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DW and I hitchhiked around South Africa. we went into gas station at a remote bushstop and heard a Yoo-hoo from a car, it was a lady who saw us getting dropped, inviting us to lunch at her farm. We stayed for a week, were taken to their weekend house on the coast, and packed off with an invite to stay at her son's place in Bloemfontein. We got several other overnighters in RSA.
I’ve been in private homes in Brazil, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland and India. I’m not sure if this “counts” because my husband and I were invited not by strangers, but by our friends and/or colleagues. Still, it makes all the difference. I feel like I know these countries on a different level than other ones I’ve visited and this is definitely due in part to home visits.
Our experience in India was particularly enlightening. My husband had helped out an Indian PhD student (in Hyderabad) with his dissertation and the student wanted to repay the favor by having us over for dinner. It wound up being a very interesting experience on many levels, but one thing that really stuck with me was the huge gap in standard of living between India and the US. It’s one thing to drive (or be driven, since no American in their right mind actually drives in India) and see abject poverty to stare you in the face. On some level I was somewhat mentally and emotionally prepared for that.
What I found really shocking was that this IT professional (he had finished his doctorate in CS and was now working at some software firm) and his family were living in what we would call a slum in the US (whereas the actual poor were homeless or in shanty towns) and not even a particularly nice slum. The apartment was dingy, small and poorly lit. They only had one table and four chairs, but their family was larger (and they had invited a friend or two) so we took turns eating. We ate first with the IT professional and his friends. Then, when we were done others sat down and had their dinner. They also did not use silverware, but ate the dal and rice with their hands (this is standard we found out later). The electricity went on and off at seemingly random times (we were told that this was normal for June — hot before the monsoon).
However, if the apartment was small, dingy, poorly furnished and the utilities were iffy, there still had domestic servants! Yes, that’s right! They had a cook and I think a maid too. I simply can’t imagine that situation in the US. If you have a cook and a maid, you certainly aren’t living in what looks like a slum.
Last edited by Jill_Schramm; 04-17-2019 at 08:34 PM..
Reason: Typos
On a short trip to a town in Mexico, DW and I wanted to go out for the evening, so the hotel manager invited my 8-yo to spend the evening at his house being entertained by his daughters. She still remembers it vividly 30 years later, one of the high points of her life, and a lovely gesture.
This is something I haven't done much on, not being very socially extroverted. How many countries have you been invited into a private home?
The rules are, in the living quarters where business is not conducted. Host may not be a first-world ex-pat, but may be immigrant.
I've been in a private home in only about half the countries I've been in. A couple of times in recent years, I/ve actually padded te number by asking an acquaintance if I can see what their home is like. People are quite gracious, who would otherwise ashamed of how they live in the third world, to the eyes of an American.
I've also been in 48 states, in almost half, never been in a private home..
Do,you invite strangers into your house? I'm going to guess that's a no so why would you expect someone to do that in another location?
Do,you invite strangers into your house? I'm going to guess that's a no so why would you expect someone to do that in another location?
Regularly. I've put hitchhikers up for the night. I've given travelers my address and told them to stop when they get to town. Hospitality is cheap and pays back nice rewards.
We took in a boy from Hong Kong when he was passing through Chile, and years later, stayed at his place in Hong Kong.
We have hosted foreign exchange students and also a couple of couchsurfers. It's really cool to see what your home looks like through the eyes of someone who has never been in an American home before. Some of our students have been from wealthier families and some have been from less wealthy families, so it's run the gamut.
We have only stayed in a private home in Germany, when we went to visit our first student. We stayed with her, her parents, and her brother, and we also visited the home of her grandfather. Her parents and also the parents of another student have come to visit us; one mother came for Easter one year and Christmas another year. We had a German couchsurfer and her son stay with us for a few days around Christmas one year and a Russian couchsurfer and her daughter visited just for the day.
I'm very interested in how other people live and I hope to be able to visit more homes in other countries as well as welcome more people from various countries into my home. Once our teens move out and we have extra bedrooms, I also plan to host refugee families if we can. Getting to know people of other cultures is something I am fairly passionate about.
Regularly. I've put hitchhikers up for the night. I've given travelers my address and told them to stop when they get to town. Hospitality is cheap and pays back nice rewards.
We took in a boy from Hong Kong when he was passing through Chile, and years later, stayed at his place in Hong Kong.
Not everyone is a good person. People can steal from you or worse, try to hurt or kill you.
I would steer clear of inviting strangers into your home.
You have been very lucky. Some people don't have the same kind of experiences with people they 'take in'.
Not everyone is a good person. People can steal from you or worse, try to hurt or kill you.
I would steer clear of inviting strangers into your home.
You have been very lucky. Some people don't have the same kind of experiences with people they 'take in'.
While you are right that not everyone is a nice person, most people are. You can usually take some common-sense precautions when inviting someone over that will lower your risk. For example, don't invite a stranger (particularly a male stranger) when you are home alone, let others know of your plans, consider using a website that has reviews (such as couchsurfer.org, if it still exists), listen to your gut. I wouldn't invite in, say, some guy who was hanging around in front of my house, but I would invite a family who was visiting the area who I have had a conversation with or maybe had lunch with. Or a mom with a baby (that was our first couchsurfer; we had only corresponded via email and we had a lovely 3-day visit during Christmas and we are still in touch today).
While you are right that not everyone is a nice person, most people are. You can usually take some common-sense precautions when inviting someone over that will lower your risk. For example, don't invite a stranger (particularly a male stranger) when you are home alone, let others know of your plans, consider using a website that has reviews (such as couchsurfer.org, if it still exists), listen to your gut. I wouldn't invite in, say, some guy who was hanging around in front of my house, but I would invite a family who was visiting the area who I have had a conversation with or maybe had lunch with. Or a mom with a baby (that was our first couchsurfer; we had only corresponded via email and we had a lovely 3-day visit during Christmas and we are still in touch today).
Scott Peterson seemed like a nice person too, then he murdered his wife Lacey.
I think it's a big risk to 'take-in' people you don't know.
Some 'mothers with children' use the children to garner sympathy / get what they want etc etc from you.
People can be nice to eachother without inviting them into their homes.
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Some of our students have been from wealthier families and some have been from less wealthy families, so it's run the gamut.
