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Funny thing, most women around here seem to prefer to be inside, cooking, baking, raising the kids, while DH goes out and ropes and rides, or hays the field. Few married women have their own horse or care about the cattle, or chickens until it's time to plan supper.
I think it depends on a division of duty and an acceptance of limitations. I work outside the home, and DH deals with the animals for the most part. I can't use a chainsaw (I have that disease of Noassatall), so he's the one cutting the logs to a reasonable size. If they are REALLY big logs, we use a woodsplitter. I can schmack a wedge with a sledge with the best of them, but sometimes speed is imperatve. DH also cooks amazingly well, and keeps up with the housecleaning. I paint and refurbish, sew and repair, launder and scrub, and will help with the animals; food, water, medication, etc, especially during blizzards when everything takes twice as much time. We are not 'off grid' even though we are eventually working towards it. I have battled clothes in a washtub, cooked and heated solely with a woodstove, used a privy that I dug and limed, and only had kero and oil lamps at night. It isn't something I will eagerly do again - nor is living in a tipi. I like my bed and my roof, TYVM. I CAN do it, and if I have to I WILL do it - but bathing once a week by the light and warmth of a woodstove is not as romantic as it seems to the gloriously uninitiated.
I've seen a LOT of couples who eagerly embrace the whole off-grid thing - but then some of the guys try to pull the "man of the house" stuff without actually doing anything productive. They'll own all sorts of weaponry but spend all day 'hunting' and not bring back a thing - or worse bring back something skimpy and not worth the pellets - and expect DW to gut it, clean it, and serve it. They have no conception of what it takes to keep a woodstove going to properly can produce, or how long it takes to weed and harvest a garden to get them to the point where they can go into the jars. They brag continually about their achievements, and disappear into their fields or shops for several hours or all day, and produce literally nothing of consequence. But their DW had better have supper on the table, a clean house, and clean kids to worship and admire Daddy, when he comes in!
The same guys who use "homesteading" as a power module over their 'weaker' wives are usually the same types who would use religion or any other excuse to play master and lord. They and their marriages don't last too long. It's the ones who work together as a team, who recognize and supplement each others' weaknesses and strengths, who don't make the news stories.
...bathing once a week by the light and warmth of a woodstove is not as romantic as it seems to the gloriously uninitiated.
Boy, you were really privileged I'm lucky if I drag a rag over myself once a week most times, a full bucket bath with hair washing is usually only monthly (except winter - no wet head in winter if I can help it!!), and a real honest and proper shower/bath means a trip to the village laundromat or the hot springs with a handful of quarters. Good thing I live in the bush where no one can see or smell me, huh?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SCGranny
The same guys who use "homesteading" as a power module over their 'weaker' wives are usually the same types who would use religion or any other excuse to play master and lord. They and their marriages don't last too long. It's the ones who work together as a team, who recognize and supplement each others' weaknesses and strengths, who don't make the news stories.
I've seen plenty of the former for sure. The Little Napoleans crack me up... it's even better when they're married to women who "can't" do something because it's "too hard".
To be successful, you have to be a team, and you have to play by rules you both agree on. There's not a single chore around the place that we can't both do if we need to (even though it might take longer), but the one who does it best or enjoys it most is the one who "owns" it. All it takes is someone being away or being laid up for a few days for the other person to be up the creek when responsibilities aren't shared... things like that make even functional couples renew their appreciation for their partners!
My wife does indoors and outdoor labors, but I tend to do the bull labor. I weed the garden, and since I am a x car teck I fix every machine there is. Why should my wife even try? She will be a human clamp if I need one though, and supports anything I do for us. We are a us.
If she wants to chain saw wood, I am afarid she will have to buy her own saw(s). No other men are allowed to touch my saws, and I would rather loan a gun. She can hand split hardwood if she wants, but her aim is terrible. The cat wiggle wind up is a great view just the same.
She isn't real good at lifting larger logs to the gas spliter deck either, so I do that, and she moves off what's split.
There is a science to splitting wood even with a gas spliter. Urbans just have no idea there is a right way to do many things that seem simple. Snow plowing is another. You get that wrong around here and you might loose the driveway for the rest if winter, or perhaps pay a 12 yard bucket loader guy a hefty fee to move what you did wrong. Not talking any puny 20 ft long driveway either, more like 1/2 mile to 1 and 1/2 mile. A 12 inch snow storm here takes 2 days to clear with a 1 ton dump truck and a 9 foot blade, then pushing the banks back with a skid steer Bob Cat.
Then it's shovel the blasted roof time, which is no fun at all and so far my wife never has seemed to want to do in the first place and so she hasn't.
We share a lot of labor, that works a lot like Honey here hold this, for things like spring time green house assembly. We clean and gut game together, and I taught her how to. She doesn't argue a bit when it's gut the deer time either. I just dig in and pull out the guts and she smiles at me. I make the belly cut, and the rear leg cuts, while she does the neck line and the front legs.
After that we take turns with no more knives, and fist off the hides, so no cuts spoil the hide.
She can see close detail better than I can so next she goes after the sinew on a deer back and then the legs and I hold the sinew and pull it up and away so she can see better.
After that we go for the meat, and after that any more parts and bones we can use. I make sure to get the ulna bones as fast as possible since these are sewwing awls to the both of us.
Next comes the brains, which get bagged and chilled, to wait for tanning the hide. We both agree deer hides shed from the day you get the deer, to the day the last hair falls out, so we share hairing off and fleshing out hides on the beam.
