Inviting SINGLE people to weddings - what is the RIGHT protocol? (invite, husband)
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Ok, people are going to get married and have a reception.
The church or chapel part generally doesn't change the cost much, but the type and size of the reception locale, along with the food and beverages that will be served will cause costs to change. Also, it may be likely that anywhere from 10% to 25% of the invitees will be single, especially if soon after high school or college.
Do you invite them as "Person" and Guest, do you differentiate as to whether or not there is a known significant other, or do you allow all single invitees to bring a guest to make their "comfort level" at the event more equitable?
What IS wedding etiquette on this? Also, clarify if you are using the "reasonable person's" rule of thumb and/or a "cheap person's" rule of thumb.
Old-school etiquette dictates that guests are addressed by name. No "and guest." We just called a few people and asked whom they'd be bringing so we (well, I) could address the envelopes. We had a bigger wedding (125 guests or so) but we didn't have many unattached friends. There is no requirement that guests should be allowed to bring dates; the guest list is up to the hosts.
People do whatever they want, though. Some people have a lot of single friends and like to invite them to bring dates if they wish. Personally, I think a wedding is a great place for singles to mingle. You're already dressed up and the food is free.
Last edited by JustJulia; 05-19-2012 at 05:36 PM..
JustJulia is correct. Etiquette dictates that each person being invited have a name on the invitation. if the guests are married or living together, you can send one invitation and they should appear in alphabetical order, not always woman or man first.
The rule I followed (I am still planning but my guest list is in stone) is engaged, living together, or serious and I invited the guest. If they were not involved, I sent a "single" invitation.
Also, etiquette does state that a "single" invitation should be sent to each member of a couple who does not live together.
My first wedding that I planned (but didn't go through with) - we were going to invite only people who were in serious relationships to bring their SO. My second wedding that I planned (the one I went through with) - we invited everyone to bring a guest. Reason being was that we had a destination wedding and we thought that if people were flying all the way out to Hawaii - they might not want to do that alone! One of my bridesmaids brought her sister with her.
Is it plausible and normal that a single person can, and does, bring a guest? The RSVP says "____ will attend." I think 4 is ridiculous, but 2 isn't. At most weddings I've been to, single people (living apart, but with girlfriends or boyfriends) brought them along and didn't torque anybody in the process.
The answer again depends on how formal. Technically, if the person is not listed on the invitation, they have not been invited. 1 name, 1 invite. So, if the invitation is only made out to Mr. Bob Miller, then the RSVP is only for one. Not 2, or any more than 2.
Is it plausible and normal that a single person can, and does, bring a guest? The RSVP says "____ will attend." I think 4 is ridiculous, but 2 isn't. At most weddings I've been to, single people (living apart, but with girlfriends or boyfriends) brought them along and didn't torque anybody in the process.
No. If the invite is not addressed to both people or to you and "guest" - then a guest is not invited. The "____ will attend" is meant for knowing how many people are coming when 2 or more were invited on a single invitation - not so that you can add your own guest.
No. If the invite is not addressed to both people or to you and "guest" - then a guest is not invited. The "____ will attend" is meant for knowing how many people are coming when 2 or more were invited on a single invitation - not so that you can add your own guest.
Also, etiquette dictates that it is not proper to invite someone as "guest"
Also, etiquette dictates that it is not proper to invite someone as "guest"
I think the etiquette is off. Then, what must have happened, in terms of the wording of invitations, at those weddings where "Bob Miller" showed up with "Mary Taylor," a girl he had been seeing for the last 6 or 9 months? I've seen lots of that.
I think the etiquette is off. Then, what must have happened, in terms of the wording of invitations, at those weddings where "Bob Miller" showed up with "Mary Taylor," a girl he had been seeing for the last 6 or 9 months? I've seen lots of that.
I can't remember how I worded our invitations - but I do know that I was in touch with my close friends so I basically knew who was bringing someone and who wasn't. I probably wrote the invitations accordingly. I have also had friends ask me how to spell my husband's name back when were dating so that they could include him on the invitations. And I think - even though it might not be proper etiquette - some people might address invitations to "so-and-so and guest" if they have decided that they have enough room and money for everyone to bring a date. Or maybe people are just being presumptuous and bringing a date even though they weren't invited.
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