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Ok. Are you employed? Would you like to share an anecdote about gift giving at your job?
Sure. I give gifts to my direct reports. I don't have to. And not all the managers do. Just a nice gesture. Lots of people give out cards to the entire department. And some years the higher level boss might give something small to everyone (starbucks gift card or something like that).
While I'm sure there are those out there that give because they feel obligated, some people just like to do stuff like that. It makes them feel good.
I work on a team of about 15 people and every year around this time, the majority of the people on my team decide to bring in holiday cards and a small gift (e.g. candy, baked goods, shower gel- usually something under $10) for everyone on the team. I always sincerely thank everyone who gives me something, but I choose not to give gifts myself. I am polite to all of my coworkers but I don't consider them friends, so giving them a gift wouldn't be coming from my heart and it would only be something done out of obligation (and I don't do things out of obligation). I am not worried about getting a bad reputation or losing out on promotions because of this, and don't really feel bad about it. I'm just annoyed that most of the people on my team go along with the obligation because I know they don't really want to buy gifts for 15 people who they aren't even close to. If the mood ever strikes one year and I feel like I WANT to buy gifts for my team, I will, but until that happens, I won't.
Does this happen at your job too? Do you feel obligated to give gifts to people because you received something?
I make it well known in advance that I do not celebrate Xmas at all. Anyone who is surprised with my not participating in receiving or giving gifts, simply is not paying attention.
Sure. I give gifts to my direct reports. I don't have to. And not all the managers do. Just a nice gesture. Lots of people give out cards to the entire department. And some years the higher level boss might give something small to everyone (starbucks gift card or something like that).
While I'm sure there are those out there that give because they feel obligated, some people just like to do stuff like that. It makes them feel good.
Thank you for sharing. I can understand supervisors giving out gifts to their subordinates as a way of saying "Thanks for all your hard work." I'm just saying that when co-workers on my level (who I hardly ever have non-work related conversations with) give me holiday gifts, it feels a bit fake and forced.
Thank you for sharing. I can understand supervisors giving out gifts to their subordinates as a way of saying "Thanks for all your hard work." I'm just saying that when co-workers on my level (who I hardly ever have non-work related conversations with) give me holiday gifts, it feels a bit fake and forced.
So it appears forced and fake to you. Why does that bother you? Why not just assume it is nothing other than a very nice gesture and be happy.
Last year I received a few gifts from a few different people and I didn't get them anything in return. This year, I'm giving out 9 presents to 9 people because I appreciate 8 of them. For the other person, we share a common interest in dogs so I got her this cute doggie cookie jar of the breed of one of her dogs... I thought of her when I saw it and decided to gift it to her. It really depends on my mood around the holiday season.
I never buy cards or gifts for my coworkers, either. They do a "secret santa" thing every year but I don't participate. I used to participate in the birthday card thing where everyone kicks in $5 but after I was out sick for over 2 months after complications after surgery (and barely surviving on $170/wk in medical disability) and they didn't even send me a "get well" card and, after coming back and my b'day came/went with no card, I decided to no longer participate.
Office politics in general bother me. I don't want to participate in forced holiday fakery just for the sake of looking like a team player.
Back to my original point. If I let stuff like this bother me I don't know how I would get through the day with all the big things out there that could bother someone.
Does this happen at your job too? Do you feel obligated to give gifts to people because you received something?
When I was 50, I worked in a store where we all had to pick a name from a bowl. I thought it was silly, but I did my best and went over the $10 suggested amount. I got the name of the bookkeeper who was always showing pictures of her new grandchild, so I bought her a very nice picture frame. She didn't appreciate it at all. What did I get? The store manager picked my name and bought me a calendar with buff young men (probably teenagers) posing in swimsuits. It was an insult.
So, to answer the OP, I'd rather give the money to charity. However, I'd just play along and participate in the gift giving.
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