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I said I haven't hugged any students this semester. Also, getting in trouble for no reason other saying you're gay is certainly going to end up in court with the gay person winning.
I remember what you wrote. I no longer work, so court isn't in my future. My saying I'm lesbian in an elementary school could end up getting me fired and it's doubtful they'd say it's because I'm a lesbian.
Becoming a teacher for kids is great if you can hack it. By that I mean I taught in inner-city schools for a while and I felt like I needed brass knuckles (and I mean that). It's nice to be remembered fondly.
Look, whatever you do in life, I hope you enjoy it. I hope you learn from it. You seem like a decent and smart person. Your writing in no way resembles what I know about my friend's Asperger (to the max) husband. So, you've shown me the other end (so it appears) of the spectrum.
More than a couple of the PE teachers I had through the 1980s and 1990s were lesbians, although I was not aware of it at the time, because I had no reason to be aware of it at the time.
I read through the thread and the OP seemed for real at first but after a couple of pages, it just didn't seem for real. It seemed the issues got very blurred. Seriously, I cannot believe in this day that someone working at a school would not realize that hugging and touching students could put them in the unemployment line. It appears the OP feels entitled to touch the students, make them friends, share personal details, etc. OP would need to learn to separate work life where you follow the rules set by your employer and social life.
OP seems to feel that students should be available to fulfill his needs for physical touch, friendship and social interaction.
OP, you should have told us you really just wanted validation rather than allowing us to think you wanted real feedback.
Y e s, maf763... Posing a succinct question would've been best. I felt confusion by the OP (in the OP not in me).
TabulaRasa: I suspected I was a lesbian (well mostly ) by my junior year in college (1974-5) when I was doing student teaching. You couldn't tell and I didn't really know either. I don't know what would've happened if I let people know who I was and at that time and I was just student teaching. I kept it professional with the kids and teachers and had a lot of fun with them and read many great books with them as well as did some really fun projects. By the 80s, I pretty much knew and kept everything professional because I knew I had to or possibly be fired without ever knowing why.
My school district, even at the Junior Kindergarten (4K) level has the official policy "hands off students". Even if a 4K student hugs the teacher, we tell them "hugs are for home" or "hugs are for Mom and Dad". At the Early Childhood level (3 and 4 year old children with disabilities) there may be some hugs but even at that level it is limited to when a child may be crying or upset.
Of course, there may be times when a teacher may give a quick hug to comfort a young child, perhaps when they are hurt or are crying because they miss Mom.
But, as your students get older the times that even a quick hug by a teacher would be appropriate become fewer and fewer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enrico_Fermi
I think maybe I confused people here. The main problem was not that I don't care about making kids uncomfortable or that I think touching is essential. It was that I'm not capable of conforming to prejudiced expectations because conscience forbids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oldhag1
If this is that troubling for you, you need to find a new profession. Other than the clergy, no profession is expected to exhibit the main stream, clean cut, societal norm as much as education. The classroom is not a place that is going to allow you to be a rebel with a cause.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enrico_Fermi
Are you sure you aren't just from the old school generation that was taught to hate gay people? I'm betting you also told some of your students not to write left handed because that was a sign of being a devil way back in the day.
Wow, just wow.
I totally agree with Oldhag. BTW, I am a staunch defender of GLBT rights.
Okay, well I'm sorry if I mislead people or got rude in response to answers I didn't like. It's a sensitive issue for me I guess because I'm at a dilemma where I don't wanna be thought of as creepy, dangerous, or strange, but I'm also at the same time not willing to change certain things. My work ethic has always been strong, but my maturity has had to make slow progress so I can finally be developed to the level of a 16-17 year old at 27.
The reason my clinical placement was delayed for them to find the right teacher was because there was a concern over open plans of suicide I disclosed to people which the education department didn't find out the details because they were kept confidential by the dean's office, but just knew there was a concern brought to their attention. I've had to call my mental health professional's crisis line the day before student teaching started because I felt I was heading that way and I also take antidepressants as well as have weekly counseling. I know so many people are going to chime in now telling me what a horrible person I am working with kids when I deal with thoughts of self harm, but I have thought of how it would affect the kids so don't lecture me about that please. I'm just trying to find a solution to being happy as a teacher without having to conform to prejudice and ignorant society standards.
Okay, well I'm sorry if I mislead people or got rude in response to answers I didn't like. It's a sensitive issue for me I guess because I'm at a dilemma where I don't wanna be thought of as creepy, dangerous, or strange, but I'm also at the same time not willing to change certain things. My work ethic has always been strong, but my maturity has had to make slow progress so I can finally be developed to the level of a 16-17 year old at 27.
The reason my clinical placement was delayed for them to find the right teacher was because there was a concern over open plans of suicide I disclosed to people which the education department didn't find out the details because they were kept confidential by the dean's office, but just knew there was a concern brought to their attention. I've had to call my mental health professional's crisis line the day before student teaching started because I felt I was heading that way and I also take antidepressants as well as have weekly counseling. I know so many people are going to chime in now telling me what a horrible person I am working with kids when I deal with thoughts of self harm, but I have thought of how it would affect the kids so don't lecture me about that please. I'm just trying to find a solution to being happy as a teacher without having to conform to prejudice and ignorant society standards.
You need to discuss this with your counselor, not with a bunch of strangers on the Internet.
__________________
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The district handbooks in my area also state to minimize physical contact as much as possible at all grades. This directive is given to substitute teachers as well. There are no hi-5s, no pats, no hugs even for a crying child. Obviously, some contact is necessary with the younger children, but it is to be kept to the minimum. Even if your cooperating teacher was being considered for sainthood, any type of hugging, no matter whether male or female, senior or junior teacher would be considered a serious infraction. With all the scares about ebola, measles, meningitis, even if the disease cannot be passed by physical contact, schools have cracked down on physical contact between students, let alone teacher-students, just to avoid the potential problems caused by angry and upset parents.
For your own safety, do not share personal information. No, you should not mention that you live in an apartment or house, whether you have a S/O or not, and defninitely the location where you live. You never know when one of your students is disturbed enough or sociopathic enough to turn it against you. Look what happened to that teacher in upstate NY who shared with her 4th grade students a personal fact about her allergy. Her own students used that knowledge to make her ill. You can connect with your students emotionally in other ways. Use humor. Make references to shared experiences regarding school life. Within reason, you might use a film or TV show popular with your students' age, such as The Hunger Games, as an illustration for a concept that you wish to teach. You can talk about a local sports team and their losing streak or winning streak. But remember, you are not their friend and don't let them veer you off-topic. Weave these things into your lessons.
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should be available to fulfill his needs for physical touch, friendship and social interaction.
) by my junior year in college (1974-5) when I was doing student teaching. You couldn't tell and I didn't really know either. I don't know what would've happened if I let people know who I was and at that time and I was just student teaching. I kept it professional with the kids and teachers and had a lot of fun with them and read many great books with them as well as did some really fun projects. By the 80s, I pretty much knew and kept everything professional because I knew I had to or possibly be fired without ever knowing why.
