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Just curious as to what you guys thought about this:
Do you think single, childless people have it tougher in the workplace than those who have a family to look after?
For example, when there is a school holiday that is not a company holiday, I always see people taking the day off to be with their kid.
Or if their kid has a sports activity, play, ballet recital, anything like that, and they say, "Hey, I'm leaving early today to go to my kid's activity," It's viewed as, "Awww, what a good parent. Go for it."
I don't have kids or a wife so I never get to go to anything like that. I'm at work all day, every day, with no excuses. Don't get me wrong, I never complain about it or anything like that, and I do what work needs to be done.
I just think it's ironic that if I went to my supervisor and said, "Hey my friend's band is playing at this concert hall this afternoon, so I thought I would take off a bit early and go see it." He would be like, "What? No you're not."
Whereas if one of the moms or dads said, "Hey, my daughter has a concert recital at school this afternoon, so I'm going to duck out early to attend it." It would be just fine.
Just curious as to what you guys thought about this:
Do you think single, childless people have it tougher in the workplace than those who have a family to look after?
For example, when there is a school holiday that is not a company holiday, I always see people taking the day off to be with their kid.
Or if their kid has a sports activity, play, ballet recital, anything like that, and they say, "Hey, I'm leaving early today to go to my kid's activity," It's viewed as, "Awww, what a good parent. Go for it."
I don't have kids or a wife so I never get to go to anything like that. I'm at work all day, every day, with no excuses. Don't get me wrong, I never complain about it or anything like that, and I do what work needs to be done.
I just think it's ironic that if I went to my supervisor and said, "Hey my friend's band is playing at this concert hall this afternoon, so I thought I would take off a bit early and go see it." He would be like, "What? No you're not."
Whereas if one of the moms or dads said, "Hey, my daughter has a concert recital at school this afternoon, so I'm going to duck out early to attend it." It would be just fine.
It's a touchy subject, because, while there's unfairness in it for the childless person, if you are a decent human being you also would not want to live in a society where a kid can't have a parent at their activities just because a job schedule got in the way. If it were truly fair, the parent would out of their own conscience make up the time lost by coming in earlier on another day or working through lunch or something.
On the other hand, parents, especially women, who have to take time off or who in general have to put their children ahead of their careers often lose momentum for a while in moving up the ladder. I know I did. My career was stagnant during my daughter's childhood years. I did not have the extra energy or brainpower to take on the additional responsibilities and knowledge that I was able to do later on to help me move up. Currently now, my department director is a childless woman in her 60s. I will never attain her level because of that lost time--but I certainly do not regret it.
I just think it's ironic that if I went to my supervisor and said, "Hey my friend's band is playing at this concert hall this afternoon, so I thought I would take off a bit early and go see it." He would be like, "What? No you're not."
You don't owe the boss the truth. Here's where you whip out the "dental appointment'' card.
Can't you take PTO whenever? When I have something going on in the evening and I know I'll need time to get there, I'll take 1/2 day of PTO. Your boss doesn't need to know what's going on. If they ask: you're not feeling well, you have a doctor appointment, you have a dentist appointment, etc.
OMG!! Yes.. I know the feeling! But now if I have to leave early, I just tell my boss that I "have an appointment". Some times I do, and bring an excuse, sometimes I don't. But I rarely have to leave early for ANYTHING anyway... so I guess it doesn't bother me as much.
Speaking as a single, childless woman....I still think mothers have it slightly worse, though I resent being expected to take up the slack, or people assuming that my time is less valuable because I don't have children.
I think it's a myth. And I'm saying that as a single, childless person.
You see a person leaving early, for whatever reason. Do you know the rest of the story? Did they come in early to make up for the time? Work through several lunches? Stay late the the week before? Punch out? Spend several hours at home dealing with work email?
Most of the parents I've worked with do all of the above and don't exploit the issue. And for all of the parents who manage to attend a recital or ball game, there are thousands more who can't -- they have to attend a meeting, take a conference call, meet a deadline.
Quote:
Instead of having a kid I decided to take a 3-month trip around the world or sabbatical to write a screenplay
Parenting issues aside, I've often thought that it would be great if ALL employees were given the opportunity to take a sabbatical, say, every 5 years. Just a chance to do something different that go into work every day, and then go back to work a little refreshed.
I think it's a myth. And I'm saying that as a single, childless person.
You see a person leaving early, for whatever reason. Do you know the rest of the story? Did they come in early to make up for the time? Work through several lunches? Stay late the the week before? Punch out? Spend several hours at home dealing with work email?
Most of the parents I've worked with do all of the above and don't exploit the issue. And for all of the parents who manage to attend a recital or ball game, there are thousands more who can't -- they have to attend a meeting, take a conference call, meet a deadline.
Parenting issues aside, I've often thought that it would be great if ALL employees were given the opportunity to take a sabbatical, say, every 5 years. Just a chance to do something different that go into work every day, and then go back to work a little refreshed.
What if everyone works through lunch, answers emails at home, comes in early and stays late on any given day. But those with children can come in late when schools are delayed for snow when everyone else comes in on time. Leaves early for a sick child, or a recital or practice? Say everyone is on an even playing field, except those without kids schedule their appointments and time off weeks in advance with managerial approval. While those with kids are allowed to unexpectedly and sporadically take leave because of child obligations?
I dont think my dog being sick would be met with the same sympathy or understanding.
When parents in my office do that they either have to take PTO or make up the hours during the same pay period (we don't get sick leave). They can not just arrive late or duck out early, and still be paid for their time. Usually those workers are jealous of the ones without kids, as the parents burn through so much PTO in dealing with sick kids and/or family obligations that they don't have enough available for "fun".
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