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OP, I am pretty well-versed in Asperger's, and I know that dealing with things you consider to be nonsense/disagree with can be a real stumbling block. But hear me out...your cooperating teacher is exactly right...there is a DEFINITE double standard that exists in terms of what is considered acceptable behavior for male teachers v. female teachers, when it comes to contact with students. There shouldn't be, but there is, and to rail against how it's not right and sexist makes it no less the reality of the situation. Personally, as a person who has taught across grade levels, I would steer clear of physical contact with 8th graders no matter my gender...it's not necessary, and your cooperating teacher would do well to lay off it, as well. There is no reason to touch pubescent kids unless it's a matter of safety.
I've also taught with several teachers with Asperger's who have been competent educators. But the type of flexibility necessary to do well in a teaching setting may be a real challenge for you. The reality is that having an ASD will create challenges for you in the field that you'll have to make a concerted effort (and probably lots of gritting your teeth and going against the grain of what feels right to you) to overcome. Only you can decide if it's a field in which you'll be happy, though. Just bear in mind that no matter how strongly you may feel about how something should be or shouldn't be, you're more than likely going to have to work pretty hard on accepting realities that you may not agree with.
They obviously did not mind taking his money and letting him take all the classes to this point. If they had concerns, they should have been raise LONG before this point.
Just because he has a "disability" (that was obvious prior to clinical teaching) they should be working with him to understand the environment and not berating him. I am willing to bet the next step the university takes will be to dismiss hem from the program or allow him to graduate without a teaching certificate.
As for rights being violated, the advocacy group will be better able to address that.
I am betting that is the next step too.
But, this isn't something they just do to disabled students. They do it to a lot of students. I had one work with me during her first method's class that I called the university about the FIRST day she showed up. They admitted they had some concerns too. Guess who was struggling 3 semesters later during student teaching and ended up having to do it twice? She just wasn't interested in doing anything that required effort and it was really, really clear. She told me her parents pushed her towards teaching because it was an easy job..... Don't get me started. Point is, they just kept stringing her along too knowing there was no way she would be successful as a teacher. But, university students are adults and are responsible for their own choices.
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Okay, I think I better explain some issues before people start going off in all directions.
I'm 27, but I was not diagnosed with Asperger's until last May. The other issue is, I don't have to by any means disclose to my university that I have Asperger's, even though I did. They can't deny me a teaching certificate based disability if that is what people were trying to say.
Next, they already are aware of my issues and placed me with someone I've very familiar with to avoid a potential catastrophe from a mismatched relationship.
Okay, so now to the problem I'm dealing with. Again, I said I have yet to hug any of the students yet. The touching has been very harmless I think so far. Why is a pat on the shoulder, high five, fist bump anything wrong? However, the issue isn't with how people feel about touching, but that the reason I was given is because I'm a man.
I'm not trying to be mean or be a pain the ass, but I'm just being frank with people that telling me that I need to try and conform my behavior to people's prejudiced stereotypes, because I simply will not do it. I'm not going to try to empathize with, respect, or even accept people's sexism. It's not my problem. I'm personally saying that I have legal protection, and if they want to take me to court they can be my guest, because they won't have any evidence that I did anything illegal or harassed anyone. I've been an intern in schools since last fall and I've mentored students before as well, and nobody has once ever made a big deal out of that. When I mentored autistic 6th grade students, many of them wanted hugs and appreciated affection. I've actually not dealt much with people thinking me being a man and hugging a child thinking it was a weird or wrong thing that would be okay if it was a woman. Most people have said they thought I looked like a caring older brother. So, what I'm also saying is that I think the fact that there is some overwhelming stigma out there about men is a load of horse ****. Just because there are some crazy people out there, I would like to think most people would at least analyze the situation before jumping to the "he's a man" fear even if there was some initial discomfort.
However, the important issue is, that eliminating prejudice requires more exposure so that people can see what they are afraid of isn't reality. By conforming and accepting such a stigma only allows it to keep going on without being challenged.
Okay, I think I better explain some issues before people start going off in all directions.
