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I have been reluctant to try to get my dh a job at my co. To start, I didn't think it was really an option since I'm just an associate. 2. I'm not comfortable with the idea for personal reasons, which may not be reasonable. But, given the state of the economy and that my dh is graduating in May with limited experience (and not following my guidance recommendations), I started polking around at work on Thursday.
My office is shared by 2-3 other groups. I loosely work with these other groups usually as a customer of theirs. I noticed when we came back from Christmas break that the desk for one of the temps was empty, so I inquired about that guy's status. I was informed that he left for a perm position. I'm somewhat familiar with the nature of that job and it's pretty easy. It doesn't require all that much experience. I figured what the heck and talked with the head of the group about my dh. He let me know they were interviewing three candidates this coming week and to have my dh send a cover letter and resume. He also informed me that there's nothing wrong with networking and referring a spouse, friend, whatever. That it's actually preferred bringing in someone with an internal reference. That made me feel better.
What worries me is that my dh, if he gets the job, would have a desk on the other side of the office. That makes me feel kind of weird. Also, I'm very private at work and I don't like my colleagues knowing my business. My dh is older and while I haven't witnessed age discrimination for seasoned scientists, I have noted raised brows when late in life career changers come in. Obviously, I don't like that. I also wouldn't want my own age to be known to colleagues. They don't know I'm as old as I am. I'm probably just paranoid, right? That's what my dh thinks.
DH and I worked together for years when we had the bakery, 24/7, and that gets old after a while. You know the expression familiarity breeds contempt? Any argument we had at home ended up being hashed out at work. We got up at 3:00 a.m., went in to work together, were there together all day until closing (8:00 p.m.) Monday trhough Saturday, and until 2:00 p.m. Sundays. The weeks before Thanksgiving and Christmas, we slept there and didn't go home at all. Assorted family members worked there, too, on and off over the years, which also complicated things somewhat.
My dh is older and while I haven't witnessed age discrimination for seasoned scientists, I have noted raised brows when late in life career changers come in. Obviously, I don't like that.
They probably wouldn't have the same discrimination against a candidate with an internal reference
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn
I also wouldn't want my own age to be known to colleagues. They don't know I'm as old as I am. I'm probably just paranoid, right? That's what my dh thinks.
You're paranoid. My husband is 10 years older than me. I've never thought people would think I was older simply because my husband is older. Why do you think they would assume you're older when they could simply think you are dating an older man?
DH and I worked together for years when we had the bakery, 24/7, and that gets old after a while. You know the expression familiarity breeds contempt? Any argument we had at home ended up being hashed out at work. We got up at 3:00 a.m., went in to work together, were there together all day until closing (8:00 p.m.) Monday trhough Saturday, and until 2:00 p.m. Sundays. The weeks before Thanksgiving and Christmas, we slept there and didn't go home at all. Assorted family members worked there, too, on and off over the years, which also complicated things somewhat.
Yea, that's a bit much. I don't know how the two of you dealt with that. Fortunately, we don't really fight at home. Or at least we don't have arguments that last long. So, I don't think anything from home would bleed into work. Further, we wouldn't be working together (thank god, I couldn't do that). If we had to work together I think it wouldn't be good. In my limited experience in helping him with homework, it was difficult. He's been asking me to take him on as an intern, but I've been shooting down that idea. It would be crazy.
We won't be in the same department, lab, etc. He'll be in a different lab and that's really where we spend most of our time. But, I will see him in passing and it just makes me feel weird. We would have to interact or not interact with each other in a new way. Also, I don't like the idea of having to tell my colleagues that hey, that's my dh over there. If he gets the job, I'm tempted to not let anyone know, tho, folk will probably find out.
My husband and I worked for the same company for five years. Although we were technically in the same department, there were at least six layers of management on top of each of us before they met, so we were definitely isolated from each other. For about two years we worked in the same building, different floors and wings, and except for driving to and from the office together, we seldom saw each other. We'd meet for lunch once a month or so, and maybe once a week or so run into each other in the hallway during the day. We had zero problems working for the same company, but we would not do well working more closely together.
My guess is that your colleagues have a better idea on your age than you think they do.
They probably wouldn't have the same discrimination against a candidate with an internal reference
The comment made to me was just by an associate, not a person with deciding power. That's not really the point. It was the judgment that unnerved me. This girl said to me about my 40-yr-old intern "why did they give you such an old intern?" I know darn well she wouldn't have said that if she knew that I'm almost 40 myself. Eh, people are going to judge regardless and there's nothing I can do about it. It's pointless to worry about it.
Quote:
You're paranoid. My husband is 10 years older than me. I've never thought people would think I was older simply because my husband is older. Why do you think they would assume you're older when they could simply think you are dating an older man?
This is true. I guess I think it because he's not that much older than me. They just assume everybody walks a cookie cutter path. When my lab mate and I talk about children, he's always like 'you have plenty of time'. ha!
One thing I love about my husband is that he doesn't care what anyone thinks. When it comes to my job, tho, I worry about planting unnecessary seeds, etc. I suppose in general I've always been sensitive to stereotypes and the like.
My husband and I worked for the same company for five years. Although we were technically in the same department, there were at least six layers of management on top of each of us before they met, so we were definitely isolated from each other. For about two years we worked in the same building, different floors and wings, and except for driving to and from the office together, we seldom saw each other. We'd meet for lunch once a month or so, and maybe once a week or so run into each other in the hallway during the day. We had zero problems working for the same company, but we would not do well working more closely together.
My guess is that your colleagues have a better idea on your age than you think they do.
It's hard to say. I'm often correcting people when they call me the youngest person in the lab, which I'm guessing would be late 20's to early 30s. I don't share my age, but I tell them not to assume.
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