Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My wife continually gets bombarded at work to contribute for different purposes. Generally, its stuff like someone having a baby, a close relative of co-worker has died, there is an illness in their family, or a child is getting married. Its never ending. The problem is that some people and families are constant beneficiaries and others get virtually nothing out of it. She has noticed that whenever the boss or someone close to the boss has an issue like this that contributions are quite high. Whenever someone who occupies a lower level position needs assistance, if they get anything its usually very little.
Its a government work place and personally I think this sort of thing should be banned.
What are the policies of your work places about co-workers soliciting these kinds of donations?
I work for a fairly LARGE company and we don't solicit for anything like that. HR takes care of anything extreme like death or illness.. I do recall in the past a request from HR for employees willing to donate vacation day{s) for an employee who lost a child.. that has happened a few times actually.
what I do get bombarded with are buying cookies, candy, raffle tickets, etc from all the school kid mom and dads..
All requests for donations for any reason or charitable sales (like Girl Scout cookies) must be posted on a bulletin board. No one is allowed to directly ask anyone else to donate money or purchase items.
The dept . head takes care of flowers for funerals and births.
My wife continually gets bombarded at work to contribute for different purposes. Generally, its stuff like someone having a baby, a close relative of co-worker has died, there is an illness in their family, or a child is getting married. Its never ending. The problem is that some people and families are constant beneficiaries and others get virtually nothing out of it. She has noticed that whenever the boss or someone close to the boss has an issue like this that contributions are quite high. Whenever someone who occupies a lower level position needs assistance, if they get anything its usually very little.
Its a government work place and personally I think this sort of thing should be banned.
What are the policies of your work places about co-workers soliciting these kinds of donations?
Hate hate hate it. I worked in a school, and the amount of money I spent on baby presents over the years is staggering. There really was no way to opt out politely. There was even a collection for an engagement present for someone, and I remember not giving to that because I also got engaged and married while at work and got nothing. Then I quit before having my own baby and kind of felt cheated that I didn't get anything back after all those years of giving to others (even though I was still in contact with many coworkers). It was definitely partly a popularity contest, and very unfair to all. I think it should be completely banned in the workplace.
I worked in government (as a military member and civilian) and it's ridiculous so I can totally sympathize. I would just suggest that your wife politely decline any and all requests. She doesn't have to explain herself or feel badly. Just say no thanks and move on. Sooner or later the solicitors will get the hint and move on. I don't know why it's so bad in the government sector because in my other civilian jobs I never got bombarded like that.
Hate hate hate it. I worked in a school, and the amount of money I spent on baby presents over the years is staggering. There really was no way to opt out politely. There was even a collection for an engagement present for someone, and I remember not giving to that because I also got engaged and married while at work and got nothing. Then I quit before having my own baby and kind of felt cheated that I didn't get anything back after all those years of giving to others (even though I was still in contact with many coworkers). It was definitely partly a popularity contest, and very unfair to all. I think it should be completely banned in the workplace.
I agree with you that it should be banned. The place I work now will leave a card and envelope in the break room where you can sign the card and donate what you want, if you want to. We are all older married women who will no longer have babies and not likely get re-married, so it is usually for flowers if there is a death in the family or one of us is in the hospital.
I was laid off a few months before my second child was born, and I too felt cheated...it seemed like every week I was asked to donate for someone in the building who was getting married or had a baby. I made an offhand comment about this to my ex-boss when she called me some time later...and was I gobsmacked when a flower arrangement arrived that week!!!! I'd like to think they took up a donation for me out of the kindness of their hearts, but naahh...it was probably just an afterthought becaise of what I'd said.
The WORST is when you work in a smaller office and the person collecting and choosing the gift has expensive tastes and tells you how much you are expected to shell out (not a dollar or two, but more in the range of $10 to $20). This happened once where the "collector" ordered an expensive food basket with a ham for a worker upstairs (a good friend of hers) whose sister-in-law had died.
We get a bit of this at my office, but is always done as a party in honor of an event and info is included if you want to give a gift (where the recipients are registered or who is responsible for a collection). Also a card is usually passed around although it seems implied that only those who are contributing to the group monetary gift with the card would sign it. I have never once heard anything at all about what amount you are expected to spend/contribute or doing anything in honor of a relative of someone who works there. No engagements either, just showers right before weddings or births which has been maybe 2-3 per year.
The company itself handles sending flowers for deaths (I don't think they usually send anything for births).
It has never felt like too much, but if it was like some of you are describing I could see being annoyed by it!
Why not say no thank you? In the variety of work places I have worked over the last 30 years, the guys seemed to have little issue saying no thanks but the women often felt obligated. Maybe I am compeletly off base but it seems that way to me.
Maybe suggest that a collection envelope be placed somewhere in the office area and people can contribute if they wish to. This is what a job of mine did and I feel it was fair. The collection envelope was in the front area where all the admin's worked. Usually had a card as well if you wanted to sign it.
Personally I have no problem with saying no.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
