes of other kinds on your floors? Barfy children, cats that vomit hairballs, etc. If you find it on the floor - whatever "it" is, you clean it up with the appropriate cleaner. Not a big deal unless you plan on eating a meal off the floor. Life happens.

Yes, people in other countries have cultural standards different than we do here. They clean themselves with a certain hand (the left, I think), since TP is not common in some parts of the world. Different countries have different ways of doing things than we do here in the USA. That doesn't mean that we should copy them, does it?

[seattlenextyear]

Originally Posted by Gabbythecat

My goodness. Is that your reason for shoes off? Dog poop? Don't you ever have messes of other kinds on your floors? Barfy children, cats that vomit hairballs, etc. If you find it on the floor - whatever "it" is, you clean it up with the appropriate cleaner. Not a big deal unless you plan on eating a meal off the floor. Life happens.

Yes, people in other countries have cultural standards different than we do here. They clean themselves with a certain hand (the left, I think), since TP is not common in some parts of the world. Different countries have different ways of doing things than we do here in the USA. That doesn't mean that we should copy them, does it?

I don't know. I think using a showerhead or bidet (NOT dry wiping with your left hand as is the stereotype) sounds less wasteful than dragging ground up Douglas fir trees across your butt. Perhaps we should think about adopting some of these more civilized customs.

[Gabbythecat]

Isn't a bidet wasteful of water and energy? I assume that you don't just air dry? I've used leaves while backpacking; rocks have also been an option (yup - Leave No Trace). I prefer TP.

[Mousetron]

Every house I've been to in Seattle has been shoes-off. I don't think I've ever actually asked - I just check the host(s) and follow their lead.

Earlier this year my in-laws visited from Australia, and they're the only people I know who have a shoes-on house. I don't know if it's an orthopedic issue or they just prefer wearing shoes, but it wasn't a big deal - I just vacuumed and mopped when they went home. I was raised to view wearing shoes inside the home as dirty, but I was also raised to make my guests feel comfortable and for me the latter outweighs the former.

I do mentally flinch when I see shoes on in the home though.

Originally Posted by seattlenextyear

I don't know. I think using a showerhead or bidet (NOT dry wiping with your left hand as is the stereotype) sounds less wasteful than dragging ground up Douglas fir trees across your butt. Perhaps we should think about adopting some of these more civilized customs.

I've heard that cultures that use bidets think we're filthy. They're like "if you got poo on your arm would you wipe it off with a paper towel and think that was clean enough?"

Makes you realize how many of our cleanliness standards are culturally ingrained. No shoes inside the house and ugh to sharing ice cream comes with dogs - but I'll let my cat snuggle with me at night even though I know where his poopy paws have been.

[BellevueNative]

In my own home when my husband and I are home alone, I don't wear my shoes. But when I go over to friends' houses, almost all of them allow shoes. And we don't ask people to remove their shoes in our home, either.

For the record: we have wood floors, and we're not anywhere close to senior citizens

I think this comes down to what you're accustomed to, as in what your family did when you were growing up. The house I grew up in also had wood floors, and my mom never asked people to remove their shoes when they came over.

I do feel a little rude asking people to remove their shoes for the sake of my convenience and vanity. I'm not Asian, so it wouldn't be a cultural reason if I were to ask them to remove their shoes. Men may not care quite as much, but I know a lot of ladies that dress nicely when they come to a party, and to ask them to remove their shoes and walk around barefoot (if they weren't wearing socks) or in the hostess' socks doesn't seem very welcoming for those people. I once ruined a very nice pair of hosiery at a Christmas party, where I - and other ladies - showed up in dressy cocktail attire and then were asked to remove our shoes. It didn't feel proper to remove my hosiery, and it would have altered my look, so I walked around in my hosiery covered feet. And ruined them with dirt and a hole by the end of the night.

Don't people have doormats outside their front doors? Those do a pretty good job of getting off water and dirt. Who the hell walks in mud right before walking into a friend's house?

[shaylahc]

I had crawling babies for years, so I got into the habit of asking people to remove shoes all the time. I am more relaxed about it now, but if it was rainy/muddy out, I would have no problem asking someone to remove their shoes. It's my house and if that's what I feel comfortable with, it's not a big deal for someone to remove their shoes.