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I think this has all gone too far and the media need to stop this witch hunt, and that people should be given anonymity unless such allegations can be proven beyond doubt.
Personaly I find some of the allegations to be rather pathetic such as touching someones knee fifteen years ago, if you don't want someone touching your knee tell them to get off at the time. Such often idiotic rumours and alegations are certainly not worth people committing suicide over.
It also should be noted that no one is guilty of anything until a decision is made in a Court of Law and allegations do not necessarily equate to guilt.
That was really unfortunate, and sad for the family he left behind. It’s a shame it happened, because if he was still around, he would have been able to protest his innocence - as he said was the case. Now, it’s left for everyone to speculate.
On another case, apparently Aled Jones sent a dodgy text to a woman, ten years ago...
I put up with sexual harassment during my time at university.
I had to put up with flirting, sexual innuendo, having my arse patted/squeezed, or my leg touched, or my hair stroked etc.
I soon put a stop to all that by reporting the person to the Principle, and that was that.
Of course when I retell this sad tale my interlocutors take it for granted that I am talking about a male aggressor; whereas in actual fact it was a female predator giving me all the unwanted grief.
I guess sexual harassment comes in all colours, and not just from some men. Either way it is hugely upsetting and offensive.
There's a time and a place for everything, and an acceptable manner (no drooling, or eyes bugging out, or staring at body parts). There are occasional complaints on the Relationship forum here, from men who say there's no way to approach women anymore, for fear of being accused of something, or of having the police called. That's nonsense. However, flirtatiousness at work is considered inappropriate by management these days, not only by some women, for a number of reasons.
Generally speaking, a sincere compliment is appreciated, if done appropriately (i.e. complimenting an outfit or item of jewelry, or coiffure, vs. specific body parts. This should be common sense).
I think for me this is key ..... Time and place.
I work in health care and I have serious job ... ex I mess up and I could actually kill someone.
When I have people pulling my attention away from assessing someone to chat or flirt ... it is exceptionally disrespectful.
Or when I am trying to talk with someone about something that is related to life or death and they start making comments about what I am wearing .... it gets me furious as it suggests they are not taking what I am doing seriously and think I have time to be fooling around.
A few months back I had a patient continually stop me to talk. Making up excuses to talk to me over and over gain. Eventually this guy asks me out ? I as nicely as possible explained to him that no one working with me could even entertain that offer as it would be considered professional misconduct. He laughed if off. Then a few days later he asked me out again ! Sadly some people just don't have a working brain. After that I just pretended to no hear him when he was calling me lol! He was no longer sick enough to be on my case load regardless lol.
I remember living in London and encountering some exceptionally pushy men. It was likely related to the crappy area we were living in ... but if someone is talking on the phone in a phone both ... if you are banging on the door trying to get their number and calling out sexual comments ... that is sexual harassment ! If you are following a women home .... that is sexual harassment. If you take the liberty of putting your hand on her thigh if you sit next to her on a public bus ... again sexual harassment.
There IS a time and a place for everything of course but with regards to 'drooling' or 'eyes bulging out' I am afraid men are simply 'made' to 'like' the look of women, its biology and you 'pretend' that you are not looking all you like but all the while men have testosterone they WILL look.
If the woman is playing for the other side, just being male, is often offensive. Even if they are straight, unless you are one stunning hunk, often you are just viewed as less than human anyway, and have no right, but to climb back under a rock.
Ain't it just great, what feminism has done for this messed up world?
If the woman is playing for the other side, just being male, is often offensive. Even if they are straight, unless you are one stunning hunk, often you are just viewed as less than human anyway, and have no right, but to climb back under a rock.
Ain't it just great, what feminism has done for this messed up world?
Well I am a lesbian and a feminist (albeit a fairly tolerant feminist); and its kind of interesting how some men's perceptions change when I tell them I prefer women. The flirting suddenly stops, but their innuendo suddenly changes to one of lesbian imagery and "spend the night with me, darling, and I'll cure you!" (which has happened on a couple of occasions).
But conversely, some men can become rather bitchy when they realise I am gay; and inevitably all the usual vulgar slang words come out, which I won't repeat here, purely because I am no longer easy game.
I have been in discussions with other more proactive feminists regarding individual empowerment. In other words, if I want to wear a skimpy, tight-fitting t-shirt (and no bra), along with a very short skirt, I should have that right and without being leered at or tolerate wolf-whistling from men. Some could call this provocation or taunting. But what it doesn't mean is for some men to take advantage by touching, pinching, or attempting to look up my skirt.
