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I'm not siding with men on this issue but I'm convinced there is one factor that needs to be changed. Women should not dress sexy in the workplace! Short skirts, cleavage, high heels, heavy mascara, these are all things meant to attract attention (usually male). This is not appropriate in a place of work (not including some professions like cocktail waitresses).
Last week on the job, 3 or 4 female middle managers were in a training session dressed in suits. They looked nice, professional, and contained. When they spoke, you respected them as workers and minds and carried on. Then there was one younger female admin asst type dressed like she was going to a club looking to hook up. She cannot get the type of respect necessary for the workplace and instead sent a message (so the average man would think) that she wanted her sexuality to be noticed. I'm very progressive but that's just wrong.
I've heard it said that it's OK for women to use what they have to get ahead. Sure, get ahead in porn, modeling, acting, pop music, etc., but not office jobs! This has to change.
I'm not siding with men on this issue but I'm convinced there is one factor that needs to be changed. Women should not dress sexy in the workplace! Short skirts, cleavage, high heels, heavy mascara, these are all things meant to attract attention (usually male). This is not appropriate in a place of work (not including some professions like cocktail waitresses).
Last week on the job, 3 or 4 female middle managers were in a training session dressed in suits. They looked nice, professional, and contained. When they spoke, you respected them as workers and minds and carried on. Then there was one younger female admin asst type dressed like she was going to a club looking to hook up. She cannot get the type of respect necessary for the workplace and instead sent a message (so the average man would think) that she wanted her sexuality to be noticed. I'm very progressive but that's just wrong.
I've heard it said that it's OK for women to use what they have to get ahead. Sure, get ahead in porn, modeling, acting, pop music, etc., but not office jobs! This has to change.
Given the recent claims of sexual harassment at Westminster, and leaving aside obvious cases of a criminal nature, can anyone explain how a man should approach a woman he feels attracted to?
I am not sure if my perspective applies to your thread, but terms are being thrown around nowadays that have far different meaning that what is actually occurring.
Sexual harassment is when a person is threatened, coerced, or made to feel they must have sex to get, keep, or advance within the workplace.
It then seemed to morph into emotional realms of not wanting depictions of or discussions about women's looks, whether it be a poster (i.e. Raquel Welsh from the BC movie), or the sexual conquests of male co-workers.
Then it was derogatory comments about how a woman dressed, or "body shaming".
Now it seems to have morphed into even complimentary comments about wardrobe, hair, etc.
These comments can of course not have an hidden agenda attached, and may even be uttered to a person who the complementor does not find sexually attractive.
Heck I was raised to make a positive comment about a woman's hair/looks/wardrobe if possible, because they put so much effort in.
Thus even a heavy set or old woman can receive a compliment even if you would not have any personal interest in her sexually.
Here across the pond, we have a senatorial candidate who the media hates, and they have morphed accusations of him being flirtatious with young girls/women (when he was in his 30's) to sexual assault. These accusations are from 30-40 years ago, and are being termed sexual assaults even though 3 of the 4 women said not even kissing occurred. Yet the headlines say 4th woman comes forward with accusations of sexual assault.
Now of course the headlines are designed to politically sway voters in the upcoming special election. However if terms like sexual assault or harassment are used to describe benign behavior, it erodes the credibility of those who have legitimate complaints of real grievances. Just like the accusation of racism has been used as a weapon to describe innocuous things, now most people assume the accusation is not real or ideologically motivated.
The same is occurring with the lose accusations of terms far stronger than what the person is accused of.
