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I work for a large, well-known company in a remote position. I have been there for three years...started out making no money as an intern then worked my way into my current role. In fact, later this year, I will have been there four years! I make good money for my lifestyle and have benefits. (Cue the "you're lucky to have a job" crowd.)
However, since I was promoted, my new manager has been somewhat of a headache for me. He is in his first management job and is younger than some of the people on the team, including me, so sometimes it can be a bit difficult to work with him. While I mostly just try to deal with it since he is the boss and I have no choice but to put up with him, I find that he's been disrespectful of me wanting a life away from work.
My job title calls for a lot of non-traditional hours, which I am mostly OK with. But like everyone else I work with, I do have a life away from the job and would like to be able to do fun things once in a while. However, my manager can be difficult about this. He will schedule me on times where I was already clear I don't have a lot of availability (and in some cases, have already made plans months or weeks in advance) or will be pushy when I say I cannot cover a certain day. Twice before the end of the year, he let three people on my team have the same day off, as he never says no to time off requests. He found himself scrambling to fill shifts as a result. When I told him I had plans (which I had made two weeks before he even hinted he would need extra help on that day), he wanted me to work even though I was coming home late that night and wanted me to work later than the times I had told him I would be available to cover. I was going a couple hours away with some friends but was more than happy to work before I had to hit the road...and it seemed like that just wasn't enough for him.
He did it again last month and was begging me to work during one of the only time blocks I have during the week to go out with my family. I tried to say this was my family time, and he asked well do you have plans or something? It turns out that again, he had given three people time off on the same day and was struggling to find others to work. One of these people had just been hired into the job and started that week, but my boss said this person had an important engagement party and needed to be off. I felt upset because I was thinking to myself...why can this person, who just started the job, fulfill his outside commitments and life and I cannot? It turns out I ended up having to work and sacrificing my free time. My boss could not fill in himself, as he was taking a trip.
Last night, he told us he had made a new schedule and had consulted only a few people on the team before making it. I was not one of these people, but I figured that managers schedules a lot without telling anyone in advance, so whatever. Unfortunately, he moved one of my shifts to a time block where I had already explained I would be unavailable during some of those days. I have season tickets to a sports team, and while I can see how someone might think it's insignificant or just a sport, I am still paying a good amount of money for them and do not share the tickets with anyone. Therefore, every game I end up not being able to make, I lose money, which is tough to swallow.
I feel like my boss respects everyone else's time outside of work. I see they all have no problems getting the time off they want or saying when they can't/won't work. But when I want time off, no one will cover for me unless he asks them to or, like I said, he almost insists I justify to him why I'm not available. There are things I would like to pursue outside of work, but because I am subject to his every whim and he puts his mistakes on me (letting too many people off in one day), I feel like I can't pursue the interests I have.
I am in the process of looking for a new position, but I know it will take a while since this is still a tough market. In the meantime, should I try having a conversation with my boss again or just be quiet about this? He once told me not to feel stressed out or obligated to take extra hours, but he is not practicing what he preached.
This is what is known as being between a rock and a hard place, for sure. From what you have said, I would guess that this guy doesn't have a lot of experience being a manager (three people off the same day?), and he seems to pretty well be scrambling. Unfortunately, people like that will basically upset the apple cart, as it were, in order to look like they are in control to THEIR bosses, and if it screws up things for the people who work under him, oh well---and it's such a delicate situation.
You said you work remotely-if that were me, I think what I would do is if I knew this manager was going to be calling me on a scheduled day off, or whatever? I would change the voicemail on my phone....to a message along the lines of:
"Hello, you've reached *whoever*, and I'm not available to take your call as I will be out of town for a few days", etc.---and then I would turn the phone off and force myself not to answer it- period. The reason I say "turn it off", is because he could check to make sure you aren't avoiding his calls and call from a number you don't recognize...and if you were to answer it, all bets are off, lol- and he would know for sure you were avoiding him, and that could only make things worse---when you get back from wherever it is you went to, change your voicemail back to your usual message.
It's nice sometimes to work when you aren't scheduled, but it sounds as if you are the "go to" person when this manager gets into a bind, which seems to be often according to what you've written. And the truth of the matter is, he is covering his own behind with his superiors by calling on people to work when they are not scheduled- and he needs to learn to check scheduling conflicts. If you enjoy your job, you shouldn't have to quit because of this wet-behind-the-ears manager, lol. And he can't argue or talk you into working on your day off if he can't reach you. Your time off is your time off....you have every right to turn off the phone when you aren't working-you don't owe it to this guy to work every time he screws up the schedules.
Work/peronal life boudaries are becoming an increasingly problematic area in labor nowadays. You are going to have to continue pushing back but don't assume a new position will necessarily be any better.
Oh, P.S.- he's telling you not to feel obligated to take extra hours, but seems to be badgering you into doing it anyway- I would definitely do what I suggested up there- you aren't confronting him with the issue, mainly because confrontation doesn't work well with most managers, usually, lol- and yet, you aren't doing anything "wrong", and you are showing that if you are off the schedule, you can't be reached during that time.
I feel you on the personal life respect. We just got a new manager in my department who makes 4x what I make, and has no life whatsoever. So she doesnt mind working 70 hours+ a week. The problem with that is she looks down on us for wanting to go home to our families at 5.
^This. My previous boss was a divorced 55 year old women that LIVED for work. It was the reason she was divorced, and she was company all the way. Would call and text me at 8:00 at night on occasion. Its a very difficult situation because you are perceived as lazy to her if you work less than she does.
Wow. It sounds like he doesn't know how to manage very well. It seems like it would work better for everyone if you all had a set schedule. If someone wanted time off, the manager should give you plenty of notice if he wants you to cover a shift. I think you should cover if you are able, but don't feel guilty about saying no is you already have plans. Maybe the manager will get the picture that he needs to plan farther ahead if he can't find people to work. Don't answer the phone if necessary.
I'd say most managers grow into their positions and have lots of difficulties doing so in the beginning. Whatever, it doesn't solve your problem. I look at it this way: you can handle it as an employee however you wish, just know that there are consequences and you have to accept them. The work/life balance thing is understandable, but in this labor market, there are plenty of people willing to sacrifice that. It's not fair, but that's the way it is. People need to start thinking about such things when they do career planning. Do whatever it takes so that if someone puts you in this position, then you have other employment options. If getting on the wrong side of the boss would jeopardize your job and even your career - and it could - then you need to just push back gently.
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