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Have most wedding receptions in your family featured a DJ, a band, or a mere dinner? Also, how drunk do people at them get?
Most I have gone to have featured a DJ. None have had a band.
The wedding receptions I've gone to have been the height of adult drunkenness. It just seems accepted like no other event to get absolutely trashed after a sacred and holy ceremony.
Most of the weddings in my family (myself, sister, cousins, aunts & uncles) have had a DJ. Only one cousin had a band. That was a lot of fun because the band was well known, and really good. Everyone was taken by surprise when they walked into the reception hall and this famous band was there. The excitement was electric. This band switched off with a fantastic DJ. Overall, as fancy as that wedding was, I'd say that the music was by far the most memorable thing about the entire event.
In general there's a moderate amount of drinking at my family's weddings. It's never to the point of anyone getting obviously drunk. People drink to enhance the festivities.
Most I've been to had DJ's and dancing. Most had drinking and were a good time. All of those had a sit down or buffet dinner. I have some relatives that went a little lower key with day time weddings, background music, but no dancing, finger food or light lunch instead of sit down meal.
I know someone who had a nationally known band at their reception. They had to bare-bones everything else to afford it but no one cared. Once the guests heard about the scheme everyone offered to help. Cake, food, liquor mostly given as gifts. Decorations donated. Photography done by the guests. Everyone had a blast. Everyone dancing, everyone laughing. The band took requests. Let the groom sing with them. The musicians all took turns dancing with the bride. We had a New Orleans-style parade. Good music trumps every other facet of a wedding reception. Go for the best you can afford. People forget food. People forget what they drank. They certainly forget centerpieces and favors. They'll never forget that kind of entertainment.
I must have very different friends and family when it comes to alcohol. My second husband and I had two receptions sort of. After the ceremony we went to a local restaurant and had a buffet dinner for whomever could make it and after that we went to his grandma's house and had a reception there for whomever could make that. The restaurant was no alcohol but Grandma's house had alcohol and no one there got anywhere close to drunk, tipsy yet, feeling pretty good yes but not out of control stinking drunk and everyone seemed to have a good time. We had mixed drinks and beer and other non alcoholic drinks for those who did not want liquor at all. I can't imagine getting drunk at a wedding reception myself though but I am not a big drinker anyway.
The most fun wedding reception I've been to was a few years ago when my good friend from high school and her fiance just loaded up an ipod with good music and let it play. Most other receptions have had a DJ and never have I seen anyone inappropriately drunk.
We had a cocktail hour, with open bar and hors doeuvres, before dinner, and then only wine with dinner. Other than that, a guest would have had to go elsewhere in the building and buy their own drinks.
Some classless people might abuse your hospitality if they can have unlimited for free, and this frequently causes trouble of one sort or another. If you feel you cannot avoid having a bar open all night, then have the bartenders scrupulously monitor and cut off drunks.
I must have very different friends and family when it comes to alcohol. My second husband and I had two receptions sort of. After the ceremony we went to a local restaurant and had a buffet dinner for whomever could make it and after that we went to his grandma's house and had a reception there for whomever could make that. The restaurant was no alcohol but Grandma's house had alcohol and no one there got anywhere close to drunk, tipsy yet, feeling pretty good yes but not out of control stinking drunk and everyone seemed to have a good time. We had mixed drinks and beer and other non alcoholic drinks for those who did not want liquor at all. I can't imagine getting drunk at a wedding reception myself though but I am not a big drinker anyway.
This is a very good example of only having your friends and the people who you know well, and who love you, at your wedding.
Those who think they must invite their whole office, and everyone's boyfriend and girlfriend, then pour them full of alcohol, are wrong. Then they wonder why the reception turns ugly.
I have alcoholic uncles. Most times they behave themselves. There have been times they acted up. When they drink beer, they're mellow. When they drink whiskey or tequila they are "Jerry Springer" violent.
There's no good reason to provide alcohol for a wedding reception. Offer bottled water, soda, and or fruit punch. Even the traditional wedding toast can be substituted with sparkling grape juice. We had a DJ, my wife's cousin.
My daughter got married three years ago, and they had a catered reception with a DJ. The DJ was the groom's friend. There was an open bar, but it closed after a few hours. There were those guests who did not drink or dance (due to religion) and those who did. No one got drunk, but there was a lot of line dancing performed by the groom's family. They are all great dancers. On DH's side of the family, they do not drink alcohol or dance (but he does). He wouldn't have missed the dance with our daughter for anything!
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