I'm 27, but I was not diagnosed with Asperger's until last May. The other issue is, I don't have to by any means disclose to my university that I have Asperger's, even though I did. They can't deny me a teaching certificate based disability if that is what people were trying to say.
Next, they already are aware of my issues and placed me with someone I've very familiar with to avoid a potential catastrophe from a mismatched relationship.
Okay, so now to the problem I'm dealing with. Again, I said I have yet to hug any of the students yet. The touching has been very harmless I think so far. Why is a pat on the shoulder, high five, fist bump anything wrong? However, the issue isn't with how people feel about touching, but that the reason I was given is because I'm a man.
I'm not trying to be mean or be a pain the ass, but I'm just being frank with people that telling me that I need to try and conform my behavior to people's prejudiced stereotypes, because I simply will not do it. I'm not going to try to empathize with, respect, or even accept people's sexism. It's not my problem. I'm personally saying that I have legal protection, and if they want to take me to court they can be my guest, because they won't have any evidence that I did anything illegal or harassed anyone. I've been an intern in schools since last fall and I've mentored students before as well, and nobody has once ever made a big deal out of that. When I mentored autistic 6th grade students, many of them wanted hugs and appreciated affection. I've actually not dealt much with people thinking me being a man and hugging a child thinking it was a weird or wrong thing that would be okay if it was a woman. Most people have said they thought I looked like a caring older brother. So, what I'm also saying is that I think the fact that there is some overwhelming stigma out there about men is a load of horse ****. Just because there are some crazy people out there, I would like to think most people would at least analyze the situation before jumping to the "he's a man" fear even if there was some initial discomfort.
However, the important issue is, that eliminating prejudice requires more exposure so that people can see what they are afraid of isn't reality. By conforming and accepting such a stigma only allows it to keep going on without being challenged.
You might want to explore other career options. Seriously. The issue is whether or not you are making students uncomfortable. My guess is that, whether you meant to or not, you have made some uncomfortable and that is why your mentor teacher has talked to you. Once you become a teacher your feelings and rights become secondary to your students' rights and needs.
And PLEASE, do NOT hug 8th grade students. It is highly inappropriate, regardless of gender. Why is this even part of your dialogue?
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When I post in bold red that is moderator action and, per the TOS, can only be discussed through Direct Message.
You might want to explore other career options. Seriously. The issue is whether or not you are making students uncomfortable. I guess is that whether you meant to or not, you have and that is why your mentor teacher has talked to you.
And PLEASE, do NOT hug 8th grade students. It is highly inappropriate, regardless of gender. Why is this even part of your dialogue?
I haven't hugged any 8th grade students to be honest, but she said that she does but I shouldn't because I'm a man, which is the problem.
What I did that made students uncomfortable was not touching them, but it was the proximity issue of leaning over to talk to them when they are sitting in their desks which never occurred to me until they mentioned it.
I honestly was hoping I'd be placed with any level other than 8th grade. Not because of hugging, but because of the intimidation. I've worked with 6th and 7th graders, and by far they have not had sex on their minds nearly as much as 8th graders.
To clarify, I also never once said I didn't care whether or not I was making students comfortable. I said I don't care about conforming my personality around sexism.
Okay, so now to the problem I'm dealing with. Again, I said I have yet to hug any of the students yet. The touching has been very harmless I think so far. Why is a pat on the shoulder, high five, fist bump anything wrong? However, the issue isn't with how people feel about touching, but that the reason I was given is because I'm a man.
I'm not trying to be mean or be a pain the ass, but I'm just being frank with people that telling me that I need to try and conform my behavior to people's prejudiced stereotypes, because I simply will not do it. I'm not going to try to empathize with, respect, or even accept people's sexism. It's not my problem.
.
I'll share my experience with you.
I'm a 62 year old grandmother, a retired teacher and now a substitute teacher, and even I will never give a high five or fist bump to a MS or HS student unless they initiate it. On the rare occasion that I have even patted a teen on the arm or shoulder it was when they were crying/upset and then I made certain that it was a quick, comforting pat in public.
Even as an older woman, it is not worth the possible problems.
If I were a man, I probably would never, ever touch a child/teen.
IMHO, yes, you need to conform your behavior. You are naive if you think that you can just ignore society's "unwritten rules".