It's a murky and confusing situation for some men to be in: I can dress in a sexually provocative way but then expect men not to harass me because of it. I could argue that even looking at me could be conceived as sexual harassment. While on the flip-side a man could counter-argue by saying dressing the way I do is sexual harassment to those who don't want to see that kind of thing.
*I am speaking generally and hypothetically, and not necessarily from a personal pov.
Well I am a lesbian and a feminist (albeit a fairly tolerant feminist); and its kind of interesting how some men's perceptions change when I tell them I prefer women. The flirting suddenly stops, but their innuendo suddenly changes to one of lesbian imagery and "spend the night with me, darling, and I'll cure you!" (which has happened on a couple of occasions).
But conversely, some men can become rather bitchy when they realise I am gay; and inevitably all the usual vulgar slang words come out, which I won't repeat here, purely because I am no longer easy game.
I have been in discussions with other more proactive feminists regarding individual empowerment. In other words, if I want to wear a skimpy, tight-fitting t-shirt (and no bra), along with a very short skirt, I should have that right and without being leered at or tolerate wolf-whistling from men. Some could call this provocation or taunting. But what it doesn't mean is for some men to take advantage by touching, pinching, or attempting to look up my skirt.
It's a murky and confusing situation for some men to be in: I can dress in a sexually provocative way but then expect men not to harass me because of it. I could argue that even looking at me could be conceived as sexual harassment. While on the flip-side a man could counter-argue by saying dressing the way I do is sexual harassment to those who don't want to see that kind of thing.
*I am speaking generally and hypothetically, and not necessarily from a personal pov.
You should go out wearing trousers, a baggy jumper, plus a long coat over the top... But then you will probably find there’s a man who’s into trousers, a baggy jumper, with a coat over the top.
I can’t say that I have been harassed in the workplace, thank goodness. Apart from over-friendly bosses leaning into you too much. However, I have noticed men elsewhere, who are a bit dodgy, shall we say.
The worst culprits are workmen. They always refer to you as “Love”. They usually say “How are you, love?” or “Nice day today, innit, love?”, whilst their friends are giggling in the background. And it doesn’t matter how covered up you are, they will say “Nice <whatever body part(s)>, love!”. I have tried walking over the other side of the road from them, but then they end up shouting over these things. (By the way, I’m sure Londoncowboy is not like this. ).
Other places you will find this behaviour, is at pubs and nightclubs. Some men there will greet women by smiling at their chest area. Others will look at your face, whilst talking to you, but then their eyes will gradually go down to the chest area, then quickly back to the face again.
I have also had men telling me that they can “Show me a good time, later”. My usual reply to this is “What? You are going to buy me a kebab, are you?”. My friend once got asked “Are you experienced in bed?”. She said “Yes, I sleep in one every night”.
But whatever you do, Zola, never take up an offer from a man, whilst in a crowded pub, who says “You can sit on my lap, if you like”. Because you will be in for a bit of a surprise.
You should go out wearing trousers, a baggy jumper, plus a long coat over the top... But then you will probably find there’s a man who’s into trousers, a baggy jumper, with a coat over the top.
I can’t say that I have been harassed in the workplace, thank goodness. Apart from over-friendly bosses leaning into you too much. However, I have noticed men elsewhere, who are a bit dodgy, shall we say.
The worst culprits are workmen. They always refer to you as “Love”. They usually say “How are you, love?” or “Nice day today, innit, love?”, whilst their friends are giggling in the background. And it doesn’t matter how covered up you are, they will say “Nice <whatever body part(s)>, love!”. I have tried walking over the other side of the road from them, but then they end up shouting over these things. (By the way, I’m sure Londoncowboy is not like this. ).
Other places you will find this behaviour, is at pubs and nightclubs. Some men there will greet women by smiling at their chest area. Others will look at your face, whilst talking to you, but then their eyes will gradually go down to the chest area, then quickly back to the face again.
I have also had men telling me that they can “Show me a good time, later”. My usual reply to this is “What? You are going to buy me a kebab, are you?”. My friend once got asked “Are you experienced in bed?”. She said “Yes, I sleep in one every night”.
But whatever you do, Zola, never take up an offer from a man, whilst in a crowded pub, who says “You can sit on my lap, if you like”. Because you will be in for a bit of a surprise.
Jeez.
