Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Is it in fact a destination wedding? Do you and they live in or close to the mountains? Hmm . You may have said this, I haven't read through all of the posts yet.
Ok, just read through the posts!! Maybe they just want you to know they are getting married, perhaps they are excited or whatever and want to tell the world. Also maybe the bride feels bad about how you were treated at the last wedding, a chance for amends perhaps?
Got a card in the mail today that I thought was for Christmas. No, it's a wedding invitation. For January 9, at a ski resort.
I don't get it. AFAIK, the bride and groom aren't avid skiers. What's the bride going to walk down the aisle in, apres-ski booties? Both the MOB and the GMOB have mobility issues, so yeah, let's drag them to a high altitude location with lots of ice and snow.
We won't be going. I realize weddings are all about the bride but this isn't her first. The family pulled out all the stops on that one (10 years ago) and we took a week off from work to attend...and ended up being treated like redheaded stepchildren, so no. Especially since we'll see them all at Christmas, a mere 15 days earlier!
I realize that no one makes plans while considering what the guests might have to go through to get there and we won't be missed. But this seems exceptionally tone-deaf when they could have gotten married at Christmas.
I wish them all the happiness in the world, naturally, while simultaneously wondering what the heck they're thinking.
Not nice to take offense at an invitation. You don't want to go, so don't. Send them a card with your best wishes, and a gift if you want, maybe a small token gift, and be happy for them.
Mountain wedding not a destination wedding from here either.
As far as when they were sent out - traditionally it's 6-8 weeks before the wedding so she's right in that timeframe. Most couples do send out "save the date" cards much earlier.
Not all invitations are gift grabs. Perhaps the OP as a family member (? can't remember) is one of those who you are obligated to invite but don't necessarily expect to come. The invitation is more of an acknowledgement of their family/close friend of the family status than an expectation of attendance or receipt of a gift .
I am going to guess that they chose the ski resort so that they would have beautiful background in their wedding photos. Wedding ceremony is most likely going to be in the lodge, not out in the howling wind and snow.
...
Send a card that says congratulations. You don't have to go if you don't want to.
Completely agree. A ski resort would make for great pictures, doubtful they'll get married skiing down the mountain. Could be lots of reasons why they chose that venue (available, affordable, they like winter/snow, convenient location for some guests, etc etc), and it was nice to be invited. I don't know why you felt like the evil stepchild at the first wedding and whether it was because of the bride, but that's definitely coloring your view of this. You sound kind of bitter about the fact that it's a second wedding and the venue seems to be personally offensive to you. If the bride treated you poorly, then maybe this is her attempt to make amends. Maybe you are just a "has to invite" relative in her head and your read of the situation is right on (gift grabbing). Whatever the reason, it's totally up to you how you want to respond. I completely agree that a card is enough. I don't buy into the "you get an invitation you're obligated to send a gift." I do think you should acknowledge the marriage, however. Be the bigger person, wish her the best (and mean it) and move on.
She's on the "you're not invited because we're telling you a month before and the invited guests were told three months ago so they could actually come, no RSVP because this is just an announcement so you can send a gift" LIST.
Otherwise known as the B list, "a few others dropped out so now we have room for you, oh and bring a gift"
Got a card in the mail today that I thought was for Christmas. No, it's a wedding invitation. For January 9, at a ski resort.
I don't get it. AFAIK, the bride and groom aren't avid skiers. What's the bride going to walk down the aisle in, apres-ski booties? Both the MOB and the GMOB have mobility issues, so yeah, let's drag them to a high altitude location with lots of ice and snow.
We won't be going. I realize weddings are all about the bride but this isn't her first. The family pulled out all the stops on that one (10 years ago) and we took a week off from work to attend...and ended up being treated like redheaded stepchildren, so no. Especially since we'll see them all at Christmas, a mere 15 days earlier!
I realize that no one makes plans while considering what the guests might have to go through to get there and we won't be missed. But this seems exceptionally tone-deaf when they could have gotten married at Christmas.
I wish them all the happiness in the world, naturally, while simultaneously wondering what the heck they're thinking.
Maybe they're thinking it's a beautiful location and the photos will be amazing. Maybe the resort was affordable. Maybe they didn't want to get married "at Christmas" because then their anniversary will forever be overshadowed by Christmas. Maybe they checked with the mother and grandmother of the bride and they were okay with the location, maybe they have been in touch with the resort and sorted out mobility help for them.
Maybe, since you're not attending, you should mind your own business.
Maybe it's the groom's first wedding and the location is convenient to his family.
No doubt if they had chosen to get married at Christmas, people would have griped about that as well. Those who would have had to travel would have been annoyed to have to travel over the holiday and complained about the price and inconvenience of it.
Traditionally, a wedding invitation meant you sent a gift whether you attended or not.
Is that what it means? I don't do things like that ... If I don't want to go, I don't go - and no gift. If it were someone really close to me and I couldn't attend, then I would give a gift.
Better than the bridal shower and wedding invitations I received from my brother and his now wife over the summer. For the bridal shower, she didn't want gifts. She only wanted money and this was stated right on the invitation. Can't imagine why only 8 people showed up. I wasn't one of them. The wedding invitation said they didn't want gifts just money for their honeymoon....which they didn't take even though they've been engaged for over 2 years. Instead, she used her vacation time to go on trips with her friends....not my brother who was her fiancee. Supposedly, they're going to go to New Zealand next year. I'll believe it when I see it. She has only taken 1 trip with my brother in the 7 years they've been together. It's always about her and her friends.....strange relationship!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. You may have said this, I haven't read through all of the posts yet. 