One of my best teacher friends was a female kindergarten teacher. Even thirty years ago, with kindergarten age children she did not hug, pat, fist bump, pat on the head, etc. her students as she said "it was just too big a risk".
I haven't hugged any 8th grade students to be honest, but she said that she does but I shouldn't because I'm a man, which is the problem.
What I did that made students uncomfortable was not touching them, but it was the proximity issue of leaning over to talk to them when they are sitting in their desks which never occurred to me until they mentioned it.
I honestly was hoping I'd be placed with any level other than 8th grade. Not because of hugging, but because of the intimidation. I've worked with 6th and 7th graders, and by far they have not had sex on their minds nearly as much as 8th graders.
To clarify, I also never once said I didn't care whether or not I was making students comfortable. I said I don't care about conforming my personality around sexism.
Male students, right? You need to stay out of their personal space, they are very sensitive about it at that age regardless. Your sharing with them (less than 3 weeks into your placement, sheesh) your sexual preferences is part of what is adding to this problem, in addition to your gender. You are placing your concern about you not having to conform to your perception of sexism over your concern about not making students uncomfortable.
__________________
When I post in bold red that is moderator action and, per the TOS, can only be discussed through Direct Message.
I haven't hugged any 8th grade students to be honest, but she said that she does but I shouldn't because I'm a man, which is the problem.
What I did that made students uncomfortable was not touching them, but it was the proximity issue of leaning over to talk to them when they are sitting in their desks which never occurred to me until they mentioned it.
I honestly was hoping I'd be placed with any level other than 8th grade. Not because of hugging, but because of the intimidation. I've worked with 6th and 7th graders, and by far they have not had sex on their minds nearly as much as 8th graders.
To clarify, I also never once said I didn't care whether or not I was making students comfortable. I said I don't care about conforming my personality around sexism.
You need to change your attitude ASAP but it is probably already too late. I agree with virtually everything everyone else has advised you.
I student taught 8th grade and have been subbing for over four years. I can practically hear what these students are saying about you. They are saying, "Mr. Enrico_Fermi creeps me out." My advice is you don't want to do anything that might give students any reason to say this about you. I make no physical contact with students. I don't like fist bumps or high fives, but will do them to avoid the scenario when you don't acknowledge.
BTW, the sex drive is ramping up in many 5th, 6th and 7th graders. Many of the boys are about two years behind the girls at this age.
I'm not trying to be mean or be a pain the ass, but I'm just being frank with people that telling me that I need to try and conform my behavior to people's prejudiced stereotypes, because I simply will not do it. I'm not going to try to empathize with, respect, or even accept people's sexism. It's not my problem. I'm personally saying that I have legal protection, and if they want to take me to court they can be my guest, because they won't have any evidence that I did anything illegal or harassed anyone. I've been an intern in schools since last fall and I've mentored students before as well, and nobody has once ever made a big deal out of that. When I mentored autistic 6th grade students, many of them wanted hugs and appreciated affection. I've actually not dealt much with people thinking me being a man and hugging a child thinking it was a weird or wrong thing that would be okay if it was a woman. Most people have said they thought I looked like a caring older brother. So, what I'm also saying is that I think the fact that there is some overwhelming stigma out there about men is a load of horse ****. Just because there are some crazy people out there, I would like to think most people would at least analyze the situation before jumping to the "he's a man" fear even if there was some initial discomfort.
You don't always have a choice about what becomes your problem. Your co-op is trying to help you avoid problems, not facilitate your tackling of them. I admire your willingness to confront a (mainly) needless social stigma, but I'm not sure how well it will work as a new teacher. I hope it works out positively - good luck to you.
The personal space issue I worked on and found alternatives for, so I don't see that being an issue anymore.
As far as sexual orientation is concerned, why does being gay need to be a secret? Teachers put pictures of the families and spouses all the time in the room, and say things such as "my husband/wife" which is disclosing that they are heterosexual. I actually didn't openly announce that I was gay to students, I mentioned it when two other students were in the room, one of them who was a female gay student. I personally am not ashamed of being gay though, so I don't really care if they know about it.
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