I just must be lucky, and I'm a man. Yes I've been sexually harassed at work by a former manager, who was overly familiar, and copped a feel, while suggesting we go somewhere private. I reported it to HR, they did jack all, but it did save me grief when during a management presentation I deconstructed them in front of senior management and showed them to be the incompetent they were, which they [my manager] then subsequently claimed I'd been harassing them during their exit interview Attending The Sorbonne does not mean the person actually learned anything.
I also used to attend RHPS events as Frankenfurter (before I got tired of getting waxed) and that's just an open invitation to lewd comments from women, and various unwanted physical contact. Look I may be a dude in a corset, g-string, fishnets and stilettos, with fabulous make up (girlfriend was a TV make up artist), but I'm not for public fondling. Nor will I go for team intimacy with three Magentas, two Columbia's and a Janet, even if you invite make up artist girlfriend as an 8th member (or actually single member eighth participant) because she's standing right beside me (and gave me great grief for the momentary pause as big and little heads conflicted)
I just must be lucky, and I'm a man. Yes I've been sexually harassed at work by a former manager, who was overly familiar, and copped a feel, while suggesting we go somewhere private. I reported it to HR, they did jack all, but it did save me grief when during a management presentation I deconstructed them in front of senior management and showed them to be the incompetent they were, which they [my manager] then subsequently claimed I'd been harassing them during their exit interview Attending The Sorbonne does not mean the person actually learned anything.
I also used to attend RHPS events as Frankenfurter (before I got tired of getting waxed) and that's just an open invitation to lewd comments from women, and various unwanted physical contact. Look I may be a dude in a corset, g-string, fishnets and stilettos, with fabulous make up (girlfriend was a TV make up artist), but I'm not for public fondling. Nor will I go for team intimacy with three Magentas, two Columbia's and a Janet, even if you invite make up artist girlfriend as an 8th member (or actually single member eighth participant) because she's standing right beside me (and gave me great grief for the momentary pause as big and little heads conflicted)
So it's not just women who are harassed.
True enough. And add to that the number of false harassment claims from spurned/devious women on innocent/naive men, then I guess men as well as women can suffer the same kind of trauma.
And I mentioned in an earlier post on this thread, women are not immune from sexual harassment by other women.
Yes, I think it’s awful when these women say they were raped, when they weren’t. There was a case in the news recently, where the guy had his face all over the media, and his name got dragged through the mud.
The police had evidence of the woman sending text messages to her friends - showing that he was indeed innocent - and the police failed to act on this evidence.
I don’t know what the woman was thinking of, trying to ruin a man’s life like that. So yes, some women are just as bad.
Well I'm a gay man and I see both sides honestly since being a gay dude you often feel like a kind of hybrid man and woman anyway. Women do often treat "Chads" and alpha male douches better than other people (It's understandable they choose those guys for sex- but it definitely doesn't stop there), and give them special rights. They just add to the crappiness of the world by rewarding ****ty behavior and hiding behind some good nice girl image that's fake. It can be infuriating...
But women are also sexually oogled and harrassed by pervy str8 men waaaay too much. No, they don't really want it. It's just plain creepy and these smug str8 men just don't seem to stop. Most gay guys don't treat me this way since most other gay men like me are kind of quiet and shy and don't really openly talk bout that stuff in public for fear of how it will be perceived, since homosexuality itself was a crime for so long. But for a woman it's a lot more consistent.
Do I think it's a problem? Yes. Do I think people over-react to stuff and use these situations to play victim and attack others unfairly? Hell Yes.
Do I think all perverts should be publicly shamed and have their careers ruined - Nope. It's operating under the false pretense that two wrongs make a right and volia... you are just left with more wrongs. Don't get me wrong, true sexual abuse should definitely be punished like any other crime, but it shouldn't be glorified so much in the media.
The other day a guy looked at my junk while I was urinating in a public bathroom. It felt a little weird even tho I'm gay (wasn't into him), but to totally over-react and ruin the poor guy's life because of it? Give me a break. People who do that need to be exposed for the *******s they are, including all these overly privileged narcissistic women who think they are saving the world or some ****. LoL they are just typical selfish celebrities hiding their own brutality behind snobby sounding words...
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.......
.... it gets me furious as it suggests they are not taking what I am doing seriously and think I have time to be fooling around.
! Sadly some people just don't have a working brain. After that I just pretended to no hear him when he was calling me lol! He was no longer sick enough to be on my case load regardless lol.
! If you are following a women home .... that is sexual harassment. If you take the liberty of putting your hand on her thigh if you sit next to her on a public bus ... again sexual harassment.
(By the way, I’m sure Londoncowboy is not like this. 