She can case skin and open up a beaver to a plew in the round as well. But we do this as one, like most things we can do equally well.
I cook over coals outside, but never in the house, and if i so much as wash a dish it rains. I don't do any dishes. She never changes any motor oil.
In the garden I do all the tilling, which is real hard work even with a decent tiller. The other day I bought a small 2 stoke tiller/cultivator and she can run that when she wants, if she wants.
That little tool weeds like mad, and with it I can weed in a few moments what before would take an hour.
Mostly remote living is lonely and if you can't deal with that, then life gets rough. My wife and I are a team, and so that has never been a problem. We met in 87' and neither of us has left the other yet. I do recall one day she did inform me, both Minolta's 35mm cameras I bought long before I met her were hers though
My wife gets these domestic duties since i can't afford a maid. She has learned living with me is more like organized chaos. It is entirely impossible to live with a man like me, and have things clean.
This is just one little reason why
Note this motorcycle gas tank is being painted with real automotive paint in the traditional manner, but in our shower.
Here it is getting taped for paint on our bed.
She knew all this before she married me, and it's not my fault she is crazy.
Quite a few women can just show up and have a 35,000 to 75,000 plus job in a climate controlled environment, and it is clean with other women to chat with.
Other options include having a man who is paid well, or even a trumped disabilty with cash and bennies better then many moderate pay jobs.
But as the economy changes being off the grid may not be so bad.
Pay bennies and job sercurity are going down.
A much more simple life might be a sweet deal compared to 30 hours at Walmart wages and bennies and a horses rear end of a supervisor. Combine this with paying high retail for food and shelter and other expenses.
Add to how to what baby boomers can expect during thier retirement years.
More women may learn to appreciate a more simple life and how to do it well as the post WW2 party winds down. It may really take a couple or even an extended family to do well.
What are the best options? Fewer people will be able to buy alot of things or live without working harder. Within living memory plenty of people did just fine. Infact things may not be so bad at all
For the man or women being a selfish spouse may nt be such an option it was in the era of abundance.
Honestly, I've never seen what's so bad about "domestic duties." I'd ten to one rather be doing domestic duties than wasting my time on a job--yes, a job IS a waste of my time other than the money I get for doing it. A necessary evil. I'd love to have more time to hone my "domestic survival skills." What's more important in the whole big scheme of things (especially in a survival situation): knowing how to can food, bake bread, cook, hunt, fish, garden, forage, etc... or jumping through meaningless hoops all day for money?
My wife gets these domestic duties since i can't afford a maid. She has learned living with me is more like organized chaos. It is entirely impossible to live with a man like me, and have things clean.
This is just one little reason why
Note this motorcycle gas tank is being painted with real automotive paint in the traditional manner, but in our shower.
Here it is getting taped for paint on our bed.
She knew all this before she married me, and it's not my fault she is crazy.
more proof LOL
You could earn a lving like that just doing it for others. The value of the bike just went up alot also. Over the years the living room has been a place to put a bike in my home from tiem to time. My first house came with a handicap ramp for the PO's wheelchair. Sweet for a Honda CL350.
Honestly, I've never seen what's so bad about "domestic duties." I'd ten to one rather be doing domestic duties than wasting my time on a job--yes, a job IS a waste of my time other than the money I get for doing it. A necessary evil. I'd love to have more time to hone my "domestic survival skills." What's more important in the whole big scheme of things (especially in a survival situation): knowing how to can food, bake bread, cook, hunt, fish, garden, forage, etc... or jumping through meaningless hoops all day for money?
What I laugh at is how people talk about 'how much work' a wife does at home.
Now, I'll admit, the dynamics are different with small children. But other than that I've 'Managed' to do a full time + job, Night school, cook, and clean etc...
Simultaneously, all on my own!
And it (Household chores) don't really take that much work.
-Now I know we are mainly talking about off-grid here, but IMHO... Prior planning will make it not as difficult as professed.
(Rocket stove vs wood stove etc. But heck, with a GOOD wood-stove it's not that hard ether!)
I'll find out. Next year at this time I'll be building my off grid home.
Chris -- the "raw deal" was one of the reasons we quit corporate life. Trading your time for wholesale wages doing something you don't care about while paying retail for survival just didn't make sense. Trading your time directly for your survival, so much more rewarding.
TMwNN: Honestly, "doing it all yourself" is relatively easy when you're single. Sure, there are chores that would be handy to have a second set of hands for; but it's not too difficult to pick up after yourself and keep things the way you want them. Even without children, things become much more difficult when there are two of you. Inevitably work, organization and cleaning styles will clash and tolerance levels for different things will collide. I don't necessarily agree with the pity party some (lazy, self-centered, pampered) women put on about how much work they have to do to manage a household, but I also know that managing even just a two-person household properly is not a complete cakewalk. Being responsible for washing the dishes and laundry when you are not the one dirtying most of them, or stepping over and around or having to clean up other people's "messes", and preparing meals for other people's preferences on their schedule not yours... it all adds up.
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I'm lucky if I drag a rag over myself once a week most times, a full bucket bath with hair washing is usually only monthly (except winter - no wet head in winter if I can help it!!), and a real honest and proper shower/bath means a trip to the village laundromat or the hot springs with a handful of quarters. Good thing I live in the bush where no one can see or smell me, huh? 
The Economy of it
