Dad's too "macho" to make plans with other Dads? (bike, property)

[FeelGood2011]

Here's my deal: I am married to a nice lady and we have a few young children. My wife and I are trying to meet new people and want to help our kids make new friends too. On several occasions, I've asked some other dads if they want to take the kids to a local park, or some other simple event. Suprisingly (at least to me) on several occasions, other dad's will respond: "Uh, I dunno, you gotto go ask my wife, she makes the plans." On another occasions, I've called other dads and they won't call back. One even said to my wife that he was "scared to make the plans." So, in layman's terms: WTF are these other fathers so chicken of?? My impression is that they are too macho and leave all of the social plans up to their wives? I am a normal dude, and I see nothing wrong with getting the kids together and taking them for a hike, a bike ride or something with another dad that I can be friends with, but apparently this is not the SOCIAL NORM. Is this just a Virginia cultural phenomenon, or is it overall 21st century American society behavior???

[cb at sea]

Maybe you should make friends with the other dads before you start suggesting outings......I mean, I don't see a problem with your request, but maybe they just aren't comfortable with you, yet!
How about your wife inviting the entire other family over for a cookout or something....bring the kiddies! Get to know the folks and then try again with the dads/kids thing!

[user8]

That's not macho, that's disinterest.

[FeelGood2011]

No, you have missed the point.

Originally Posted by user8

That's not macho, that's disinterest.

[FeelGood2011]

CB- I agree with you, this is the logical course. We've done both, and ths is why I cannot figure out the "You gotta go ask my wife" routine. I guess it is just the normal way of life round these parts.

Originally Posted by cb at sea

Maybe you should make friends with the other dads before you start suggesting outings......I mean, I don't see a problem with your request, but maybe they just aren't comfortable with you, yet!
How about your wife inviting the entire other family over for a cookout or something....bring the kiddies! Get to know the folks and then try again with the dads/kids thing!

[user8]

Originally Posted by FeelGood2011

No, you have missed the point.

Oh have I? You ask a bunch of dudes you don't know to do stuff and they blow you off because they're probably weirded out. That's disinterest. They're just being nice about it.

[stan4]

Originally Posted by user8

Oh have I? You ask a bunch of dudes you don't know to do stuff and they blow you off because they're probably weirded out. That's disinterest. They're just being nice about it.

I kind of have to agree with this.

[Kreutz]

Originally Posted by FeelGood2011

Here's my deal: I am married to a nice lady and we have a few young children. My wife and I are trying to meet new people and want to help our kids make new friends too. On several occasions, I've asked some other dads if they want to take the kids to a local park, or some other simple event. Suprisingly (at least to me) on several occasions, other dad's will respond: "Uh, I dunno, you gotto go ask my wife, she makes the plans." On another occasions, I've called other dads and they won't call back.

The wife thing is just a polite excuse. The never calling back is too. Most men simply retain their childhood friends, or just don't have any beyond work acquaintances and are happy with that.

I'm a married guy with 4 kids and have no friends in the area since I'm not from here, and I'd make the same excuse those other guys did if you approached me....its just uncomfortable and I really have no need nor want of a friend since I'm really busy with my kids, wife, business, property, etc.

And I'm faaaar from a "macho" type.

[FeelGood2011]

User8:
Yes, you have completely missed the point.

Originally Posted by user8

Oh have I? You ask a bunch of dudes you don't know to do stuff and they blow you off because they're probably weirded out. That's disinterest. They're just being nice about it.

[FeelGood2011]

Kreutz,
I am talking about other dads who I know from around town, etc and our kids are friends with each other. These are not strangers. That is my point. I am also very busy, have a full time job, happy with my family and have childhood friends, but I am willing to make the effort and go the extra mile for my kids. So your post and the other responses from some other posters seem to point towards the fact that there is a social taboo - or just cowardice- on the part of other men who don't want to make friends for themselves or for their kids. That is a shame.

Originally Posted by Kreutz

The wife thing is just a polite excuse. The never calling back is too. Most men simply retain their childhood friends, or just don't have any beyond work acquaintances and are happy with that.

I'm a married guy with 4 kids and have no friends in the area since I'm not from here, and I'd make the same excuse those other guys did if you approached me....its just uncomfortable and I really have no need nor want of a friend since I'm really busy with my kids, wife, business, property, etc.

And I'm faaaar from a "macho" type.