For a start their at work.. its not the place to chase or grope females... and if a woman can have sex any time she wants it doesnt say much for the men out there who arent fussy.... Although Im with the girls here, I dont like how theyre all coming out in droves to tell their story.... most put their careers before harrassment or the thought of losing their jobs.. Its the same as what goes on in every big establishment when men in power take advantage of women who are usually young or making their way up the ladder, its as old as Adam... and theyve got away with it far too long.....but these women who have put their careers first have played into the hands of predators and for that Im angry..... dirty old men at work have always been there trying to cuddle or paw younger women.. and getting away with it as it was put down to banter and a bit of rough play.. back years ago even the police wouldnt have taken this seriously... even rape.... as it always turned on the woman in court if she had any kind of sexual past... and blamed her for leading the man on... its gone on through history how women have been badly treated... especially in the workplace... there have always been the creeps who had to brush past making out there wasnt room to pass or the blatant whistlers,cat callers and rude remarks that some of us have had to endure over the years..... I can remember as a 17 year old haveing to pass through a flat full of men on my way to the offices with dockets.... and there was a metal staircase with holes in the stairs and some would playfully laughing stand under it looking up my skirt as I scurried up the stairs to the office embarrassed and scared to come back down.. now this was all seen as fun back then in the 60s and it was all wrong.... its not just Westminster, it goes on everywhere... I hate touchy men , they give me the shivers , but some dont care and think women are toys...Its a new day and thank god their being showed up for what they really are.... I only hope all the claims are true though as it can ruin lives, families and careers..
I agree for the most part, but many married couples and lovers in general began courting while at work.
Given the recent claims of sexual harassment at Westminster, and leaving aside obvious cases of a criminal nature, can anyone explain how a man should approach a woman he feels attracted to?
This is how I see it:-
A male actively pursues females for sex, not the other way around. That is the way of males throughout the animal kingdom however much society finds it uncomfortable, and that is why a man sees a conquest as a victory and why he is elevated by it in the eyes of his contemporaries.
The female (who, let's face it ,can find sex any time she wants) has no option but to play a selective role and enjoys the luxury of cherry picking from the pack. That is the way of females, and the reason why a woman is not elevated in the eyes of her contemporaries on the strength of a sexual encounter.
Given all that, how is a male supposed to approach a female without contravening any of the restrictions being bandied about at the moment?
For example, a percentage of females apparently think that telling a woman how nice she looks is SH !!!!
I have often felt a wish to tell a woman how nice she looks.
The reality is that if she likes you, you can say or do what you want but if she doesn't all interaction is sexual harassment to her. You need to separate out actual sexual harassment and abuse of power which is real and happens frequently from the politically motivated attacks....tough job.
Given the recent claims of sexual harassment at Westminster, and leaving aside obvious cases of a criminal nature, can anyone explain how a man should approach a woman he feels attracted to?
This is how I see it:-
"A male actively pursues females for sex, not the other way around ".
This is often not true.
I've known women to be quite aggressive and persistent with me soon after just meeting them.
What about women who place their hands on a man's thigh while he's driving or sitting next to him in the movies. Both these things have happened to me.
What was I supposed to do, call a cop or something?
Last edited by zeliner; 11-21-2017 at 04:00 AM..
Reason: Grammar
I’ve mentioned on City Data a few times before, about a man who I used to live near to, who flashed at me. Well, I was reading the Welsh news the other day, and lo and behold, guess what I read:
This has to be the same guy, unless there’s another pervert doing the same thing, in the area. I’m so convinced that it’s him, that I rang Crimestoppers to give them his details. The worrying thing is, that there is a Primary School nearby.
Honestly, what possesses a man to do such a thing? I always thought he was a bit ‘odd’...
I'm not siding with men on this issue but I'm convinced there is one factor that needs to be changed. Women should not dress sexy in the workplace! Short skirts, cleavage, high heels, heavy mascara, these are all things meant to attract attention (usually male). This is not appropriate in a place of work (not including some professions like cocktail waitresses).
Last week on the job, 3 or 4 female middle managers were in a training session dressed in suits. They looked nice, professional, and contained. When they spoke, you respected them as workers and minds and carried on. Then there was one younger female admin asst type dressed like she was going to a club looking to hook up. She cannot get the type of respect necessary for the workplace and instead sent a message (so the average man would think) that she wanted her sexuality to be noticed. I'm very progressive but that's just wrong.
I've heard it said that it's OK for women to use what they have to get ahead. Sure, get ahead in porn, modeling, acting, pop music, etc., but not office jobs! This has to change.
I sort of agree with you, that the workplace isn’t the place to be wearing revealing tops or very short skirts. But mascara and heels? What?! A man can’t deal with the sight of a woman’s ankle these days?
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I’m so convinced that it’s him, that I rang Crimestoppers to give them his details. The worrying thing is, that there is a Primary School nearby. 
