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Old 06-05-2012, 05:44 PM
 
40 posts, read 89,154 times
Reputation: 35

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Here's my deal: I am married to a nice lady and we have a few young children. My wife and I are trying to meet new people and want to help our kids make new friends too. On several occasions, I've asked some other dads if they want to take the kids to a local park, or some other simple event. Suprisingly (at least to me) on several occasions, other dad's will respond: "Uh, I dunno, you gotto go ask my wife, she makes the plans." On another occasions, I've called other dads and they won't call back. One even said to my wife that he was "scared to make the plans." So, in layman's terms: WTF are these other fathers so chicken of?? My impression is that they are too macho and leave all of the social plans up to their wives? I am a normal dude, and I see nothing wrong with getting the kids together and taking them for a hike, a bike ride or something with another dad that I can be friends with, but apparently this is not the SOCIAL NORM. Is this just a Virginia cultural phenomenon, or is it overall 21st century American society behavior???
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Old 06-05-2012, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Fredericksburg, Va
5,404 posts, read 16,005,856 times
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Maybe you should make friends with the other dads before you start suggesting outings......I mean, I don't see a problem with your request, but maybe they just aren't comfortable with you, yet!
How about your wife inviting the entire other family over for a cookout or something....bring the kiddies! Get to know the folks and then try again with the dads/kids thing!
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Old 06-05-2012, 08:25 PM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
1,388 posts, read 2,390,652 times
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That's not macho, that's disinterest.
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Old 06-06-2012, 06:36 AM
 
40 posts, read 89,154 times
Reputation: 35
No, you have missed the point.


Quote:
Originally Posted by user8 View Post
That's not macho, that's disinterest.
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Old 06-06-2012, 06:37 AM
 
40 posts, read 89,154 times
Reputation: 35
CB- I agree with you, this is the logical course. We've done both, and ths is why I cannot figure out the "You gotta go ask my wife" routine. I guess it is just the normal way of life round these parts.


Quote:
Originally Posted by cb at sea View Post
Maybe you should make friends with the other dads before you start suggesting outings......I mean, I don't see a problem with your request, but maybe they just aren't comfortable with you, yet!
How about your wife inviting the entire other family over for a cookout or something....bring the kiddies! Get to know the folks and then try again with the dads/kids thing!
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Old 06-06-2012, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
1,388 posts, read 2,390,652 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FeelGood2011 View Post
No, you have missed the point.
Oh have I? You ask a bunch of dudes you don't know to do stuff and they blow you off because they're probably weirded out. That's disinterest. They're just being nice about it.
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Old 06-06-2012, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,259 posts, read 64,416,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by user8 View Post
Oh have I? You ask a bunch of dudes you don't know to do stuff and they blow you off because they're probably weirded out. That's disinterest. They're just being nice about it.
I kind of have to agree with this.
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Old 06-07-2012, 04:51 PM
 
2,776 posts, read 3,598,118 times
Reputation: 2312
Quote:
Originally Posted by FeelGood2011 View Post
Here's my deal: I am married to a nice lady and we have a few young children. My wife and I are trying to meet new people and want to help our kids make new friends too. On several occasions, I've asked some other dads if they want to take the kids to a local park, or some other simple event. Suprisingly (at least to me) on several occasions, other dad's will respond: "Uh, I dunno, you gotto go ask my wife, she makes the plans." On another occasions, I've called other dads and they won't call back.
The wife thing is just a polite excuse. The never calling back is too. Most men simply retain their childhood friends, or just don't have any beyond work acquaintances and are happy with that.

I'm a married guy with 4 kids and have no friends in the area since I'm not from here, and I'd make the same excuse those other guys did if you approached me....its just uncomfortable and I really have no need nor want of a friend since I'm really busy with my kids, wife, business, property, etc.

And I'm faaaar from a "macho" type.
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Old 06-07-2012, 05:23 PM
 
40 posts, read 89,154 times
Reputation: 35
User8:
Yes, you have completely missed the point.


Quote:
Originally Posted by user8 View Post
Oh have I? You ask a bunch of dudes you don't know to do stuff and they blow you off because they're probably weirded out. That's disinterest. They're just being nice about it.
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Old 06-07-2012, 05:26 PM
 
40 posts, read 89,154 times
Reputation: 35
Kreutz,
I am talking about other dads who I know from around town, etc and our kids are friends with each other. These are not strangers. That is my point. I am also very busy, have a full time job, happy with my family and have childhood friends, but I am willing to make the effort and go the extra mile for my kids. So your post and the other responses from some other posters seem to point towards the fact that there is a social taboo - or just cowardice- on the part of other men who don't want to make friends for themselves or for their kids. That is a shame.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kreutz View Post
The wife thing is just a polite excuse. The never calling back is too. Most men simply retain their childhood friends, or just don't have any beyond work acquaintances and are happy with that.

I'm a married guy with 4 kids and have no friends in the area since I'm not from here, and I'd make the same excuse those other guys did if you approached me....its just uncomfortable and I really have no need nor want of a friend since I'm really busy with my kids, wife, business, property, etc.

And I'm faaaar from a "macho" type.

Last edited by FeelGood2011; 06-07-2012 at 05:37 PM..
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